I moved out
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: San Antonio TX
Posts: 133
Two more cents from me. SashaMB, you wrote your AH said "that he'd get rid of all the alcohol and be done with it." You are so right in telling him "that it isn't that simple, and that he needs to get into some kind of recovery program if there is to be any hope of working things out." Nobody can do this BUT himself!
Alcoholics progressively need greater quantities of stimulation to satisfy their needs and developed symptoms of withdrawal when deprived of the addictive activity of drinking. Addiction to alcohol involves excessive, repetitive use of drinking to cope with unmanageable internal conflict, pressure and stress. While drinking may begin pleasurably in a person's life, the process to alcoholism involves increasing drinking to achieve the same effect and eventually results in injury to the person's health or to his
work, family and social relationships. The alcoholic typically denies that his activity is detrimentally affecting him. If the alcoholic is forced to stop, he finds he suffers physical or psychological withdrawal pains, and often feels compelled to resume his excessive pattern. Compulsiveness Is a Key!
Alcoholics will often switch to another when deprived of opportunity to participate in drinking. For the majority of my 40 years of marriage my dry drunk husband actively drank over more than half a gallon of rum each and every night. When he finally quit he went cold turkey without working all the steps in AA. He has switched his compulsive drinking to compulsive gaming. Have you ever tried to carry on a conversation with someone while they were concentrating on their keyboard? There's NO way!
Switching from one compulsion to another is like switching seats on the Titanic.
Alcoholics progressively need greater quantities of stimulation to satisfy their needs and developed symptoms of withdrawal when deprived of the addictive activity of drinking. Addiction to alcohol involves excessive, repetitive use of drinking to cope with unmanageable internal conflict, pressure and stress. While drinking may begin pleasurably in a person's life, the process to alcoholism involves increasing drinking to achieve the same effect and eventually results in injury to the person's health or to his
work, family and social relationships. The alcoholic typically denies that his activity is detrimentally affecting him. If the alcoholic is forced to stop, he finds he suffers physical or psychological withdrawal pains, and often feels compelled to resume his excessive pattern. Compulsiveness Is a Key!
Alcoholics will often switch to another when deprived of opportunity to participate in drinking. For the majority of my 40 years of marriage my dry drunk husband actively drank over more than half a gallon of rum each and every night. When he finally quit he went cold turkey without working all the steps in AA. He has switched his compulsive drinking to compulsive gaming. Have you ever tried to carry on a conversation with someone while they were concentrating on their keyboard? There's NO way!
Switching from one compulsion to another is like switching seats on the Titanic.
Bashful Bob
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Yukon
Posts: 1
I was AH 12 years ago
After my numerous, short-lived and failed attempts to achieve a permanent state of sobriety ( or even 'control' my drinking), my wife left me. It was not the first time but this time she moved 1,500 miles away with the younger kids.
That didn't get me sober. What led to my sobriety was the totally excessive drinking I was now free to do. I had no need to leave the bar to come home for dinner. No need to plan family outings that would impede my drinking.
I got to be the complete, total drunk I had been holding back for years. I got to reach my spiritual bottom within 10 months. I crawled into AA as humble as ever I colud be.
I just celebrated 11 years of sobriety. I don't knw if that would have happened without my wife leaving. I do know she would have suffered a lot more if she hadn't.
This is not a story where the couple gets back together. it didn't happen for us. Too much water and distance under the bridge. We are still close, my kids are very much part of my life. In fact my ex and all 4 of my kids flew into my town last year to help me celebrate 10 years.
My wife's words when she left that final time "I still love you, I just can't stand to watch you go down and I can't let you take the family with you." Smart lady!
That didn't get me sober. What led to my sobriety was the totally excessive drinking I was now free to do. I had no need to leave the bar to come home for dinner. No need to plan family outings that would impede my drinking.
I got to be the complete, total drunk I had been holding back for years. I got to reach my spiritual bottom within 10 months. I crawled into AA as humble as ever I colud be.
I just celebrated 11 years of sobriety. I don't knw if that would have happened without my wife leaving. I do know she would have suffered a lot more if she hadn't.
This is not a story where the couple gets back together. it didn't happen for us. Too much water and distance under the bridge. We are still close, my kids are very much part of my life. In fact my ex and all 4 of my kids flew into my town last year to help me celebrate 10 years.
My wife's words when she left that final time "I still love you, I just can't stand to watch you go down and I can't let you take the family with you." Smart lady!
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