cayceemae

im scared and alone again. im so close to having our baby and he was being so good for a bit there. i thought he might actually be able to hold it together till after our son is born. but this is the 2nd time this week he's gone out. tonight he promised to be home after helping his friend at the tattoo convention but its now after one am and he's phone is off. i'm so terrified of going into labour and not being sure enough that its real labour to call anybody to come help in time.
so now im sitting here crying and making myself sick and really scared to alone (well our 3 yr old is contently sleeping but he's no help)
im so pissed at him right, i had been having some contractions (i think) all afternoon and he knows this and still he pulls this crap. i already told him he is not welcome at the birth if he's been drinking at all. but im still really scared to be alone so late in my pregnancy. the pains i was feeling did at least stop so im fairly sure i won't be going into labour tonight but i just don't know for sure.
he's actual follow through on my list of what i needed he to do to so he could stay... well that didn't work. right now i don't know whats worse, telling him he has to go and be alone every night or just keep going with his once to twice a week late nights.

endlesspatience

Oh. It sounds like a really intense and difficult situation for you. Thanks for posting, anyway. Others will be on later with more support, I'm sure. Being scared is understandable. But I hope you'll bear in mind that because the rest of us here online, you are not alone. Can you think of any practical things you could do now to help? Would sorting out some food or a hot drink help? Is there a friend you could ask to come over?

Praying for you.

cayceemae

thanks - yeah just getting a response on here helps alot. i should be sleeping - my son will be up early and tomorrow is going to be hard. i just needed to vent a bit and now i'm going back to bed and try to sleep. my inlaws live only 5 minutes away so it's not like there is no help nearby. thanks and i'll check back in later

naive

hi caycee-

is there anyone you can ask to come and stay with you until the birth? like your mother, a sister or a girlfriend?

alcoholics deal with stress by drinking. i would render a guess that your man is perhaps stressed about the coming birth and dealing with it by drinking.

that leaves you in an unsupported position.

is there anyone you can ask to come and stay with you until the birth? i know if a friend of mine asked me to do this, i would be honoured.

naive

Rose2009

Caycee,

I hope you are doing well tonight and have some support nearby. I can really relate to your situation as I am pregnant with our 2nd child, and also went through the same feelings of loneliness and fear before the birth of our daughter. Now I wonder why I'm doing this all over again. Many nights, my AH passes out and is rarely available to drive me to the hospital if I need him too. Unfortunately too, we have no family anywhere nearby. What I'm planning for this time around, is to have a friend be "on call" to come get me if needed, as well as a babysitter lined up for my daughter. I have a couple close friends who are somewhat aware of my husband's alcoholism, so I plan to use their support. I still find myself giving him the benefit of the doubt and tell myself he'll be sober toward the end, but I kid myself. And reading your post makes me realize that I shouldn't get my hopes up, because I'll most likely be in the same boat as you.

Just know you are not alone. God is watching over you and will protect you. I hope and pray that you have a safe labor and delivery. You can do it! You've done it before and family is nearby to help. Good luck!