Is it a lie? Or just a misunderstanding?

Old 10-20-2010, 07:32 AM
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: littleton, Colorado
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Is it a lie? Or just a misunderstanding?

I have been reading a book that I highly recommend "The Sociopath Next Door" Martha Stout, Ph.D. Because...I now know that I wasn't just married to an alcoholic, but a sociopathic alcoholic. I know the two conditions are not always present, but for me it was. Toward the end of the book, Dr. Stout gives up all a heads up on how you know you are dealing with a sociopath and one of the behavior traits to look for is lying. Here is what she says:

"When considering a new relationship of any kind, practice the Rule of Threes regarding the claims and promises a person makes and the responsibilities he or she has. Make the Rule of Threes your personal policy. (she goes on...) One lie, one broken promise, or a single neglected responsibility may be a misunderstanding instead. Two may involve a serious mistake. But threelies says you're dealing with a liar, and deceit is the linchpin of conscienceless behavior. Cut your losses and get out as soon as you can. Leaving, though it may be hard, will be easier now than later, and less costly. Do not give your money, your work, your secrets, or your affection to a three-timer. Your valuable gifts will be wasted."

Amen to that. I need to remind myself that this person I was married to has issues...and I have finally CUT him out. He can lie to someone else-but not to me anymore.
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Old 10-20-2010, 08:21 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: San Antonio TX
Posts: 133
OK, now that we have lived with an active alcoholic for three days. What do we do with the rest of our time?

Life is a gift, accept it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is a mystery, unfold it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a struggle, face it.
Life is beauty, praise it.
Life is a puzzle, solve it.
Life is opportunity, take it.
Life is sorrowful, experience it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a goal, achieve it.
Life is a mission, fulfill it.

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Old 10-20-2010, 09:44 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
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three days? Mine would have spun them out all woven into the first sentence or so!

But it took me quite awhile to figure that out!

Thanks MermaidGirl!
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Old 10-21-2010, 01:54 AM
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Newport, RI
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I was married to a sociopathic alcoholic. Recently, he was diagnosed as narcissistic... which is actually the same thing.
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