How I got HERE...
 

I was completing a vocabulary activity with my class today and the word I was working on with them was realistic. Then it hit me as I was thinking about the word...odd time I knw. I certainly was NOT realistic about who my AH was before I married. Truth be told, my AH is today who he was before we got married. When I married him, I married what my version of who a youth minister should be - not who he actually was. I married him - thru my own codependency because of who I thought he should be not as he is. Strange as I think about it, because who hhe is didn't really change....I just always founnd an excuse in my mind for his behavior...afterall he is a youth minister....he certainly couldn't actually be behaving that way. Bizarre....that I could look at something in such an surreal way...and somehow believe what I knew about him wasn't true and that really underneath was that youth minster great guy. I am kind of shocked and embarassed to admit this....but today I REALIZED how true it is! This is something I now really am thinking about WHY did I do this?? I knew better, but I did it anyway???

I have a dear friend who is very religous. She just cannot understand why a good christen does this or that, which she considers is wrong.

She may be right, their behavior is wrong, however, they are just humans, they have their own personalities and religion really cannot change that.

Sometimes our views are clouded by our religous beliefs.

Just my thoughts.

I understand. Oh, boy, do I understand.
It's as though I say/see "this is the data, these are the facts, the reality, BUT..."
I think I better stop EVER saying "but"....

I know, isn't it weird when the fog begins to part and you begin to see the truth? And you see that your mind was on some other planet the whole time? Blows your mind, doesn't it? Ahhhh...clarity. It's hard to get that without peace & serenity. Are you there?

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