Erica1972

Okay..here goes...BTW...thank you all for your advice about my beach ordeal...All went well...My ex and I actually got along fairly well...

My trouble today is...ugh...My ex father in law tried to kiss me....I love my mother in law very much....Do I tell her? I can't believe he did this...I pushed him away and locked the doors.....This happened two days ago....He is a cheater...she knows this, but to try and kiss me???? wow...She has been through so much with him...They have been married like 30 years or something....I don't want to hurt her, but I would want to know....

I still can't believe this happened...

firestorm090

If you ever suspect he'll try that again, I'd recommend eating a bunch of onions right before he tries it, that'll teach him, lol.

Seriously, I don't know if I'd tell her, if she knows how he is, and has been with him for 30 yrs, would telling her help at all?

wicked

I agree with firestorm.
keep it to yourself, but stay away from him.
it is jerry springer, just don't put yourself on the stage.

Lola1024

After 30 years she knows and continues to stay with him. Frankly adding your story to the mix will probably give you more grief than it will do anything good. I would be silent but make it crystal clear to him that he is never to come near you again. Gross.

barb dwyer

How revolting. I'm so sorry this has to happen.. to anyone.


Moments like that are when I most regret we can't throw up at will.

A good spontaneous vomiting would get the point across.

Actually, just f2f bottom line:

'get the $#)(*@ away from me and never NEVER touch me"

works sometimes.

But wouldn't it be great to just yak all over the guy?

Heh. 'Splain THAT one, Desi" LOL!



when done right - can scare the begeebers out of them.

Suzie12

Bugger, how stupid of him to do that. I would hiss at him "do that again and I tell your wife". Hope he keeps at a distance from you in future. I dont think it a good idea to tell his wife at this point as she will be wary of you afterwards and uncomfortable being around you .

Suzie x

Jadmack25

Why not tell it how it is? If he is near you again, let him know, "do not come near me, I think you are just a pathetic creep and you make me want to spew. Keep away or you will lose your shrivelled up nuts."

I was groped by a friend's husband, and that was my little speech to him, accompanied by looks of disgust and flashing eyes. He fled the scene, and kept well away from me.

God bless

Still Waters

I'm with Jadmack, if he ever got near me again I'd tell him what a scumbag he was and that if he even made a move towards me I'd scream to high heaven and no one would be able to ignore what a piece of crud he was.

coyote21

If it were me, I believe I'd tell my axh instead, then sit back and enjoy THAT show. Ah, good times.

I know...... I've got this little mean streak.

But, seriously, she doesn't want to know this.

Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote

Erica1972

lol...I did tell my stbxh....And yes they argued...It was enjoyable...

But I think too many people know...and that has been my fault....I think my mother in law will find out eventually....from somebody...Shouldn't that be from me? Instead of having someone slip up a year from now? She is still like a mother to me....I really truly want to do what's right....I hate the thought of hurting her ...

firestorm090

You didn't hurt her, he did and should have been smacked across the room.

You haven't done anything wrong here, so I'd let it go and he will eventually reap what he's sown.

Erica1972

well...I didn't have to tell her.....My ex father in law told her his version of the truth.....And I got a nasty email from her.....My heart is broken.....She pretty much blamed me...Saying that we were both drunk and slobbering all over eachother.....I was sober.....So...it's okay for her husband to try and kiss other people is he is drunk? Wow.....I know I have to let this go....I can't change any of this....It just hurts

Carol Star

She knows the truth........I would email her back I wasn't drinking and she was mistaken.....then let it go

MissFixit

I am sorry to read what she wrote, but as soon as I read your post, I thought that might happen.

She is married to him and apparently wants to be. She has to "believe" him or at least go along with the party line that justifies her staying w him in order to survive in her situation. No matter how much she cares for you, she is married to him. There is more at stake w him than w you.

I would not recommend emailing her back. Let it sit and see if another contact is made. If you don't engage, that sends a message that you are not stooping down to that level. Also, I would not be around that man again if you can help it.

velma929

I wouldn't have told..but she knows anyway.

The only way she can save face is to blame the other woman, in this case you.

That's the only way she can stay with this man...other women just throw themselves at him, and he tells her it's not his fault he attracts them.

(eye roll)

Bucyn

And add that you are sorry she has to deal with these problems, it must be very hard.

Jadmack25

There are none so blind, as they who will not see. None of it your fault, and sorry hon, but I figure she is as much to blame as he is....as she blames the girls and he gets away free. Maybe this is part of where you AH's problems spring from, as it could be dad has been a lecher for many years and MIL has blamed everyone but him for it. Lesson learnt by AH was that was how it is, and he expects not to be blamed for his misbehaviors with drink.

Treat it as a sharp learning curve, for yourself and let it go, as if she does get back to friendly at some time, you won't know when she will turn agin you again.

God bless

coffeedrinker

I'm sorry this happened. So awful to be surrounded with people who are existing in an alternate universe.

In Callie's recent thread someone mentioned that when we associate with certain people, we may be pulled into some ugly stuff. It's not that we deserve it, but we have unwittingly put ourselves in the line of fire.

Maybe the x mother-in-law isn't such the beautiful person you had thought her to be. Continue to seek out healthy, decent people - this will be behind you soon.

Erica1972

You all are so brilliant....I sent a final email to her this morning saying that I love and care about her very much...and she can call me if she wants to talk about this...I'm leaving it at that.....


I am seeing a dynamic to this family that I hadn't noticed before....They probably have added to the disfunction of all four of the kids....One is depressed...One an overeater....one drinker/drug user and a pot smoker....

yes...this will be behind me soon.....I'm trying to figure out the lesson I need to learn here....

Have a good day everyone and thanks so much....

silkspin

Years ago I was at a house party and found my sister's bf cheating on her with another girl. I didn't tell her, I told him that I knew, and that he had to come clean with her or I would. Faced with the decision, he owned up and told her.

And she got mad at me. I was the destroyer of their relationship because I rocked her boat. Understandable. It was a gut reaction when faced with the loss of someone she loved - easier to target me, the messenger so to speak. Needless to say that we are still best friends and that boyfriend is long history. Time will tell, maybe ex-mil, once she has a chance to process her feelings, will eventually come to see things differently. She may not. But don't take it personally - her world has been shattered and she's trying to cope. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Let the fault lie squarely with the one to whom it belongs.