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I'm So Tired

Old 08-16-2010, 05:41 AM
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Behind the Red Door
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I'm So Tired

I can't remember anything in my life being as all consuming as this. I'm not eating well because I get an upset stomach when I do. I'm not sleeping well. I have no motivation to do anything except absorb everything I can about what I'm supposed to do and not do.

Monday morning at work. Yay me.
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Old 08-16-2010, 06:17 AM
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peaceful seabird
 
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Good Morning!

I'm sorry that you are so tired. I just caught up on your story by reading your recent posts.

As you stated, your daughter's addiction did not arrive overnight. It was gradual. Like a frog in a pot of water, the heat was gradually applied. Just as the addiction was gradual, the recovery (for you and your family) will be gradual. It takes time.

Be gentle with yourself. You are doing great by reaching out for support and information.

I am sharing a link from one of our sticky (permanent) posts. It contains steps that have worked for most of us when we applied them:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html

For today, try to stay in the moment. You don't have to have all the answers by 3 p.m. today, right?

Today, One moment at a time. Keep doing the next right thing. You will get there! We are here to support you!
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Old 08-16-2010, 06:48 AM
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Behind the Red Door
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The reoccurring theme seems to be to try to live my life as normally as possible. I'm finding that very difficult and unsettling. My husband and I went to a picnic this weekend, and I spent most of the day watching people and wondering if they have addiction in their lives, or looking at adorable children thinking about the hopes and dreams the parents have for them, and whether or not they will some day have an addiction.

At work when people ask how my weekend was and I say "nice", when it really wasn't. Necessary lies.
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Old 08-16-2010, 06:57 AM
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Let me share an analogy that helped me. I refer to it as the airplane analogy.

When we fly on a commercial flight, there is a pre-flight safety speech.
The flight attendant goes through the safety steps in case of an emergency.
They teach us that there are air masks that drop from the overhead in the event of a loss of cabin pressure.
They instruct us to put on our own mask before we attempt to assist others.

Yes, that is what we are encouraging you to do.

Put on your own life saving oxygen mask, before you attempt to help another.

As a parent, that is difficult. I know that I gave up a part of my life to be sure that my children's needs were met. Looking back, I don't think I always gave in a healthy way. I gave until I was lost in the giving process. I am learning that there needs to be time for me also. I can't be helpful to others until I have taken care of myself.
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Old 08-16-2010, 07:05 AM
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Being Silent so I can Hear
 
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This is where "let go and let God" comes into play Tormented. None of us has any control over another, and the sooner we realize this, the better off everyone involved is.

To stop worrying about my AH's problems, and stop wondering about the seemingly happy couples I saw all about me, and to stop playing the horrors over and over and over in my head, I had to acknowledge that his issue has nothing to do with me, is totally NOT ABOUT ME - and then I was able to Let Go, and Let God guide him.
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