Small Victory Thread
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 1,118
Small Victory Thread
Our road to the future is nothing more than a string of small victories... I'd like to start a thread, starting with a couple of my own, and inviting others to share theirs. That way we can build on each others' successes.
Today I...
Called a lawyer and have an appointment for Wednesday.
Emailed the owner of an apartment to check on its availability this winter.
Did some readings on gratitude.
Today I...
Called a lawyer and have an appointment for Wednesday.
Emailed the owner of an apartment to check on its availability this winter.
Did some readings on gratitude.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Quebec
Posts: 2,708
Today I...
* Finally got some dental work done, after YEARS of having no mula or insurance to get it done
* Got the ball rolling on getting child support deducted directly from XAH's paycheck
* Sent in my finalized application to begin my graduate course work in distance education.
* Finally got some dental work done, after YEARS of having no mula or insurance to get it done
* Got the ball rolling on getting child support deducted directly from XAH's paycheck
* Sent in my finalized application to begin my graduate course work in distance education.
Member
Join Date: May 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 1,149
today I....
....got my broadband fixed after a whole weekend with no internet access
(turns out I had swapped the power leads between my router and modem - DOH)
refused to accept a ridiculous deadline at work, and agreed a reasonable one.
got some more financial info together for divorce.
Huge one for me: cast out some negative mind-chatter, made the first move and chatted lightly to someone that some intrusive negative thoughts had been suggesting was upset with me (without spiralling into anxiety, without care for the outcome and without obsessing about it afterwards)
....got my broadband fixed after a whole weekend with no internet access
(turns out I had swapped the power leads between my router and modem - DOH)refused to accept a ridiculous deadline at work, and agreed a reasonable one.
got some more financial info together for divorce.
Huge one for me: cast out some negative mind-chatter, made the first move and chatted lightly to someone that some intrusive negative thoughts had been suggesting was upset with me (without spiralling into anxiety, without care for the outcome and without obsessing about it afterwards)
Being Silent so I can Hear
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 2,521
Today I:
-Got some custom design work (that I'm almost finished with).
-Didn't fret over anything, at all!
-was able to keep my mouth shut/my opinion to myself and just listen to someone who needed an ear (mostly LOL)
-Got some custom design work (that I'm almost finished with).
-Didn't fret over anything, at all!
-was able to keep my mouth shut/my opinion to myself and just listen to someone who needed an ear (mostly LOL)
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 115
Today I:
Dealt with difficult clients all day
Didn't say anything sarcastic to AH about his drinking (detach, baby, detach)
Told a friend that I am thinking of moving out (I actually already put down a deposit on a place for next month, but this was the first time I had the courage to say it out loud)
Great thread!
Dealt with difficult clients all day
Didn't say anything sarcastic to AH about his drinking (detach, baby, detach)
Told a friend that I am thinking of moving out (I actually already put down a deposit on a place for next month, but this was the first time I had the courage to say it out loud)
Great thread!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: europe
Posts: 624
Not today (still early in the morning) but yesterday:
Did all the arrangement for the 4 day trip I'm taking with my son on Friday (our own little adventure - I'm so excited about it) and I'm so proud of myself for deciding to do this ( as this is what I feel like doing) instead of going to a wedding party with RAH on Friday night. And I feel especially pround that I'm not worried if he's going to be tempted to drink, or will he drink, or any of it. His business what he does.
Yeah, this definetely feels like a victory.
Did all the arrangement for the 4 day trip I'm taking with my son on Friday (our own little adventure - I'm so excited about it) and I'm so proud of myself for deciding to do this ( as this is what I feel like doing) instead of going to a wedding party with RAH on Friday night. And I feel especially pround that I'm not worried if he's going to be tempted to drink, or will he drink, or any of it. His business what he does.
Yeah, this definetely feels like a victory.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: England (UK)
Posts: 163
I have gone for a week now without unhelpful thoughts, dwelling on worry, or excessive emotional reactions to anything at all - thats actually a pretty big achievement for me.
I have resumed communication with RAH and there has been tons of reconciliation, lots of talking and "listening" to each other (though it has been typed on MSN) and a lot of progress made. Thats another pretty big achievement.
I have taken the situation with RAH and not started making any plans or tried to take control of how things will unfold - another big achievement.
And I made flapjack - not done that one before.
I have resumed communication with RAH and there has been tons of reconciliation, lots of talking and "listening" to each other (though it has been typed on MSN) and a lot of progress made. Thats another pretty big achievement.
I have taken the situation with RAH and not started making any plans or tried to take control of how things will unfold - another big achievement.
And I made flapjack - not done that one before.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
Let my neighbour know that him waking me each morning (opening his door) at 4.20am is causing me health issues and is not acceptable.
Given support by 2 tenants opposite, who also get woken at the same time by his actions.
Felt like clobbering him with the spade, as he gave his excuses for why he goes to bed at 2pm in afternoon, waking at 4am.......he is bi-polar and had compulsive disorder, must do certain things at specific times. Fine, but does not mean others get health and sleep wrecked to suit him.
Success was me holding my temper and quietly telling him HE needed to see his therapist re changing some habits. (Other comments did come to mind.)
Given support by 2 tenants opposite, who also get woken at the same time by his actions.
Felt like clobbering him with the spade, as he gave his excuses for why he goes to bed at 2pm in afternoon, waking at 4am.......he is bi-polar and had compulsive disorder, must do certain things at specific times. Fine, but does not mean others get health and sleep wrecked to suit him.
Success was me holding my temper and quietly telling him HE needed to see his therapist re changing some habits. (Other comments did come to mind.)
Awakening
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Beautiful Texas hillcountry
Posts: 1,272
Let me preface this by saying, you know that parent with the heathen child that is a holy terror, but that the parent believes can do NO wrong? I'm NOT that parent.
Got a phone call last night from LMC's 4th grade teacher informing me of LMC's disruptive behavior in her GT (gifted/talented) teachers class. Not so good.
I was able to stop my initial reaction,
, and calmly ask her about what happened.
I was finally able to get to the bottom of her story through her teary explanation.
All the kids had to go one on one to the board and compete with one another to answer questions on the days studies. Her team lost because she lost 2 out of 2 times "at bat".
After the first loss, she got mad and refused to participate any further. They made her go a second round. IDK.
She felt stupid and was ashamed and humiliated, she is a product of an alcoholic home so this is a pretty big deal to her. She has to always be right. She is used to being the smartest kid in class, and admitted that in this "elite" class, out of 11 she's only smarter than 2. I guess it's good to know where you fall in the food chain. Sigh.
I was able to be the parent I always want to be, but often fall short of. Was able to call her to me, wrap her up in a giant hug and rock her. Told her it sounds like she had a pretty bad day, but that I wasn't worried about her that I was sure she'd be O.K.
Told her that our new family motto is "tomorrow is a whole new day".
Now to go talk to her GT teacher. What ever happens, it will unfold as it should, and "tomorrow is a whole new day".
Don't worry, I will keep my hands in my pockets!
Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote
Got a phone call last night from LMC's 4th grade teacher informing me of LMC's disruptive behavior in her GT (gifted/talented) teachers class. Not so good.
I was able to stop my initial reaction,
, and calmly ask her about what happened.I was finally able to get to the bottom of her story through her teary explanation.
All the kids had to go one on one to the board and compete with one another to answer questions on the days studies. Her team lost because she lost 2 out of 2 times "at bat".
After the first loss, she got mad and refused to participate any further. They made her go a second round. IDK.
She felt stupid and was ashamed and humiliated, she is a product of an alcoholic home so this is a pretty big deal to her. She has to always be right. She is used to being the smartest kid in class, and admitted that in this "elite" class, out of 11 she's only smarter than 2. I guess it's good to know where you fall in the food chain. Sigh.
I was able to be the parent I always want to be, but often fall short of. Was able to call her to me, wrap her up in a giant hug and rock her. Told her it sounds like she had a pretty bad day, but that I wasn't worried about her that I was sure she'd be O.K.
Told her that our new family motto is "tomorrow is a whole new day".
Now to go talk to her GT teacher. What ever happens, it will unfold as it should, and "tomorrow is a whole new day".
Don't worry, I will keep my hands in my pockets!
Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote
Awakening
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Beautiful Texas hillcountry
Posts: 1,272
Another small victory, meeting with the GT teacher went just fine, she was very nice. Saw a big beautiful dragon fly just as I was walking in, and knew HP was letting me know He had my back.
I took a post it note with my bullet points, figured out as an ACOA I'm STILL intimidated by teachers/authority figures!
Explained a little bit about LMC's history, when I got to the "she's been raised in an alcoholic home" part, she got this look and went to close her classroom door. Kinda funny to me since I don't make any bones about my past.
I told her that I was sharing this info just as an FYI and that I expected her to take what ever measures necessary to insure LMC felt "the full consequences" of her behavior. No coddling please.
Any how, I told her we seemed to be on the same page and to call me if she needed to, but I felt confident in her ability to handle LMC. She pointed out that she's only spent 4 classroom days with LMC so far this year, only 1 day a week, and they were still getting used to each other. That was a fact that had somehow escaped me.
Any way, even though I'm a big scary looking 58yo man, I feel quite "grown up" and proud of my self, and I'm not sure why.
Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote
I took a post it note with my bullet points, figured out as an ACOA I'm STILL intimidated by teachers/authority figures!
Explained a little bit about LMC's history, when I got to the "she's been raised in an alcoholic home" part, she got this look and went to close her classroom door. Kinda funny to me since I don't make any bones about my past.
I told her that I was sharing this info just as an FYI and that I expected her to take what ever measures necessary to insure LMC felt "the full consequences" of her behavior. No coddling please.
Any how, I told her we seemed to be on the same page and to call me if she needed to, but I felt confident in her ability to handle LMC. She pointed out that she's only spent 4 classroom days with LMC so far this year, only 1 day a week, and they were still getting used to each other. That was a fact that had somehow escaped me.
Any way, even though I'm a big scary looking 58yo man, I feel quite "grown up" and proud of my self, and I'm not sure why.
Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Alaska
Posts: 2,913
Yesterday, I
Today, I
- Went to my DV support group and participated in the exercise instead of asking to just listen.
- Accepted a compliment without belittling it.
- Figured out what the newly lit up light on my car's dashboard meant and took care of it on my own.
Today, I
- Spoke with a difficult customer and explained why their request was denied and why they couldn't just go and do what they wanted to do without taking their irritation personally.
- Recognized that it's a beautiful fall day and that for that moment I was not afraid and not sad.
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