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Old 10-27-2010, 04:06 PM
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New Here

Hi I`am new around here. I`am not sure if I`am posting in the right place.

I`am the mother of users.. Grandmother of a wonderful 7 year old little girl
who is being terribly affected by the disease. I attend f2f alanon when I can but boy Iam finding this so hard to deal with. This little girl recently discovered her mothers drinking and is obcessing about it. Mothers drinking
has increased with a new boyfriend who drinks all the time. My grandaughter
has been acting out for the last 3 weeks in school at home and here at my house. Stealing, biting, etc.. I finally had her confide in me as to what has been eating her up and its her mothers drinking. She doesnt believe her mother when her mother says she has "control' of the alcohol. Shes scared to death her mother will continue to spiral out of control saying her mother is just a follower anyway. Amazing stuff for 7 yrs. young! Last nite I get a phone call she is in her closet whispering that her mother went out w/ boyfriend for a few drinks. I tried to consol her. I do not like that her papa is watching her but that is out of my control. I told her ask God to take care of them and go to sleep. When I woke up I had 5 messages throughout the am
it was her calling me 2:00Am, 3:00am, 4:00am, 5:00, all the way till when she knew her mother would be up. She was up the entire night giving me a discription of her mother being "drunk" , where she hides the alcohol, and she is sleeping naked with a boy!
I don`t know what to do! How did she function on no sleep this kid?
I called her school counselor who seems to make light of this... I would call social services but I highly doubt they would do anything when I had custody
a few years back and they took my daughters side when she was using "crack". I`am going to see her soon. I pray for some direction am coming up with nothing. This poor little girl. I can`t bare to think what will become of her living in this enviorment.
Any suggestions appreciated. Sorry for the length of this.

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Old 10-27-2010, 04:16 PM
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Hi Sam, yes you are in the right place. sorry that you are going through this. i am glad that you are going to al-anon. al-anon has helped me with my partners drinking. the situation you describe does not sound safe for your granddaughter. so sad that her school could not be more supportive. i don't know if you are in uk or usa but in the uk social services should be interested in offering support as your granddaughter is young. are you thinking that you would take custody of your granddaughter? whatever you decide to do remember to take care of yourself as well x
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Old 10-27-2010, 04:27 PM
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Welcome to the SR family!

You have found a wonderful resource of support and information. Please pull out your keyboard and make yourself at home.

I am sorry about your granddaughter. That is heartbreaking.

I believe it would be in your granddaughter's best interest to phone family services. You may find a more sympathetic ear this time. At the very least, you will know that you have notified the authorities of the situation.
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naive (10-28-2010)
Old 10-28-2010, 04:07 AM
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hi sams gram-

keep those voice mail messages!

i hear you when you say that child services didn't help last time...but please try again...

your granddaughter obviously trusts you and is communicating she needs help.

you can always call the police and they will do a check of the house for her safety. when she calls next time, you could ask the police to go check on her safety. they will. i've done this before when concerned for a child's safety and the police were on it in a heartbeat.

you might have to play hardball but there is a precious little girl on the line.

getting the police over there will generate a record in their system. start saving all her desperate phone calls. keep a journal of the events she shares with you.

if you let us know where you are located, i would be hapy to do some research into resources locally available to help you.

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Old 10-28-2010, 07:38 AM
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So trgic..our social services over here is just about worthless too. Keep being there for your granddaughter.She knows she has one stable person who she can turn to and sometimes that is enough...
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Old 10-28-2010, 08:03 AM
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i was thinking a bit more about this situation...

if the mom wants to party, she might be willing to let the little girl stay with you informally.

do you think it would be possible to suggest this to your daughter? that you would like to have the little one with you?

there's a possiblity that the mother might just agree and then she can get on with her boyfriends and partying without a little girl about.

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