so much to learn
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: New England, U.S.
Posts: 169
thank you for your responses. I appreciate your outlook and i know that my AH was trying to make ME the mommy and i've been working very hard to stop that.....I have traveled in and out of it and i finally get it!! i relate to both sides of what you mentioned too! Your perspective has really helped to validate my thoughts. I do think that the ability to release someone you love is one of the most loving things you can do for them, if that is what they require to find themselves. It is amazing that i "see" that now and just didn't before. I am not nearly as powerful as I thought i was, but that power was out of insecurity on MY part....if i could help him, then i would be important....but guess what...I AM IMPORTANT.
As far as the cat situation. I have more than two...that is the problem with the need to put some down. the ones that are not able to come with me are outdoor feral rescues that just showed up here and will require care that they will no longer receive when i am gone, so i know that the responsible thing to do is let them go too! i adore each and every one, but they are unadoptables. I have saved the 4 adoptable cats....2 have been rehomed and 2 are coming with me....the others have had a wonderful life for the past 8 years and it is the humane thing to do....breaks my heart but is also building my strength because i am facing my responsibility and not passing on my problem to anyone else. I started it and I will finish it and know they are safe and i did the best for them. It is also the end of a caretaking obsession of mine.....and my AH's. Now we can just think about our own welfare....or at least be given the time to do so, if that is our choice. I know it is mine....his...well, that will be his.
I am keeping the two oldest and least adoptable indoor guys....and i am grateful for them both! they are wonderful company. I love knowing that my idea of being with ME is a good one....i don't need the pressure either! thanks again!!
As far as the cat situation. I have more than two...that is the problem with the need to put some down. the ones that are not able to come with me are outdoor feral rescues that just showed up here and will require care that they will no longer receive when i am gone, so i know that the responsible thing to do is let them go too! i adore each and every one, but they are unadoptables. I have saved the 4 adoptable cats....2 have been rehomed and 2 are coming with me....the others have had a wonderful life for the past 8 years and it is the humane thing to do....breaks my heart but is also building my strength because i am facing my responsibility and not passing on my problem to anyone else. I started it and I will finish it and know they are safe and i did the best for them. It is also the end of a caretaking obsession of mine.....and my AH's. Now we can just think about our own welfare....or at least be given the time to do so, if that is our choice. I know it is mine....his...well, that will be his.
I am keeping the two oldest and least adoptable indoor guys....and i am grateful for them both! they are wonderful company. I love knowing that my idea of being with ME is a good one....i don't need the pressure either! thanks again!!
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