The Message.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Toronto
Posts: 79
The Message.
This is the message I just sent to my three adult children.
Hi.
I just came from seeing your Mother at Grandma’s. She has been beaten up pretty bad, stitches, burns, scars and swelling. We need to accept that she will not be alive much longer. Grandma is trying to get her to stop drinking long enough to get into a program, Friday, but I don’t think it’s going to happen. The alcohol has caused her to be bloated and swollen and her organs are starting to shut down. I am very sorry. I love you very much.
Dad.
I will have two years of sobriety on the 17th of September. I stopped alone. My wife of 24 years kept going.
Hi.
I just came from seeing your Mother at Grandma’s. She has been beaten up pretty bad, stitches, burns, scars and swelling. We need to accept that she will not be alive much longer. Grandma is trying to get her to stop drinking long enough to get into a program, Friday, but I don’t think it’s going to happen. The alcohol has caused her to be bloated and swollen and her organs are starting to shut down. I am very sorry. I love you very much.
Dad.
I will have two years of sobriety on the 17th of September. I stopped alone. My wife of 24 years kept going.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Toronto
Posts: 79
I enabled for so many years, the guilt is horrible. I know I have been forgiven by my Creator but it still hurts like hell to see someone you have spent over half your life with dieing and you are powerless.
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
I always thought that my XABF's path was eventual sobriety and it was just a matter of time and wear and tear before that sobriety came. I never thought he'd be someone who would just suffer and die from the disease.
With recovery, I came to make the same realization as you-that not every alcoholic's path is eventual sobriety. Acceptance of this was hard for me and still is. I still carry hope that I will see him sober and well someday despite his vows to "go down hard," whatever that means.
I am so sorry you are having to watch this happen to the mother of your children. Do you have to have a ringside seat?
Congratulations on your upcoming 2 years of sobriety!!
Alice
With recovery, I came to make the same realization as you-that not every alcoholic's path is eventual sobriety. Acceptance of this was hard for me and still is. I still carry hope that I will see him sober and well someday despite his vows to "go down hard," whatever that means.
I am so sorry you are having to watch this happen to the mother of your children. Do you have to have a ringside seat?
Congratulations on your upcoming 2 years of sobriety!!
Alice
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Toronto
Posts: 79
I only went to try to convince her to go to treatment, she has been kicked out from her Mom's and I don't know where she will stay tonight, not "helping" is the hardest thing I have ever done, my head knows it's right but holy crap it hurts...
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
I'm very sorry you're experiencing this.
But I feel the need to point out -
you're experiencing it ... sober.
You're facing life on life's terms.
And you sound quite stable through it all.
For that - give yourself a momentary hug.
Prayers flying up for you, and for peace in this situation.
But I feel the need to point out -
you're experiencing it ... sober.
You're facing life on life's terms.
And you sound quite stable through it all.
For that - give yourself a momentary hug.
Prayers flying up for you, and for peace in this situation.
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