transformyself

It's not as seductive as it sounds.

I write for a living, and one of my favorite gigs is covering local events. So i study sub-cultures. I've written about Comedians, Bands, the Huron Valley Gun Collectors Show, Burlesque, and the annual tuba concert in the park.

So, when i say all sub-cultures behave in similar ways, it's because I study them and write about them. Even the tuba players.

fourmaggie

LOL, ok that makes sense now...was ..what??! LOL

Babyblue

I posted this topic because he was laying it on pretty thick lately.

I ate it up.
Fell for it,
believed it (or at least wanted to so much).

But they are just words. Now I feel like sort of an idiot for thinking he had some capacity to care back in the state he is in. I 'know' better. He has again gone silent (for obvious reasons, i.e. drinking) and here I sit.

Seemed like years ago he said all those nice things. I've said this before and I'll say it again, it is like loving a ghost.

I want my sweet and sober guy back but I don't know how long or what it will take to see him again. All I know is my life goes on. It is like standing on a dock and watching a ship sail off and it goes farther and farther into the distance.

Sorry, I am just very sad. The person he really is without the booze would hate to know what his other self is doing to me. I hate that I am doing this to myself.

steve1840

this is how i feel: she loves me, buthte addiction is stronger. she'd love to be free of it and have a normal life with me, but can't do it. yes, there is manipulation to get what she needs/wants, but there is also some remorse in her when she gets it. no one deserves to be an addict, but it is sad when nice people get pulled under by this. maybe that goes for me too.

steve1840

this is my fear if my gf goes through rehab, but i am willing to accept that if she stays clean.