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All In the Family

Old 08-30-2010, 11:30 PM
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All In the Family

Well I was talking to my cousin, who happens to be a social worker, about my father. She asked how things were around the house, and they have been crazy lately so I told her. She asked why, and was it a two way street, am I provoking him etc. I said I'm sure it goes two ways because he is an alcoholic who refuses to change, and I'm not properly dealing with my resentment and am still trying to detatch. She said that she doesn't think he is truly addicted because at my grandmother's wake he told her that he had gone a week without drinking. She said that this proves that he is not truly addicted, and also because he does not shake, have seizures, and other withdrawal symptoms. I got so frustrated the only thing I could do was end the conversation.

I don't understand how someone who specializes in helping other people wouldn't know more about alcoholism in general. I can't say I know much about social work, but I thought that they would have at least touched on the subject. It seemed like all she was doing was shooting me rationalizations. Then I began to wonder if maybe she had an alcohol problem herself, and if this is why. I always see her with a drink in her hands at family functions, never have I not. I'm going on a family trip soon and was a little nervous and her advice was to have a few drinks, as it always calms her nerves. It just really stands out to me, but maybe because I seem to be unintentionally holding people under a microscope lately...
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Old 08-31-2010, 05:40 AM
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Unless she specializes in addiction, she may not understand alcoholism.

I went to my friend (social worker) when I seperated from my active alcoholic. She gave me the "it's a disease, you wouldn't leave someone with cancer" speech. I gave her the facts on alcoholism. She then admitted she had not studied addiction/alcoholism and she was repeating a phrase she had heard used by others. We agreed the best resource for support when dealing with alcoholism was Alanon meetings and SR. She was still able to offer me support, friendship and grief counseling.

Also, my friend was one of my drinking pals years ago. We had lost contact. She was not aware of the way alcoholism had spiraled out of control in our family.
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Old 08-31-2010, 10:10 AM
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. She said that she doesn't think he is truly addicted because at my grandmother's wake he told her that he had gone a week without drinking. She said that this proves that he is not truly addicted, and also because he does not shake, have seizures, and other withdrawal symptoms.

This sounds like the dribble that my stbxah spews all the time. Let me tell you from first hand experience. You can be addicted and go without for a week and not have any seizures, or DT's, or withdrawl symptoms. I have done it. I don't drink anymore, but I was a 10 beer a day drinker at one time and I never once had withdrawl or DT's when I went without. This is his excuse as to why he is not an alcoholic. But for some reason he was always yelling at me that I was. You make your own determination, but I was addicted to alcohol. And so is my stbxah.
You may be on the right track with this lady, she may be making excuses for herself, just saying it out loud to you. H
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Old 08-31-2010, 12:49 PM
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Sounds like that darn "raw prawn" is doing the rounds, trying to BS to everybody.
I feel it is highly possible that she does have a drink problem herself, and also knows little about addiction. At least you can see the truth, even if you can't do much about it.

God bless
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