When They Are on The Fence
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: PM me
Posts: 324
When They Are on The Fence
Hello,
I was working no contact. I recently
allowed myself to be free for contact, but I understand that its in their hands.
I guess in a sense, they are all perpetually "on the fence" about seeking help. But what do u say to someone who thinks about going, but is scared and uncomfortable about going?
What is the best way to encourage someone who goes back and forth with that initial step of getting help?
Hopefully this isn't silly to ask, as I understand everyone is kind of in the same boat...
I was working no contact. I recently
allowed myself to be free for contact, but I understand that its in their hands.
I guess in a sense, they are all perpetually "on the fence" about seeking help. But what do u say to someone who thinks about going, but is scared and uncomfortable about going?
What is the best way to encourage someone who goes back and forth with that initial step of getting help?
Hopefully this isn't silly to ask, as I understand everyone is kind of in the same boat...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: PM me
Posts: 324
Ah thanks for posting Suki, yes.
I reblocked his ass bcause he was being a jerk after I gently tried to talk about it....like I said in the same thread I have goin in f&f for substance, looks like he's not so much on the fence. I always like to hear about ppl's bottoms, b.c they are always so different...
I know he thinks about it, but that don't mean SHITTTT.
I reblocked his ass bcause he was being a jerk after I gently tried to talk about it....like I said in the same thread I have goin in f&f for substance, looks like he's not so much on the fence. I always like to hear about ppl's bottoms, b.c they are always so different...
I know he thinks about it, but that don't mean SHITTTT.
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Mary, the alkie I knew also said to me once "I should stop drinking so much"
2 years later he is drinking the same or more.
It means nothing... we need to focus on other things...good for them if they become better people but I am not betting on it. Its as if my first boyfriend hoped I had self esteem, it took a long string of "partners" and bad experiences in my life to *START* thinking I may be looking at life with distorted glasses... and I still got a long way towards health and self esteem... it is the same with "them". It can take decades, if it ever happens at all.
2 years later he is drinking the same or more.
It means nothing... we need to focus on other things...good for them if they become better people but I am not betting on it. Its as if my first boyfriend hoped I had self esteem, it took a long string of "partners" and bad experiences in my life to *START* thinking I may be looking at life with distorted glasses... and I still got a long way towards health and self esteem... it is the same with "them". It can take decades, if it ever happens at all.
Sunny Side Up
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Sth Australia
Posts: 3,802
Mary, he may not be ready for help yet. He also may need more info about what options he has. It is a scary, anxious time and his doctor may be able to provide info and support there.
Good Luck JJ
Good Luck JJ
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