BklynGrl

I've been living with my dad for three weeks now since leaving AH and last night I came to the conclusion that my Dad is also an A. Luckily enough I don't feel all the same stuff that I feel with H. I don't have anger or resentment. If anything I have compassion for him. I guess that's because I haven't been living with him for years and I won't have to spend the rest of my life living with him either. If anything it's just a really sad realization.

ChrrisT

That's so sad Brklyn.

Keep yourself save - I mean - don't get pulled in, same rules apply.

Hugs to you from the other side of the Outerbridge Crossing

Bernadette

Accepting that someone we love and care for is an alcoholic is a real sad blow.
I like what Chrris said - same rules apply as w/ BF.

I grew up surrounded by As. (dad, 3 bros, uncles, cousins, friends) It took me a long time to realize there was only one way to cope (for me):
To take care of myself - and work the recovery I wish they were working!

When you were growing up was your dad drinking? An alcoholic parent pre-disposes us to a lot of unhealthy habits of mind.....some of the biggest strides I made in my codie recovery was when I went to some ACOA AlAnon meetings, did some ACOA workbooks and talked about it in therapy. Boy was that eye-opening!

((((((hugs))))))
peace
B

BklynGrl

Hard to say if he was an alcoholic back then too. I feel like I've always had a very healthy relationship with both of my parents. Over the past few years I've definitely noticed that when we get together he's always drinking and pretty drunk by the end of the night. But I sort of wrote that off to the fact that it was usually a celebration. Then when my mom died in April of 09 I saw it happening more and more because we were spending more time together, but again I discounted it due to the grief. But now that I'm living there and after everything that's gone on with AH it's so obvious too me. I wonder how many more A's I'm going to discover in my life now??

PS I just started going Al- anon and I get it the concepts but I'm still struggling with it. I always feel like an outsider. I'm not very good in social situations and hate the end of the meeting. It seems like everyone gets up and talks with everyone else. I usually just leave since I don't have anyone to talk to. I know that's more about my social phobia than anything else but it still makes me uncomfortable.