AH lost his license again

Old 09-19-2010, 09:02 AM
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AH lost his license again

I need an ear to listen…

So to make a long story as short as possible…my AH maintained sobriety for almost 9 years. Unfortunately prior to that time he did get 2 DUI’s and lost his license for 5 years. He never did get his license back at the 5 yr mark due to financial situations b/c of insurance costs and b/c he was required to get an ignition interlock device. Finally we got his license restored last October and got the ignition interlock device installed. Things were finally back on the right path till this January. AH returned to drinking in January of this year. He had a very bad spell one weekend when I was out of town and apparently tried to start his car, which of course wouldn’t start due to his machine. He doesn’t even remember why he tried to start his car b/c he was at home and had access to another car to drive if he really wanted to. Needless to say he got a letter from the DMV that he will lose his license at the end of the month. He just told me about this today and told me that he wrote a letter back requesting a hearing. Since that one weekend in August he has gotten sober and is back to AA meetings everyday. However, he does realize that he now must pay the consequences for his actions.

I’m struggling on how to deal with this. My AH is a stay at home dad and has responsibilities for driving our two kids to preschool and school. He is on the right path currently but I still don’t trust him. If he loses his license his ignition interlock device will be de-installed and that just personally makes me even more scared that he could possibly relapse and get behind the wheel. Also, he won’t be able to drive to his AA classes. I’m so tired of his actions affecting our lives and struggling how to handle this latest obstacle.
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Old 09-19-2010, 09:24 AM
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What can you do to help you and your kids that does not rely on him?
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Old 09-19-2010, 09:29 AM
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He was drunk, thus, he hopped in the wrong car. This is good, one less drunk driver on the road.

Perhaps you can find someone in the neighborhood to drive your children to school. As for his AA meetings, he can take a bus or walk there. That is his problem.

Personally, I would not let him drive my children anywhere. He has only been sober for a few weeks, hardly long enough to entrust him with your children.

What about hiring a nanny? Have him get a job to pay for the nanny. Problem eliminated.
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Old 09-19-2010, 10:10 AM
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It sounds like AH will not be able to drive the kids. Which is just as well because you don't trust him not to drink and drive with them. I can only see two options: Drive them yourself or arrange for alternative transportation for them. There are plenty of people I'm sure who will take him to his meetings. But I suggest letting HIM figure that out. HE is responsible for his own recovery, not you. I personally would not offer to drive him.
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