Ugh, there's no good approach

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10-07-2010, 12:09 PM

# 21 (permalink)

Thumper

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Join Date: Aug 2009

Posts: 3,443

Quote:

Originally Posted by BuffaloGal

In his own home, that is the best he can do a lot of times, and my daughter thinks so too-- when they're getting along, I hear about the positive interactions my daughter has with the GF while "Dad sits all night in the basement at the computer." No, I can never make my aexh step up to the plate as a parent (or in any other way). Sometimes he does of his own accord, but not consistently.

But I can do something to prevent the proxy parent from becoming the primary parent.

Not really. Their household will run how they run it. You can prevent her from being at a meeting but if she is the primary parental figure in their house that won't change if she's not at the meeting - except she won't have the information that was shared at the meeting to go on - and you won't have her information. If her dad is in the basement all night, he isn't really bringing accurate info to the table.

You are the best judge of whether she should be at those types of meetings or not. I can see it both ways depending on the details so even though it might not sound like it - I am totally supporting your decision to say she should not be there.

So glad my xah doesn't have a girlfriend yet.