Exam question: The Thanks button

Old 09-26-2010, 12:06 PM
  # 61 (permalink)  
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Maybe, not to offend, you are seeking too much affirmation from people.
You might just get annoyed that your comment doesn't get enough attention.
I think addicts can be adrenaline junkies and maybe the excitement of having loads of comments come from our remarks is what we are seeking.
Take this feeling away and I think all the answers/opinions/thoughts come out as a cumulative on the whole site?
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Old 09-26-2010, 12:13 PM
  # 62 (permalink)  
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When I first joined this forum, there was no thanks button. I don't really think it made the forum any "better" by adding it. Maybe it cut down on the responses some because many times people would just post a thanks with no additional comment. I do remember though, that there was a total under each person's name with a number of how many times they had been "thanked." Most people didn't like that and made it clear, so it was done away with. Made it seem like some kind of contest to see who could get the most "thanks."

I don't use it much because it doesn't really seem to add anything to the value of this forum. But, I do sometimes get the kind of guilt that you get when someone buys you a gift and then you feel like you should get them something, too. LOL

L
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Old 09-26-2010, 12:32 PM
  # 63 (permalink)  
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Wow 3 pages of comments on this, wonder how many needing help didn't get responses because we were busy reading this? This seems like a moot point and we all have more important things to do.

Btw Thanks!
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Old 09-26-2010, 01:31 PM
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I get enough of commenting on a particular recovery topic with a bunch of unrelated anecdotes at al-anon. Here, I prefer to comment on threads that have real-life issues, and then apply recovery ideas to those problems.

I also use the thanks button for all kinds of reasons: it was a helpful post, it was a post that must have been difficult to write, it was a self-realization that must have been difficult to come to, or, I simply don't have time to respond.

If the thanks button is hindering your recovery, then don't use it. The first thing I thought of when I read the first post and the one linked to was "bitch to brag." You're the only one who responded to that post, so you're further along in your recovery?
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Old 09-26-2010, 03:43 PM
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Originally Posted by cynical one View Post
Just to stir the pot, what would happen if a *dislike* button was added? :[]
I'd use it on this thread.


Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote
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Old 09-26-2010, 04:06 PM
  # 66 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by coyote21 View Post
I'd use it on this thread.


Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote
Just to expand on my pressing the like button for this post, I would also use a dislike button on this thread. However, I feel it would have been enough to just press like for the quoted post. I now feel I have wasted space in cyberspace, does that affect the ozone status?
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Old 09-26-2010, 10:31 PM
  # 67 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Learn2Live View Post
.... maybe one of the Mods will chime in.....
We have 70 some thousand registered members. Trying to make _everybody_ happy is physically impossible, besides we're trying to set an example of how _not_ to be a people pleaser.

On any given day we have at least _one_ person in the midst of a suicide, dozens of women in the midst of being physically abused by their spouses, hundreds of people in crisis. That's just the _registered_ members. There's about _twice_ that many who don't register, but they send us emails. Don't forget all the people who lost their spouse, child or close relatvie to this disease, _today_.

I'm not even going to start on the ones who text us on their cell phones from under the bed covers while the drunken spouse is sleeping next to them. Last night I was up till late on the phone with one, I just came home from a meet with another.

So how important is the "thanx" button in the middle of all that human pain? The only reason I stopped to post on this thread is cuz we're trying to "connect" with one of those "under the bed covers" women and I'm waiting for a reply.

And yes, sometimes people have nothing better to do with their lives and come on SR to complain and get in each other's face. That's a major distraction from more pressing issues, but we'll stop and try to keep peace in the schoolyard as much as possible. It's the public forums and the amount of compassion and kindness that are visible there which attracts the lurkers who are in fear for their lives.

I have seen what alcoholism and addiction do to innocent people in real life, other than just me. I have held people while they cry who just lost their loved one, do it at least once a month. I have had injured women stay in my home when the shelters were full, have spent days teaching them how to pay bills, work the sprinklers, check the oil in their car. I have been in the ER again and again and again when they get beat half to death. I've been to the funerals of children.

At least once a month. And there's 70 thousand people here on SR going thru that nightmare.

So what do I think about the thanx button? About people who come to SR and just mouth off at each other? I feel sorry for people who's lives are so small that that is what they spend it on. I hope someday they have some kind of awakening and become a better kind of person, one that is part of the solution instead of a distraction.

Mike
Moderator, SoberRecovery
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Old 09-27-2010, 12:52 PM
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hey bolina, if you're looking for more recovery-focussed discussion have you checked out the step study links for F&F, there's stuff on their that might be more what you're looking for?
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Old 09-27-2010, 01:00 PM
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For sure jenT. Thank you.
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