LovingMom

I have been reading over all the different threads and see myself in almost all. There is one about having to hide everything each night..yup..been there..still am. One about having to hide money in a shoe...We had quarter books for my youngest son..now the quarters are kept in a baggie in the Jeep..he has already popped them out a couple of times. I have severe back pain from an on the job injury..I have bottles of lortab that I have to hide or carry with me at all times because I found out the hard way that they are "gold" on the street. As I have read over the different threads yesterday and today I realize that I have forgotten or stuffed down so much from my kid. I have been his one constant champion..believing as I did so that only I could save him from himself..that only I understood him. That only I loved him enough. Here lately I have begun to see that loving isn't enough, believing in them isn't enough, covering for them is wrong and on and on and on. I guess that I am finally at the point that I am ready to let my little boy go..He is a man and must stand on man's feet..not toddle around in sneakers. I have to find the strength to let this happen. I know that he has no where else to go..and yet, I cannot allow him to live in my home any longer. I am tired of having to worry everytime I leave the house if he is taking what doesn't belong to him...is he going through my room again. Will I have a TV or computer when I get home. I am stopping by Home Depot today (even though I don't really have the money) and buying new locks for all the doors. A screw placed just right in a window frame keeps it from opening. (This could be bad later on...but right now I need solice). I want to sleep a full night without once waking up and checking his room to see if he came home. This can't be asking to much..and I think that I am worth it.

countrygirl

Welcome and I daresay you are in the right place. Others will give you better starting points but glad you are here and you will absolutely get information that will help you.

How old is this person?

For a start - read up on the power posts. It seems to me a long trail to follow but there is light at the end of the tunnel. It works.

TinyOne

LovingMom-

Wow! You're in a tough place. I'm sorry it's come to this but I'm glad for you and your other son that you seem to have your marbles intact. It's going to be very tough.

I just replied to another string about letting someone fall. There are detox units and rehab places that will take indigent/homeless people. He really won't be alone out there unless he chooses to be.

I don't know how big your city is but here in Pittsburgh, PA there is a place to eat lunch every single day. Different charities on different days but no homeless person goes hungry.

This is a worse case scenario. Chances are he'll find a place with a friend (with a phone) and tug on the heartstrings.

I'll be thinking of you. Best wishes.

JT

Mom,

I am glad you are here. All the things you said are true...and often helping is not helping. Our children will use us if we allow it.

My son is at home right now, but he has also slept in the street, stayed in homeless shelters and gone from friend to friend until he ran out. I have been where you are...locking windows, changing locks and sleeping fitfully because I worried.

I have worked my own recovery program for a long time and because of that I have gained the strength to do what I am doing today. That was not always true. We have to allow them to bottom out or they will never stop doing what they are doing.

I am afraid that what I am doing may confuse some. Until you yourself are strong enough to put yourself and your peace first you can never trust your decisions. And even then, in my case, I am coming here and sharing to hold my own reality up for scrutiny.

You are in good hands here. Keep reading!

Hugs,
JT