Is this a normal reaction?
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 11
Is this a normal reaction?
I haven't been through too many break ups with anyone other than my now XABF.
I was married before, and my separation from him ended up being amicable and better for all of us, we just grew apart.
A couple other brief relationships so the parting of ways wasn't bad.
In the past, with my Ex ABF, break ups between him and I hurt very bad. During one of the more intense breakups I had never cried so hard or for so long for ANYTHING. With all the other break ups with him too, I always felt that inkling that maybe one day, we'd find our way back to each other.
This time? I'm surprised. I am decluttering my home, kids toys, important papers etc. I find that when I come across something that belonged to him, or has some memory of him I want it, not only out of my hands as quickly as possible, but out of my house too. I've put some stuff in the garbage, recycle and in a bag of his stuff. I guess this is more of a gneral break up question as opposed to an alcoholism question, but I have no one else to talk to. Is this normal? It almost feels like it was such a traumatic thing for me, that I just want it all out of my house, to clean my house and rid my home and memory of him.
One other thing...despite what i just said about wanting everything out, I came across papers that I had. These were pages of all the bad, nasty or mean things he did or said for the duration of the time we lived together. (Not even 1 yr) These papers were kept previously to remind myself of exactly what kind of man he is when he drinks. I re-read them and felt nauseated and sad. Sad that another homan being treated me and my kids that way, and sad that I let him treat us that was for the time I did.
Do I get rid of these papers or keep them as a reminder to NEVER let anyone treat me that way again?
They are currently in my recycle bin....should I take them out and put them somewhere safe? Just now as I type this I think perhaps I should leave them where they are, what if his son ever found them wen he gets older, ya know?
I was married before, and my separation from him ended up being amicable and better for all of us, we just grew apart.
A couple other brief relationships so the parting of ways wasn't bad.
In the past, with my Ex ABF, break ups between him and I hurt very bad. During one of the more intense breakups I had never cried so hard or for so long for ANYTHING. With all the other break ups with him too, I always felt that inkling that maybe one day, we'd find our way back to each other.
This time? I'm surprised. I am decluttering my home, kids toys, important papers etc. I find that when I come across something that belonged to him, or has some memory of him I want it, not only out of my hands as quickly as possible, but out of my house too. I've put some stuff in the garbage, recycle and in a bag of his stuff. I guess this is more of a gneral break up question as opposed to an alcoholism question, but I have no one else to talk to. Is this normal? It almost feels like it was such a traumatic thing for me, that I just want it all out of my house, to clean my house and rid my home and memory of him.
One other thing...despite what i just said about wanting everything out, I came across papers that I had. These were pages of all the bad, nasty or mean things he did or said for the duration of the time we lived together. (Not even 1 yr) These papers were kept previously to remind myself of exactly what kind of man he is when he drinks. I re-read them and felt nauseated and sad. Sad that another homan being treated me and my kids that way, and sad that I let him treat us that was for the time I did.
Do I get rid of these papers or keep them as a reminder to NEVER let anyone treat me that way again?
They are currently in my recycle bin....should I take them out and put them somewhere safe? Just now as I type this I think perhaps I should leave them where they are, what if his son ever found them wen he gets older, ya know?
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,894
I think it's entirely normal to want to get rid of anything that reminds you of your ex. It means that you had "enough" and are not waivering on that decision.
So far as the papers go, why not take them and use the information to write a list of boundaries for yourself? That way you can get rid of the papers that mention him by name and still have a reminder of what you went through and are determined not to go through again. Just something to consider.
It sounds like you are doing great! Hang in there and stay strong.
So far as the papers go, why not take them and use the information to write a list of boundaries for yourself? That way you can get rid of the papers that mention him by name and still have a reminder of what you went through and are determined not to go through again. Just something to consider.
It sounds like you are doing great! Hang in there and stay strong.
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