I just want to say thank you!

Old 10-27-2010, 09:28 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
I'm as bad as I want to be...
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I just want to say thank you!

Ths has really been the best week that I have had in a long time. I know it hasn't been very much time to change but just the small advice and ways of looking at things has let me stop worrying about my ex and start enjoying life with my daughter.
Really enjoying it,. My ex hasn't tried to see his daughter for any of the scheduled visitations this week, and has missed two days since I found this board.
Normally, I would call him and ask, or remind him and then just sit around for hours waiting for him (in tears, or in anger).
Yesterday, we did not sit around and wait. I did not feel angry, I did not think about him. I finally thought, well what do I WANT to do with my daughter. I got a kids seat for my bike, ignored my ex's voice playing in my head about wasting his child support money and fear of him seeing me having fun and the possible reaction I would get . I actually felt real joy for the first time in a long time. I did not let myself feel embarressed that I was out alone,or feel sorry for myself . I do not feel alone when I know that others have gone through this and have found ways of overcoming thier co-dependent thinking.
Going to meetings ,staying in touch with the truth, expressing myself and not keeping it in, and taking your advice to heart has made such a big difference in the quality of my life recently.
Big hug and huge thanx to those who offer their support becuase it does really help. My daughter says thanks too! She did not want to get out of the bike seat and ran to it this morning crying to get in it!
Shes probably sick of being holed up in this apartment waiting for her dad too!
I had to fight every temptation to call him this morning and ask if he wanted to see her in her costume on the way backfrom school. I told myself ,"That is not my responsibilty, if he wants to see her in her costume, he knows where her school is, and he has my number. If he wants to miss out that is his choce and cannot stop it. But I will not spend this moment worrying about it or let it take away from the joy of this day."
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bookwyrm (10-28-2010), coyote21 (10-27-2010), desertgirl (10-27-2010), Freedom1990 (10-27-2010), Learn2Live (10-27-2010), Live (10-27-2010), naive (10-27-2010), nodaybut2day (10-27-2010), Pelican (10-27-2010), seekingcalm (10-27-2010), Spiritual Seeker (10-27-2010), SteppingUp (10-27-2010), summer09 (10-27-2010), TakingCharge999 (10-27-2010), Yngwie66 (10-27-2010)
Old 10-27-2010, 11:23 AM
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You may be fairly new to all of this, but your growth is shining, dear!
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Old 10-27-2010, 11:51 AM
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Good for you AustinChica!!!
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Old 10-27-2010, 12:02 PM
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How wonderful. What a great post. Yes, sticking with the truth is healing. Give your daughter a hug from me !! No you are not alone and many are shedding our old behaviors and exchanging them for something better

I celebrate with you !! how healing for both of you. I hope you find ways to celebrate every day also remember... we all play out what we learned, if he is not taking care well of his daughter its because he was also abandoned in some form as a child. Knowing this helps me let go, and not take it so personal. I am not saying its OK, just that he just does not know better.

Hugs from a very sunny day down here...
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