FarawayFromCars

My mom has been leaving me voicemails every day in which she cries and says something to the effect of, "I don't understand why you're so MAD at me; what did I ever do to deserve this treatment, FFC? What?!". Deleted them. Tired of the guilt tripping and histrionics. Sent her basically the same email I sent her a few days ago--i.e. her decision to take her anger about AS out on me is unacceptable. Her choice to see me not as an adult with a life separate from her is unacceptable. I love her, but until she and I can discuss this calmly and rationally, we won't be talking. Lather, rinse, repeat. I think this is the only thing I can do in this situation...it is irksome, but I feel like I'm becoming stronger for it. I feel this sense of peace about it that I didn't feel before (or maybe it's the endorphins since I just got back from a great ride). Keep moving forward...

LucyA

I used to get the same kind of treatment in phone calls from my mum.
Every call, no matter how it started, would at some point change to talking about my brother and how mean I was to him by not 'helping' him.
I stood my ground for about 18 months.
My relationship with my mum is probably the best it's ever been right now, and it is good, and I think it's because I did finally stand up for myself and proved to her (and myself) that I am my own person and can and WILL make my own decisions.

FarawayFromCars

Thank you, Lucy...your POV truly helps me to see that I'm not alone in these experiences. Sending you hugs!

LucyA

I found it hard, but even when I was crying thinking I was going to 'lose' my parents, I honestly believed it was what I needed to do. And I think I got to the point where I decided if they (my parents, my dad would stand by my mum whatever!) decided they couldn't accept my choices it would be ok.