groybin

I happened to watch tonight's episode. Two of the main male characters get drunk and guess what they did???

They started drunk dialing a woman they both had feelings for.
Of course, she is bewildered and concerned at first, but soon realizes what is going on.

Instead of putting up with their BS, she leaves for a date with a pretty nice guy.

You know, this is the first time I have seen drunk dialing played out on tv. I was mesmerized by it, for it gave me a whole new perspective on this.

For so long, my XABF would "open up to me emotionally" only under the influence via drunk dialing and texting. I was often bewildered by it, but rationalized that this was the ONLY WAY he could express his feelings and I forgave him over and over again. Of course, my heart would ache later, because his "expressions of love" would never be evident in his sober behavior.

Seeing this played out on tv tonight, it looked pretty pathetic, especially since both guys couldn't remember much the day after, they acted embarassed. This is such juvenile behavior, really. And to think I was forgiving a man who is 52 yrs old for this is truly ridiculous.

Linkmeister

You sound like me, groybin. Even after he stopped drinking, when he replaced the booze with benzos, the higher he got, the more he opened up, "expressing" his feelings. Yet, when I called him on it when he was sober, he could not remember a damned thing.

Last week - not sure if he's back drinking or not, but he told me that "he ddn't have the affection he used to have for me", but yet, "still loved me", I knew that this was it, finito, finish, the last hurrah.

So, in spite of that, along with calling me "cheap", "loud," "cold," "non-compassionate," I still get the emails, texts and phone messages saying how much he loved me, how I was priceless to him, yadda, yadda, yadda.


After frequent displays of this type of behaviour - and my responses, my 51 year old EXABF told me that I was the immature one because I couldn't deal with his needs. My forgiver is done forgiving.

No one could deal with his needs-he does not want a girlfriend-he wants a Stepford Wife who will conform to his every whim and desire and enable his behaviour.

The last email that slipped through was entitled "What have I done to you??"

I was tempted to reply back saying "Do you want the Readers Digest condensed version, or the "War and Peace" long version? I didn't reply.

Instead, I displayed the maturity I know I have and deleted the message.

Live

Reader's Digest or War and Peace


how delightfully tempting as a fantasy! too funny!
I will bet he misses your great sense of humor and has forgotten it, eh?

Linkmeister

Half the time, he took my humor as sarcasm or as a personal affront, the other half of the time, it was above his head so, Reader's Digest and War and Peace would have been lost on him.

Glad you appreciate my sense of humor,Live...

Some days, when things seem pretty crappy, humor gets me through the day or, the hour, or the minute.

TakingCharge999

I get it. I lived the same. Now I wouldn't put up with anyone waking me up from my sleep -only my cats have the right I recall how I felt EXCITED when XABF called me. Once he said he missed me at a party and later told me he woke up in a sofa and didn't remember how he got there. He found that funny.
He is 28 but being younger does not make the behavior any less pathetic. I am glad I am not up to those calls anymore. Who knows WTF happened between his call and the sofa. I don't want to know. I am so glad, I am no longer up to playing that game. I know it and it sucks. "I don't remember" what a wonderful way to wash their hands from anything. Punching bags are for kick boxing classes. Doormats are to make the entrance pretty. None have my name on them.

Linkmeister

TC.

I've just printed this out and taped it to my computer as a reminder of what I no longer am....nor want to be...ever again.

Live

truth with humor is one of my most favorite things!

thanks!