Trying to Figure It Out...
 

My husband has been in recovery for 7 years. I met him 4 years ago and we married 2 years ago. When I first met him, he was really into his recovery and went to meetings every week. He had a lot of patience and was focused on living God's will and being truthful.

Over time, he has been going to less and less meetings - for awhile only 1 per month. Lately, he's been back to meetings more steady. His personality has changed tremendously. He gets angry and unreasonable on a daily basis. For example, tonight he yelled at me for cutting up a watermelon for dinner...."it's got too much sugar and shouldn't be served.".....really yelled. I've caught myself trying to second guess ways I can remove situations that will set him off....he has little patience and has also gotten quite manipulative.

I am wondering if these changes are a sign of his recovery slipping...or if that is just part of living with a recovering addict....I am struggling with figuring out if our marriage has a chance. Any thought? I can't find any information on dealing with those who have been in recovery for awhile...

Hi realperson :welcome
There could be many reasons why he is irritable and snappy, some related to alcohol and some not. I think first he should probably be checked out by a doctor. I find it interesting he is blowing up about watermelon because diabetes can cause mood swings like that. Has he had his sugar and/or blood pressure checked lately?

Perhaps you suspect he has relapsed? If so, I always advise folks to trust their instincts. Do what you need to do to take care of you FIRST. (((hugs)))

not a relapse...
 

No. I don't think or suspect that he has relapsed. Part of me suspects depression or something like that or if he has just slipped and needs to re-work the steps or if he is just going to be a negative, manipulative, angry person....

I don't know if I am strong enought to continually deal with someone who is pushing boundaries.....

He had bloodwork recently and diabetes isn't a problem.

Welcome to the forum.

Sorry for the reason, though.

And it does sound like he's in some kind of crisis-place.

It could be bills, could be something happened he's not telling you -
but it sounds like a classic 'dry-drunk'.

a/k/a 'stinkin thinkin'.

have you talked to him?