Only Seems Like Yesterday
Sunny Side Up
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Sth Australia
Posts: 3,802
Only Seems Like Yesterday
It only seems like yesterday that we were sharing memories of growing up and talking about what our kids will do when they grow up.
Tonight, my neice just left. We were having a great time doing all the decorations for her 21st birthday party tomorrow night. Pink was the theme of course, balloons, ribbons etc.
I just lost it though, I wish my sister was here to see her daughter so beautiful and grown up and now 21. My neice said, mum wont be at my wedding or when I have kids of my own she wont see it, will she.
Its one year - next month she has gone, dying from alcoholism. How do we mend our broken hearts, wondering why, damn it, why did this have to go this far.
I think I will visit her again soon and ask.
Tonight, my neice just left. We were having a great time doing all the decorations for her 21st birthday party tomorrow night. Pink was the theme of course, balloons, ribbons etc.
I just lost it though, I wish my sister was here to see her daughter so beautiful and grown up and now 21. My neice said, mum wont be at my wedding or when I have kids of my own she wont see it, will she.
Its one year - next month she has gone, dying from alcoholism. How do we mend our broken hearts, wondering why, damn it, why did this have to go this far.
I think I will visit her again soon and ask.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: San Antonio TX
Posts: 133
I understand your grief and your longing for your sister. My 23 year old daughter completed suicide on May 16, 1995. I had the following poem printed on her memorial cards.
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there
I do not sleep
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glints on snow
I am the sunlight on ripened grain
I am the gentle Autumn rain
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds
In circled flight
I am the soft stars that shine at night
Do not stand at my grave and cry
I am not there
I did not die
I believe your sister and your niece's mother will be there at your niece's birthday party. May you have the peace and hope of our Heavenly Father has for you and your love ones!
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there
I do not sleep
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glints on snow
I am the sunlight on ripened grain
I am the gentle Autumn rain
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds
In circled flight
I am the soft stars that shine at night
Do not stand at my grave and cry
I am not there
I did not die
I believe your sister and your niece's mother will be there at your niece's birthday party. May you have the peace and hope of our Heavenly Father has for you and your love ones!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: state of confusion
Posts: 351
I can so appreciate what you are feeling.
When my AH passed away from alcoholism - the most painful part was realizing he would not be there to share the important milestones in his sons' lives. One was 15 and the other a college freshman when their dad died suddenly over 3 years ago.
They have turned into such exceptional young men and I know my late husband would have been so proud of them. I also know my sons must miss having a supportive caring dad in their lives to cheer them on and share their accomplishments. Alcoholism has stolen so much from our family, starting long before my husband's death.
I continue to worry everyday how much the tragic impact of alcoholism may have deeply impacted these 2 fine young men - and hope they will not feel traumatized for the rest of their lives, always left wondering "why?" .... with alcoholism, there will never be a rational or logical answer to that question.
When my AH passed away from alcoholism - the most painful part was realizing he would not be there to share the important milestones in his sons' lives. One was 15 and the other a college freshman when their dad died suddenly over 3 years ago.
They have turned into such exceptional young men and I know my late husband would have been so proud of them. I also know my sons must miss having a supportive caring dad in their lives to cheer them on and share their accomplishments. Alcoholism has stolen so much from our family, starting long before my husband's death.
I continue to worry everyday how much the tragic impact of alcoholism may have deeply impacted these 2 fine young men - and hope they will not feel traumatized for the rest of their lives, always left wondering "why?" .... with alcoholism, there will never be a rational or logical answer to that question.
Sunny Side Up
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Sth Australia
Posts: 3,802
I so understand you, the loss is great but the not having her around and knowing we will not grow old together is crushing.
We had my neices 21st last night and it was great. All her friends were there and they made speeches that were beautiful.
My neice said her thankyous etc and at the end she said 'mum, if you are listening, remember I love you'. I thought I was going to breakdown, but instead I looked at the ring (my sisters, I wore it so that she would be there in spirit) and thought, she knows, shes here somewhere closeby hearing everything. She would of had a few laughs too.
We had my neices 21st last night and it was great. All her friends were there and they made speeches that were beautiful.
My neice said her thankyous etc and at the end she said 'mum, if you are listening, remember I love you'. I thought I was going to breakdown, but instead I looked at the ring (my sisters, I wore it so that she would be there in spirit) and thought, she knows, shes here somewhere closeby hearing everything. She would of had a few laughs too.
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