Wow who knew I would learn so much about myself
 

All stemming from my AH's alcoholism. Last night I was frantic, feeling sorry for myself raging because my AH was in the next room instead of trying to make me happier. Pelican -you couldn't have said it better today. He was off of work early had taken a shower and was home willingly. We spent the evening together as a family, there is an air of calm. He went back into my son's room to sleep. Last night I was livid. Tonight - I'm thankful for "today". It was a good day. No suspicions no games no overanalyzing why he's not here in this room with me. I've made peace with that. If he needs to hear our little guy snoring or talking in his sleep to get him through another day, I'm all for it. I'm praying he's finding the solace I am. It feels very freeing.

Your post is filled with serenity. Good on you!

Thank you for sharing!