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Rough Day and Realizations....

Old 08-24-2010, 07:54 PM
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Rough Day and Realizations....

Today my baby had his 4month check up at the dr. AH was there with me and we discovered something that suggest my son might need surgery. So, I really felt like crying, however I didn't...and why because I knew that my AH would not be there to wrap his arms around me and tell me it is ok, I knew that he was to busy trying to blame this problem on something. His first comment was what if I hadn't told the dr what I noticed - would he have missed it. Then he asked me how we could have prevented it. I tried to explain the whole thing to him 10 times - none of which he really listened to. Even with this is was like talking to a wall. He came to the house and hung out with the kids a while then left begrudgingly - and wrote obviously I overstayed my welcome blah...blah...blah. My response, which was true was that my mood had nothing to do with him..I was worried about my baby. TO which he responded...and I wasn't? And I sent back that I never said that I was just telling him how I feel.....whatever. I realize he is having feelings about this thing with our son too, but I feel like I have noone to turn to...no arms to cry in....I guess that is an exact sign of how bad our relationship had gotten and perhaps always was. Please pray for my son, I find out tomorrow what is going to happen.
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Old 08-24-2010, 08:05 PM
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I'm sorry you're hurting, Moni. I am praying for your baby and the rest of you. Huge hugs.
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Old 08-24-2010, 08:11 PM
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Me too.

My grandson was born with a genetic heart defect.
Sooner or late he will have to have open heart surgery.
That tears me up. But he is 9 now and has beat the odds and is still growing strong.

sending hugs
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Old 08-24-2010, 08:17 PM
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Originally Posted by FreeingMyself View Post
. So, I really felt like crying, however I didn't...

but I feel like I have noone to turn to...no arms to cry in....I guess that is an exact sign of how bad our relationship had gotten and perhaps always was. Please pray for my son, I find out tomorrow what is going to happen.
((((Moni))))

I'm sorry you feel you don't have anyone to comfort you.

You go ahead and cry if you need to.
It's okay if the other children hear you cry.
My friend had to teach me to let my children hear my crying. It's okay for my children to know I am crying. Adults do feel sad, hurt and need to cry.
By letting them hear me cry, I am teaching them to express their feelings without stuffing them them away.

You are a good mom!

Sending prayers to you and your children.
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Old 08-24-2010, 08:19 PM
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Praying for you too and the wee one. Although not on the same level, my darling 3 yr old tripped and fell onto the toilet seat on Friday, tooth going right through her lip. We spent several hours in emerg and initially it was horrifying, so much blood welling from her mouth. Needles and stitches. I hated the way AH was at the hospital. My bro in law ended up with us to get a ride home from downtown and he was playing with her, asking if I needed anything, and AH just kind of sat around, let her play with his iphone unless he was checking it. At one point bought some hard peanuty snack and started eating right in front of her - she couldn't it was too hard and she was about to get stitches so mouth had to be clear, but of course daddy what's that can i have some - I just wanted to pound him for being such a selfish jerkoff.

He did admit to being nauseous during the stitching but otherwise seemed more inconvenienced by the whole thing. He'd just gotten home from downtown and we had to go again and he had to eat his dinner in the car. Boo effin hoo. It's about her not you. And of course all I wanted was some love and support, like you, but at this point anyway it's like going to the hardware store for bread. I have no solution but know how you feel. Take care of yourself, love yourself and your baby right now.
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Old 08-24-2010, 08:32 PM
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Freeingmyself,

I will be thinking of you and your little guy, with prayers going up! You are a good momma, and I wish you'd had some nice strong arms to hold you, when you needed them.

Sending healing thoughts and prayers, and keep us posted.

((((big hug)))))
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Old 08-24-2010, 08:53 PM
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Prayers for your baby...and for you, m'dear. (((Hugs)))
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Old 08-25-2010, 07:53 AM
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I will be thinking of you and your little one, sending positive thoughts and prayers.
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Old 08-25-2010, 09:14 AM
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Hi Freeing

A parent's nightmare, I am so sorry.

I don't know if you know this but... you can hug and cry all over your little baby boy. Of course he won't mind and Momma's tears are blessed with healing powers. It's proven really

Don't waste your energy on that AH. You will need all your strength for your baby.

My thoughts are with you

Big cyber hug

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Old 08-25-2010, 09:26 AM
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I'm sorry to hear about your little boy's potential surgery

We had discovered my son was going to be born with some defects via an ultrasound. I PANICKED of course because he wasn't even born. My only saving grace was to educate myself on everything and have a team of specialists on hand when he was born. He ended up having severe club feet, torticollis, seven surgeries. I'm happy to report that my 10 year old is a happy, healthy 5th grader and he calls his scar war wounds (and he says he wants to impress the ladies with them lol) You will get through this, you gave birth to that precious little one, and I KNOW you can get through this. If you need support, hug your little guy, wrap your arms around learning about the surgery become informed, that helped comfort me. Move forward concentrate on your little guy. If your AH comes along for the ride, fine, if not, you will be fine. Stay strong and keep us posted, I will pray for your little guy and you. Take care....
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Old 08-25-2010, 09:26 AM
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Sending you a big :ghug3 and keeping you and your son in my thoughts. Hang in there...
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Old 08-25-2010, 11:18 AM
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Prayers and good thoughts for you and your little one - praying that all is healed quickly!

As far as getting the emotional comfort and support we need - when living in a situation where I was unable to get that from my mate - I found a "God blanket" and I wrapped that blanket around me and pretended it was God's arms around me - holding me and telling me that He loved me and was going to take care of all my pain, fears and worries!

It helped get me thru some really difficult times!

PINK HUGS to you!

Rita
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Old 08-25-2010, 12:24 PM
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Any news Freeingmyself?
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Old 08-25-2010, 08:36 PM
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No news today...Xray's didn't show anything, but found out they are not a good indicator for the problem. So, being refered to a neurosurgeon...just gonna keep living life and loving my little one for now!
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Old 08-30-2010, 08:31 AM
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[QUOTE=FreeingMyself;2690055]Today my baby had his 4month check up at the dr. AH was there with me and we discovered something that suggest my son might need surgery.


How is your baby doing? Is he ok? Praying for you and him. H
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Old 08-30-2010, 07:18 PM
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They scheduled my son w/the neurosurgeon on Oct. 12th, but I feel this is to far away! I am going to call my pediatrician and discuss this with him...my son has no developmental delays...so I doubt the time will matter...but I really want answers and want to know the outcome. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers!
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Old 08-30-2010, 07:43 PM
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*prayers offering up*
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Old 08-31-2010, 09:42 AM
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Hugs and support FreeingMyself. How are you doing?

PS Live, my girlfriend here has a cousin, I met her a few weeks ago. She had a genetic defect in the heart and they had waited until now to perform the surgery because it was high risk (she is 17 now). She had the surgery, it was a success and now she is living life as if nothing happened! even when facing serious conditions there is hope.
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Old 09-01-2010, 03:19 AM
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Sending you all hugs, Freeing, and wishing you strength.
Dear Son had dental surgery a while back - I recall sitting in the waiting room, book in hand unread, coffee untouched, worrying about the risks, the outcome.... Then feeling the greatest release as the worry and pressure lifted when the doctor came out with a smile on his face to say DS did wonderfully and should wake from the anesthesia soon, follow him.
Hang in there. Hugs, hugs, hugs.
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Old 09-01-2010, 03:53 AM
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As if you didn't have enough to cope with, now comes this load, and AH is as much use as teats on a wooden bull.
Have you in my arms and heart and prayers heading upward.

My eldest was diagnosed with Pyloric Stenosis at 1 month old, after damn near starving to death, thanks to dipstick Doctor and weighed 2 lb under her birth weight. We were told she had a 10% chance, which terrified us both. Op went well and she recovered so fast, thank God and I had a very loving and supportive husband back then, so I can't imagine going thru this virtually alone.

Well, not alone as you see from the posts here, full of love, support and prayer.

God bless you both.
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