froglegs

Hi everyone,


Haven't been around in awhile. Just wanted to pop in and say hello and give everyone an update. My divorce was final on August 23rd. Things could not be better in my life, and it is amazing the clarity, serenity and happiness I feel now that I have removed myself and my children from an unhealthy relationship. I never really realized how dysfunctional my life had become until I stepped away from it all. I can sleep at night now knowing that my AH's behavior is no longer any of my concern. It is so freeing to live life on my own terms, and not have to deal with the day to day worry. Getting a divorce was the best thing I have ever done for myself and my family. I smile more, I laugh more...I am the me that I used to know again, and it is such a wonderful feeling.

I met a really great guy about 2 months ago. He is the total opposite of my EXAH, he is kind, caring, responsible and treats me with respect and care. I am taking things very slow, and sometimes it is hard for me because this person is very self sufficient, has a good job, wakes himself up everyday (lol) takes care of his business, pays his bills and does everything he says he is going to do. It was a little awkward at first because I wasn't sure what I could bring to the relationship...clearly he needed nothing from me, there is nothing to fix, so I had to get used to that..I am just enjoying his company, and keeping the focus on me and my kids...what a great feeling.

I probably won't be around much anymore...I have been a member here almost 5 years, and during this time I have gotten wonderful advice, made great friends, and learned a lot about myself. I wanted to say thank you to everyone and wish everyone well in their relationships. Follow your heart and find the strength to do what is best for you. I am finally free!

((Hugs)))

cmc

Hey froglegs!
Thanks for the update, it's great to hear from you. Congrats on making such a wonderful new life for yourself & the kids. Best wishes for much happiness.

Still Waters

Wonderful! Thanks so much for letting us know about your happy ending!

kiki5711

7

Bernadette

sometimes it is hard for me because this person is very self sufficient, has a good job, wakes himself up everyday (lol) takes care of his business, pays his bills and does everything he says he is going to do. It was a little awkward at first because I wasn't sure what I could bring to the relationship...clearly he needed nothing from me, there is nothing to fix, so I had to get used to that..I am just enjoying his company, and keeping the focus on me and my kids...what a great feeling.

Wow this is so insightful! It's amazing how low our standards are when we are in a dysfunctional relationship! My BF said when we first started dating "Man your exH really set the bar low!" when I would be so impressed with like, him showing up on time, running an errand for me, listening and remembering things I said, bringing me flowers or a book he knew I might like! I used to get so excited about that normal thoughtful behavior.

Thanks for the update! Continued serenity to you!!
Peace-
B

froglegs

Bernadette,

I feel the exact same way. My bf says the same thing...His favorite line is "I don't do anything for you that a person in a relationship would do for someone else" but to me it's HUGE! To actually follow through, or be thoughtful or ask if I am hot or cold, or what do I need or want...that's just mind blowing to me sometimes. Very sad that it is though. It is amazing what we think is "normal" in a codie relationship, isn't it.

groybin

You all are giving me HOPE! Thanks for the encouraging posts...

I want to someday soon say something just like that

transformyself

Thank you for sharing your story. I want that!