Finally! Now what?

Old 08-10-2010, 11:16 AM
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Finally! Now what?

My husband has been an alcoholic for 10 years. He finally admitted last week that he needed help. He drove himself (I went also) to a local facility to get help. They kept him for detox. He stayed for 6 days and they have released him to a day treatment program.

I have prayed for MANY years that he would get help. Now that he is getting help, I am unsure what to expect next. I am going to go to AlAnon meetings to help myself understand things better. I am SO worried about him relapsing. Nobody ever knew that he was an alcoholic besides me. He was able to function a normal life. A lot of his friends drink as much or more than he did and he never realized how "bad" he was until he went in this program.

I guess my question is what can I do to help him most. I don't want to babysit him (which I have felt like I had to do for many years) and I want to trust him and believe that he will never drink again, but I don't. I haven't told him that this is his last chance with us (we have 3 kids) because I don't want it to sound like a threat. What are the chances he will do this right the first time??? Is it likely that he will falter and how do I react to that?

Thanks for listening to me ramble!! Have a great day and God bless!
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Old 08-10-2010, 11:34 AM
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You are doing the right thing by going to Al Anon. I went there at first to understand my ABF that I was living with at the time. But then I learned it was about understanding myself, and letting go of any responsibility or control over my A's recovery or lack thereof.
You did not cause it.
You cannot control it.
You cannot cure it.
Just take the best possible care of yourself. He is in the hands of his own Higher Power, just as you are. You'll see.
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Old 08-10-2010, 11:52 AM
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I guess my question is what can I do to help him most.
Take THE BEST possible care of yourself as you can. Keep going to Al-Anon. Read about the disease of alcoholism.
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Old 08-10-2010, 12:04 PM
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I agree, Al-Anon is the place to get your answers. Not necessarily the answers to the specific questions you asked, but answers to how you can make yourself well and whole regardless of what happens with him.

You have good reasons to feel hopeful. My first husband never had a drink after he got sober 30 years ago. No guarantees, though. My second husband went back to drinking himself to death after almost dying from liver failure before a brief foray into sobriety.

Take it a day at a time. Learn about alcoholism and what you can do for yourself. Your husband does have a higher power, and it isn't you. One less thing for you to worry about.
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