TakingCharge999

I passed my first couple of nights alone. I felt sad and cried and quickly recovered. I got no issues feeling sadness. In fact its almost like I ENJOY feeling sad. UGH! but this was good relief and I felt better. I went to but my Lindt red chocolates and have eaten one daily. Still 4 to go. I am feeling peace and am working from home today. I am feeling more focused. I am reading Language of Letting go. I am thinking about my priorities and getting excited about investing on my mental and physical health... and improving my living conditions.



I came across this website

Osho Zen Tarot

And I got this card. I thought it was a good message for others like me that finally decided they were worth peace and missed being with themselves.

Aloneness




When you are alone you are not alone, you are simply lonely - and there is a tremendous difference between loneliness and aloneness. When you are lonely you are thinking of the other, you are missing the other.

Loneliness is a negative state. You are feeling that it would have been better if the other were there - your friend, your wife, your mother, your beloved, your husband. It would have been good if the other were there, but the other is not. Loneliness is absence of the other.

Aloneness is the presence of oneself. Aloneness is very positive. It is a presence, overflowing presence. You are so full of presence that you can fill the whole universe with your presence and there is no need for anybody.

Osho The Discipline of Transcendence, Volume 1 Chapter 2
Commentary:

When there is no "significant other" in our lives we can either be lonely, or enjoy the freedom that solitude brings. When we find no support among others for our deeply felt truths, we can either feel isolated and bitter, or celebrate the fact that our vision is strong enough even to survive the powerful human need for the approval of family, friends or colleagues.

If you are facing such a situation now, be aware of how you are choosing to view your "aloneness" and take responsibility for the choice you have made.

The humble figure in this card glows with a light that emanates from within. One of Gautam Buddha's most significant contributions to the spiritual life of humankind was to insist to his disciples, "Be a light unto yourself." Ultimately, each of us must develop within ourselves the capacity to make our way through the darkness without any companions, maps or guide.

suki44883

I truly hope you will take the time to learn to actually enjoy being alone. Take this time to find out who YOU really are and what YOU really enjoy. Turn your apartment into your own private sanctuary where you can be who you are and do what you want. I promise you, once you learn to truly cherish your time alone, you won't be lonely.

HoopNinja

I agree with suki. When your physical space is a place that provides you peace and becomes a place you desire to be in by yourself-it is a wonderful feeling. When I moved the whole house was repainted and everyone got to pick out what they wanted for their rooms. The rest of the house was painted to fit the decor. My bedroom is my space. It is the place where I feel most peaceful. I am sure not everyone feels what I feel when I walk into my room-but to me it is a place the soothes my soul. I am very selfish sharing it-even with my kids-because I need a place where I can be alone.

I am sharing in your chocolate-although you are showing greater restraint than me!

Still Waters

TC - I just ate a sour patch gummy in your honor!

naive

tc...

you are growing by leaps and bounds right before my very eyes...

i would eat a chocolate in your honor but i gave it up for fresh fruit to be good to myself.

i am alone in my apartment too...and relishing it...

here's a bit of fun for you tc...

YouTube - OK Go - White Knuckles - Official Video

freebuthurting

I love that - all of it.
I am alone here - and I like it too.

Live

TC, I married very young the first time....just as soon as I turned 18 and we were together for 17 years.

I had a very hard time learning to live alone at first....it took a year....but it then became very much my strong preference.
I LOVED it! I didn't need to be lonely...I could go out and visit or be with people any time I wanted. And NEVER have others around when I didn't want.
I ate what I wanted when I wanted.
If I had a day when I just needed or wanted to lay around and read, I did that..and there was no one to walk in the door and make comments about what I hadn't gotten done around the house, comments about anything...I did or didn't do.
I could do anything with arranging the house I wanted to...didn't matter what anyone else thought about it.
It was mine and I relished in it.

I came to love my freedom almost above all else.
I still do.
Yes, I have a shared home now but I think it works because he also was a live alone person.....
We don't impinge upon each other's freedom.
There's alot of space in our togetherness and I think that is healthy. Reminds me of the poem of Kahlil Gibran's on marriage.

You are a beautiful woman with so much going for you and I believe that there is this miracle for you just right around the corner and it is going to be YOUR celebration of yourself coming into your glory.
You will fall in love with your own life, I predict and that will be full enough that you will get darn choosy about sharing your companionship in any capacity.

hugs!