Erica1972

The last few weeks have been some of the hardest I can ever remember....The hurt I have felt over losing my mother in law over something so stupid has been hard....A different kind of pain than a husband....It hurts differently...but just as deeply.....

We work in the same office a couple of days a week....
The first couple of times I avoided her like the plague....But yesterday, I decided to enjoy my day at work as if she wasn't there..

She is doing the best she can with the information she has been given...From her lying husband...and she would not even listen to me...but that is okay...People are just people....We all have to learn lessons in our own time. So, I won't retaliate ....I wont tell the things I know she has done....I will defend myself if necessary....

This whole experience has taught me alot about myself...and maybe that was what God had planned the whole time....I know what I don't want to be....I have talked with my ex about the mean things that I did to him when he was drinking....He understands....but I don't want to be that kind of person.....Two wrongs don't make a right....

So now my grandson has lost two grandparents that he adored...but that is their loss...I left them a message saying that my son would love to spend time with them...and I haven't heard from them.....That, I am still struggling with, but it will be okay.....I will still invite them to his bday parties....

Bottom line....this has made me think about the kind of person I want to be....Integrity...I want it....

DesertEyes

Hello Erica, and pleased to "meet" you

oh goodness that resonates with me. When I first starting attending al-anon meets I heard people say that they are "a grateful member of al-anon". I could _not_ understand why anybody would be grateful to go thru so much pain, to watch a loved one self-destruct.

I just had the wrong perspective.

Just like you said, I have learned so much about me and what used to motivate me. I was so blind to the real reasons for why I was doing things. I am not all the way out of the woods yet, but I'm making progress

Me too. And my grandkids have a grandpa that is much saner, and a much better role model than I used to be. I think that is much more valuable to my little ones.

Mike