OT invited to a wedding in the beach ... 2 questions for ou
 

So one of my best friends, a really Zen and great guy I met in a previous job, is getting married in Huatulco a really nice beach.

An ex is going. :whoop Well we hated each other for a while, but later were able to exchange some emails and bring some peace.

Of course TC999 codie side is anxious about "what he will think" and "who he will bring". Hopefully I am more at peace with him and his life but I still feel unhealthy curiosity.

First philosophical question: why do I feel I am a loser if I take the plane alone? I was thinking on inviting girl friends but the hotel is expensive and the place far away from the city so I don't think its a possibility - I'll give it a shot anyway-

Second -more practical- question: what does one wear to an afternoon wedding in a hotel by the beach? long? cocktail dress? I haven't been to many weddings and I have no idea. I only know WHITE and BLACK are forbidden (although I have seen ppl wear black..). I worry about being too formal - or too informal..

I was also wondering about going alone and got sad but then I remembered a few other great friends are going (unfortunately they are all male friends so I can't ask them about dresses lol) and that it can be a good chance for me to have a hotel room for myself, do whatever I wish, and get vacations from everything and everybody. The airplane fare is $350 USD, and "coincidentally" I am getting a bonus this month for vacations.

Maybe God wants me to have a break from my daily stressors... then I think "even there I will probably run by ex+gf while I try to hide my cellulite"

Sheesh. Thanks for your support.

PS Maybe I go and stay as long as necessary then keep saving so I can go somewhere else that is really away from it all.... like that yoga retreat I really look forward to going when I turn 30 in about 1.5 years...

PSS I suspect there are grammatical/spelling errors in my subject... sorry!

More philosophical questions to self: why am I not a normal person who thinks "wow great" and has a good time and keeps on with their life ? where did I learn everything is a menace? why do I feel I need to "demonstrate" something?

Today: Melody Beatty night read.

Say it with me: "WOW! GREAT!"

Traveling alone can be a lot of fun - you do what YOU want to do, when YOU want to do it! Learn about the area - there's probably plenty to do, assuming you want to do something other than just lie on the beach and eat guacamole. (Lord knows I've done that!)

Beach weddings tend to be more casual, and there are few "rules" anymore. White is fine. Black is fine. You aren't going to upstage the bride. You can get away with a sundress and sandals at a beach wedding. (A sneaky thing might be to ask the groom what he's wearing. If he's wearing a Hawaiian print shirt, you should be fine wearing just about anything, including a bikini and a sarong. If he's wearing a white linen shirt, maybe be a little dressier, but nothing super fancy.) I think the last beach wedding I went to was actually in a church, but on Key West, and I wore a little empire waist (zebra print actually) halter dress and strappy sandals.

Go. Have a good time. I'd go if a girlfriend asked me to join her. You might have a friend want to go. Or you might want to take it as a meditative time. Your call. But GO. Enjoy!

TC,

I agree with DMC. Get a sundress, if the affair is in the evening, maybe get a scarf or shawl for your shoulders. Strappy sandals a must.

but most importantly, remember this,

TAKE CHARGE of YOUR REALITY

do not concern yourself with other peoples thoughts, get busy creating your own perfect reality.

go, be beautiful, and be yourself.

beth

I love travelling alone. Honestly.

I'd wear a nice cool cotton mid calf summer dress and sandals with a big huge summer hat :)

http://www.fabcrush.com/wp-content/u...ppy-Hat-44.jpg

Or I might just wear my old faded khaki capris and my crocs since I can't afford a dress and a hat. LOL.

Still Waters,

Love the hat idea!
Try on some hats too TC.
great idea.

yeah, capris and crocs for me too.
hehehehe

I love the idea of a summer hat and dress!

I also like traveling alone....I make it into my own adventure.
Young and pretty (as you are) it carries an air of mystery and intiguing.
You will have people to socialize with and you will meet new people.
They will want to meet you.

There will surely be several more folks attending than those two...so try not to make it about them.
A courteous smile and hello is my idea of the classy way to handle it.

I see this as an opportunity to have fun, lavish it in your self, luxuriate in the nice room
(be sure to call for room service just once...have your breakfast delivered if you can afford it!)

oh glory.....a wedding and a nice room, the beach!
I am envious!

:)

I have never worn hats!! I like the idea!! I always thought it was so stylish!

Ok I like the tone the thread is getting . :)

I'll calculate how much it would cost to my friend $$ and ask her. I believe that would make it much easier for me.

Thanks for the sneaky trick- I will ask the groom. Oh, I hope I get my camera repaired by then (or buy a new one) so I can share the pics.

Here is the hotel. The wedding will be on a garden. Ok. I looked at the pics
Huatulco - The Resort - Brisas Hotels & Resorts

For kicks I asked BF. His response
"its too far away"
"its too expensive"

Case closed. Hopefully I will be single by Dec anyway...

Thanks, thanks, now I am getting excited. OH, I believe I may already have a dress that fits if it is more informal............. I will have fun looking for a hat..... I really don't like to stand out ..so it will be a good "yes, Here I am " exercise!!!

Can't thank you enough for your support :) !!

I LOVE room service.

The last hotel I was in, I slept with XABF and his drunken friend who was visiting. Oh wait.. actually slept, nothing else! They were trying to recuperate from a hangover. I was ok watching the day go by from the dark room while they watched stupid movies and snored. I was invisible. What a Quantum Leap from then. Even the "friend" told XABF if he wasn't taking me downtown or somewhere. His comments were met with a shrug and silence. UGH.

I feel much better comparing that to my plans now..... ((hugs)) !

It takes guts to wear a hat like that. Over here its not a frequent sight.
Hey.. maybe that can be my Bold Statement following Purple Squirrel's purple sofa ...

Lots of hat styles to choose from, you don't have to go that big or bright :)

TC--go, enjoy yourself, and wear a fabulous thing that you feel comfortable wearing...I had a "day" wedding in October, and people were in everything from jeans to formal attire. I was happy that they were there to share in my special day; I didn't care what they were wearing. So go, have fun, and don't worry about the ex. :)

try something different!! now I love a good hat when I get the chance...

go and have a good and bestest time ALONE...this is what you need, and your higher power is telling you this....

mmmm gotta love room service...hehe

I think it was after I turned 30, and shortly after my youngest daughter was born that my priorities really started to shift. I had come to the point where I really didn't give a tinker's damn what other people thought of me.

My sponsor said as long as I was doing the next right thing, and putting one foot in front of the other. who cares what others think?

Besides, people didn't think anything of me half as much as I had imagined in my head. God, that 'all about me' attitude was a booger to get rid of!

One of my goals is to eventually get another motorcycle, and ride up to Yellowstone National Park, my favorite vacation spot from a childhood family trip.

I've never given a thought to having someone else go with me! I've come to cherish my independence, and my time with myself. :)

well you could look at it this way - being there alone is a confident statement. And maybe your ex is nervous about seeing you and puts on a 'show' with whoever he brings that is not truly reflective of their horrible relationship behind closed doors.

I've heard also many times that what people think of me is none of my business and I really like that saying. I have a book called 'you can be happy' and a story in there goes something like this: someone is eating at a restaurant thinks they get a dirty look from another diner. They think about this all day - why was he looking at me that way? What did I ever do to him? Did I look funny? Offend him somehow? On and on. Turns out the guy didn't know she existed - got bad news on his cell moments earlier and she happened to catch eyes with him at that exact moment. He went on his day oblivious to her, and hers was ruined ruminating over something that had nothing to do with her. They also say in this book that thoughts are just thoughts - they stream in and out of our heads all day, some with bare acknowledgment from our psyche. What matters is the weight WE assign, based on our personality, previous experiences etc. You can choose not to give weight to these thoughts about being alone - they are yours and you can dismiss them and have a terrific time!

Thanks!

Freedom it sucks, in codieness its "all about others" but in reality I am selfish that way and paranoid. Who cares!! I like that. For instance I catch myself at work thinking "gosh XABF saw me and I looked really tired" then I re think it and who cares if he sees me in whatever way??? it really is NOT important! and he is thinking about Jack Daniels anyway!! or not thinking as not many neurons may be alive at this point. Just the facts I know alcohol kills many...

I will post a pic of the dress I am planning to use! I invited my best friend but even if she goes she will arrive from somewhere else.. so I am starting to plan stuff thinking about me only...

Now it will be fun to take care of me these months. I am growing my hair longer and seeing an ex is good motivation to stay fit lol. That is a known joke

-when u see ur bf - you dont dress up
-when u see ur ex - you dress up, put makeup

but your absolutely bestest is when you will see an ex's new partner ! LOL...

In 2 weeks I will go to my home city and will see people I haven't seen for a long while - even a friend from elementary school whom I haven't seen in 20 years ! and of course I am anxious about what they think of me.

This is definitely a topic in my life. Hopefully as I add importance to myself it lessens the one I give to others.

Now I am worried about my cellulite and weight. UGH.

My girlfriend called.

She invited his boyfriend.

I feel bad because now the plans changed and I was counting on sharing a double room with her -now I'll have to spend way more in a room for myself, probably need to cut my trip short, but then if I do i'll have to fly during the weekend and that's way more expensive, so..... I lose anyway.

She knew this...

I feel abandoned as I wanted to have a "girl weekend" and now I have to share my friend with the guy... who may be nice, etc but its not the same... no heart-to-hearts.



Funny how the most stupid things trigger one's issues....... WTF can't I just go, have fun FOR MYSELF??