I am changing my name, legally
peaceful seabird
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
I am changing my name, legally
I went to the Social Security office today to begin the process of changing my name back to my maiden name. They said I should be able to go to the motor vehicle department in 24 hours to get my license changed. I went by the post office to let the mail carrier know, the leasing office, and will start changing my name in other areas as needed.
Back story:
I divorced my alcoholic 16 months ago. In the divorce process, I asked the court to grant me the use of my maiden name again. My request was granted. However, the day the judge signed my divorce was also the day I picked up my moving truck and moved my family 100 miles away. I just haven't had the time or energy to pursue it.
Recently, I made the decision to file for bankruptcy. My case is progressing and should be discharged soon. I have had some things from my ex's past and his debts follow me the 100 miles away. I've had to have his debt removed from my credit report (was not my debt) and another problem recently. I asked my bankruptcy lawyer if it might help and be okay to begin the name change now. I was advised that collectors are ruthless and may still look for me, but legally I am ok to begin the process.
When I filed for divorce, I asked my children if they were ok with me changing my name back to my maiden name. They were fine with it.
So today, I began the process. As I sat at the SS office, the SS advisor asked me security questions about my parents and place of birth. She then handed me a piece of paper with my maiden name, date of birth, SS#, and my parents names printed there. She slid the paper to me and asked me to confirm the information as truthful and accurate. I started to well up with tears. (my parents are deceased) The little girl in me saw my old name there with my parents names and I was overwhelmed. Still am.
I am taking steps to take control of my life.
This is who I am!
Back story:
I divorced my alcoholic 16 months ago. In the divorce process, I asked the court to grant me the use of my maiden name again. My request was granted. However, the day the judge signed my divorce was also the day I picked up my moving truck and moved my family 100 miles away. I just haven't had the time or energy to pursue it.
Recently, I made the decision to file for bankruptcy. My case is progressing and should be discharged soon. I have had some things from my ex's past and his debts follow me the 100 miles away. I've had to have his debt removed from my credit report (was not my debt) and another problem recently. I asked my bankruptcy lawyer if it might help and be okay to begin the name change now. I was advised that collectors are ruthless and may still look for me, but legally I am ok to begin the process.
When I filed for divorce, I asked my children if they were ok with me changing my name back to my maiden name. They were fine with it.
So today, I began the process. As I sat at the SS office, the SS advisor asked me security questions about my parents and place of birth. She then handed me a piece of paper with my maiden name, date of birth, SS#, and my parents names printed there. She slid the paper to me and asked me to confirm the information as truthful and accurate. I started to well up with tears. (my parents are deceased) The little girl in me saw my old name there with my parents names and I was overwhelmed. Still am.
I am taking steps to take control of my life.
This is who I am!
Occasional poor taste poster
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,542
Originally Posted by Pelican 
I am taking steps to take control of my life.
Originally Posted by Pelican
This is who I am!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 302
Go You!
That is the biggest thing for me with my impending divorce. I want my old name back.
Actually, I just want to ditch his name. I hyphenated, but never really used his name except in a few situations, and the hyphen is a pain in the @ss. I've changed several things, but can't do the big stuff until the divorce actually goes through.
(Ironically, there were a few things that were too troublesome to change in the first place - I'm thankful for those, but wish I'd trusted my gut and just kept my name in the first place.)
That is the biggest thing for me with my impending divorce. I want my old name back.
Actually, I just want to ditch his name. I hyphenated, but never really used his name except in a few situations, and the hyphen is a pain in the @ss. I've changed several things, but can't do the big stuff until the divorce actually goes through.
(Ironically, there were a few things that were too troublesome to change in the first place - I'm thankful for those, but wish I'd trusted my gut and just kept my name in the first place.)
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
That is great. I did it years ago, lol
However, on a side note, if you have a Passport ................... it will take longer (a LOT longer) than Social Security or Motor Vehicle. State Department is VERY PICKY.
I am happy for you that you are 'moving on.'
Love and hugs,
However, on a side note, if you have a Passport ................... it will take longer (a LOT longer) than Social Security or Motor Vehicle. State Department is VERY PICKY.
I am happy for you that you are 'moving on.'
Love and hugs,
Forum Leader
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
I love a story with a happy ending.... and a happy beginning!
I did the same, went back to my maiden name. I'm proud of my family, my family name, and who I am today. It sounds like you are proud of those same things about you.
Woo hoo!
I did the same, went back to my maiden name. I'm proud of my family, my family name, and who I am today. It sounds like you are proud of those same things about you.
Woo hoo!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,443
Good for you! Such an empowering step.
I really wanted to during my divorce but in the end decided not to because like the previous poster said, I was worried it would cause more confusion for my young kids, especially since we were moving schools/towns. I'll for sure do it sometime in the future. I can't wait. I'll just have to shell out a few hundred rather then having it rolled into the divorce.
I really wanted to during my divorce but in the end decided not to because like the previous poster said, I was worried it would cause more confusion for my young kids, especially since we were moving schools/towns. I'll for sure do it sometime in the future. I can't wait. I'll just have to shell out a few hundred rather then having it rolled into the divorce.
peaceful seabird
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
I appreciate you all and your support.
The wonderful blessing of this website is the sharing of our experiences. I guess I should share with the newcomers that this was not my first experience with divorce.
For the record,
I have two ex husbands.
I have two children with the first ex-husband.
I have one child with the second ex-husband.
I did not go back to my maiden name after the first marriage ended. My oldest was just starting Kindergarten and I didn't want confusion about my name being different than hers.
2 years later, I married again.
That meant I had two children with "Smith" as their last name.
My last name became "Jones" and then we had another child.
3rd child has the last name "Jones" too.
Now, I am a little bit older, and I hope a little bit wiser. I knew to ask the courts for permission to return to my maiden name during the process of divorce. It didn't mean I HAD to act on changing my name. It just meant I could if I wanted to.
I did discuss this with the children prior to putting in the request. They were all fine with the idea. I confirmed this with them before I chose to take action at this time. They are still okay with this. We even have our own sense of humor about this!
Now we all have different last names!
The two older children are still "Smith" (one has moved out on her own). The youngest is still "Jones" and I am now "Happy".
We were talking about this at dinner tonight. About how it feels, how it affects things, how it doesn't affect things, and how I am still "MOM" no matter what name I use!
I love my family!
I love my SR family too!
The wonderful blessing of this website is the sharing of our experiences. I guess I should share with the newcomers that this was not my first experience with divorce.
For the record,
I have two ex husbands.
I have two children with the first ex-husband.
I have one child with the second ex-husband.
I did not go back to my maiden name after the first marriage ended. My oldest was just starting Kindergarten and I didn't want confusion about my name being different than hers.
2 years later, I married again.
That meant I had two children with "Smith" as their last name.
My last name became "Jones" and then we had another child.
3rd child has the last name "Jones" too.
Now, I am a little bit older, and I hope a little bit wiser. I knew to ask the courts for permission to return to my maiden name during the process of divorce. It didn't mean I HAD to act on changing my name. It just meant I could if I wanted to.
I did discuss this with the children prior to putting in the request. They were all fine with the idea. I confirmed this with them before I chose to take action at this time. They are still okay with this. We even have our own sense of humor about this!
Now we all have different last names!
The two older children are still "Smith" (one has moved out on her own). The youngest is still "Jones" and I am now "Happy".
We were talking about this at dinner tonight. About how it feels, how it affects things, how it doesn't affect things, and how I am still "MOM" no matter what name I use!
I love my family!
I love my SR family too!
peaceful seabird
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Originally Posted by laurie6781
However, on a side note, if you have a Passport ................... ,
Think I'll put that on the 'bucket list'.
Something I'd like to do in the future.
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