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It's a rainy day

Old 10-12-2010, 12:20 PM
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Question It's a rainy day

Ok this is the first day that my husband has been out of rehab and it's raining. Means he not able to work or do anything outside, he has no inside hobbies to do and we don't have a shop for him outside. about the only good thing is school is on fall break so he's not totally by himself. But yet he been txt all day how bored he is and makes comments that makes me worry. I recieved 6 wont hurt and I said yes it will. I got life sucks, I'm nothing and it just keeps growing. I heard all the things before and when I went home I found a drunk or he had took of drunk. I've done told him that I could not live thru the h*** again, it's to stressful mostly cause he cheated. He not yet got a sponser and he is on med for depression and sleep. But that makes him feel like a pill head and I try keep him encourge that it's just for few months to blance your mind back out. The fear is really getting to me that he will not beable to keep up the soberness with the winter coming and less work. I search for new home that will have a shop so he can keep busy in it. He's so smart when it comes to cars and I give anything if he could find something keep him busy on rainy days and winter days. I don't want to push and I sure don't want to get upset over what I can't control. But when you love them it kills you to just watch them fall of to the bad thoughts. I know I have no idea how hard it is on him to keep his mind straight and focus on the good. I wished he see the good in himself as I do and to relize he can't control the weather only his actions. I having hard time to keep my faith on a rainy day.
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Old 10-12-2010, 12:29 PM
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I am sorry you are in this situation but I really don't believe he can't find anything to do.
He could fix up something in the house, make a nice dinner, bake a surprise, read the Big Book, watch a movie, excercise, plan his next week, write in a journal/log, call a friend, call AA and arrange for a ride, clean the pantry and remove unused/unwanted items to donate...instead he is choosing to worry you about whether he wants to be sober. And that stinks.
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Old 10-12-2010, 12:36 PM
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Honey, you can't fix him. It sounds like you are an enabler: you want to make everything right.
But you have to ask yourself how you would feel if someone was trying to control your life to the extent that you are trying to control his life.

My husband tried and tried to fix all my messes, but I just kept on drinking. It didn't help me to have a fixer upper.
In the end, I had to fix myself up.
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Old 10-12-2010, 01:05 PM
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If you worry about every rainy day and every time it's the winter season, you'll make yourself sick and he won't be any more or less sober than if you didn't worry. He is going to stay sober only if he chooses to and he will drink again only if he chooses to. It won't be because he had nothing else to do and in the meantime you are spending all of your precious time focusing on him and what he's doing. All this time you spend on worrying . . . remember, you can't get that time back. Once it's gone, it's gone forever.

Peace,
Jen
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