Bernadette

from transform: intentionally started changing the things I say to myself, about myself. I came up with a phrase to say when I felt like it was my fault my husband had a girlfriend because i had been a bad wife- "I forgive you for not knowing in the past what you know now and I lovingly set you free." I started doing Bikram yoga, 90 minutes of yoga in a 105 degree room. I was on a mission. I was in so much pain, I couldn't believe it, but I took back my life by refocusing every minute some days on what I could do right them to make my life better.

I worked harder than I ever have.

Every minute of every day was spent turning away from the old things I said to myself. the old ways I thought of myself, and intentionally creating a new belief system. I didn't want to be the horrible, nagging, angry bitch that my husband made me out to be. I believed that I was, though, and knew I needed to reprogram myself.

I intentionally created a paradigm shift for myself. It was hard work, despite being on a tropical island, kid free for a month.

Sounds like a business plan for that Codie Rehab we all wish we could go away to to jump start our recovery.

Here's to healthy choices everyone!

Peace-
B

ExCordis

My sn is latin,and it means 'out of the heart'.

At first there was no specific meaning,I used it a couple times on other websites because it sounded cool,but now that I think of it... to me it means that I'm getting rid of all the bad things of my heart,and spilling my heart pretty much,if that makes sense at all.

trapeze

I read about about change, and it likened change to flying on the trapeze. It said to move to the next trapeze you have to let go of the one you are holding on to, and it is the letting go which is scary. I like the imagery, so I picked Trapeze.

Telling that story reminds me of something my niece told me about skydiving. She said the scary point is the jumping out of the plane. After that, it gets easier. Letting go is difficult!

Great thread.

ICant

I kept writing in my journal I can't take it anymore. I think some members took it to mean that "I can't leave". It wasn't that I couldn't leave, but I was under the delusion that I was doing something noble for the kids' sakes by staying in the marriage. After lurking on SR I went to Al-Anon. I heard the phrase, "Child of an alcoholic" over and over again and I realised that I needed to leave for their sake because I was teaching them that it was normal to live with a drunk.

SlvrMag

This is why my screen name is SlvrMag. This is an actual picture of my car that a friend Photoshopped the surroundings. He did several pictures for me, but this is my favorite...I think!

SlvrMag

Wait...maybe this is my favorite...

rdy4change

Pelican this is truly a great thread...we get so much great advice and support from eachother the 'getting to know you's' was long overdue! My name is pretty self explanitory and easy. I was ready for a change in the situation I was in. Now, as the finality of my divorce approaches I'll have to come up with a new one!

Wendy

barb dwyer

SOmetimes I have to tell people to say my name ... out loud.

They don't always make the barbed wire connection.

It's pretty much how I am IRL as well.

Left alone - there's order, definition...

but you wouldn't want to tangle with me, either. :lol

actually I just thoguht at the time
it was a 'clever' play on words.

I didn't realize back then (over four years now)
that peole would SO identify me with my SN
that they will call me that in meetings now!

FreeBird09

Mine use to be sadending... but I changed that to FreeBird. I thought the xbf leaving was a sad ending to what was once a fairy tale romance gone wrong by my selfish desire to be in a healthy relationship (ok.. I know it isn't selfish, but at the TIME.. I did). So I love the song Free Bird and the lyrics hit home for me. I want him to always remember the me.. who loved(s) him unconditionally, but I can't be.... that woman who just ignored the drinking..... I can't change the me that I always desired to be, and that is a healthy, happy woman who is at peace with life. My Mom tried to convince me that his weekends should be drinking (because that is what she allows in her life).. and I just cringed each time a drink was taken.. so I knew I wasn't being the free spirit that I am....

No sadending.. this is going to be a thrilling ending.. and me.. as a freebird... I am never taking back the drunk, just taking back my life.. the one I want, need, and desire.. AND DESERVE!!

I love how everyone came up with the name they choose.. thank you for sharing and for asking.. :ghug3