taking baby steps....

Old 09-30-2010, 02:53 AM
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Location: New England, U.S.
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taking baby steps....

I'm still here and trying to get packed and organized and all my ducks in a row to leave the end of Oct. I have found an apartment! I am so relieved about that. Told the AH and he seems to be understanding of my need to go. He is attending meetings and has connected with someone he is talking to regularly. I am glad about that because it lets me "off the hook", so to speak, and i can really stay out of his business. I am so worried about my own things that i really don't have time for his anyway.
I do feel bad that he will be alone and i hope he can manage to take good care of himself and have told him so. It could make for a nice friendship after I have healed and feel safe enough to try it, and if he is able to care for himself. We are not able to completely untangle all our things, but slowly over time, hopefully 6 months or so, we'll be able to do that.
I am feeling more and more hopeful and I can't wait to get there so i can put F2F alanon meetings in my schedule, find work and an exercise class to keep me on the same road I am on now, but even better!
I am really grateful for all the words or wisdom, examples and people that are walking the walk here and helping me to stay strong. Even if i don't post for a day, i do read and your strength is a valuable tool for me.
Thank you everyone, for sharing your E,S, and H so that i can gain the self confidence to move forward and allow myself to put my efforts into creating a good life for myself!
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Old 09-30-2010, 03:34 AM
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I'm no angel!
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How wonderful, I am excited for you!
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Old 09-30-2010, 06:12 AM
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Wow you're doing so well at keeping the focus on yourself & your own "to do" list. It must be hard, but your determination to feel healthy/free is so evident in your posts!

Keep on keepin' on!
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Old 09-30-2010, 06:46 AM
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what a wonderful adventure you're about to embark on: the rediscovery of YOU!
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Old 10-01-2010, 12:19 AM
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Hi Missphit.
I have been thinking about you a lot while I haven't been posting here so much either. I have been wondering how your days have been while you are stuck waiting and preparting for the next few weeks. I really enjoy reading your posts and talking on here with you.

Things at my end are progressing nicely. Me and my husband have been talking more and, its been like talking to a different person. He says the same of me too. I really think our marriage is going to be saved . We are taking it slow, working our recoveries while supporting each other long distance and waiting to see what reveals in time. We have both concluded that all of this happened for a reason and have put it in the hands of HP.
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Old 10-01-2010, 02:57 AM
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Free, I have thought of you too!! I am also engaged in coversations with my husband and we both agree that this happened for a reason and that we must give it time and take care of ourselves the best we can. I am anxious to get "home" to continue my work on myself, set up a network for me to be able to continue moving forward and have my own place to live. My husband understand that he must work toward recovery and that time will tell and it really is like talking to a different person, but...and this is a huge but for me, i have to remember that it only takes a minute for him to fall away from himself and I cannot ever go back to a place where I am part of that. I do believe, that we can live separately and be great friends and stay married, and i am hopeful that we may be able to work toward that.
I am excited to go home, have my own life and be with my family members, kids, sisters, and grandkids!! it is all very exciting for me. I am packing, cleaning and figuring out what i want, what i don't want and what i am willing to do without! is all good. the apartment is approved and located exactly where i want to be and now i'm working on finding work. I just want a safe, healing environment to be in and i will make that for myself.....
thank you for checkin in and i am enjoying reading about your progress too....i do believe that EVERYTHING happens for a reason!! there is no doubt in my mind and so this event had become an adventure and I look forward to the next section....departure is only a few weeks away.....I am minding my own business, though being kind and understanding, and that is all i can do.....for myself and for anyone else.
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