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XAH has blown through his settlement -

Old 08-09-2010, 05:34 PM
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XAH has blown through his settlement -

My XAH has blown through his divorce settlement, and didn't set any aside to help #1 son start college. $0, zip, zlich. No contribution. He's blown it, and is now out of work to boot. Nobody but an addict can go through two hundred thousand in less than 9 months! I knew he'd lose it, but I didn't figure it would go this fast.

I've set aside about 15K to fund my son's first year at college, but still a few thousand short. College is expensive!

Borrow it? Due to all the financial disasters caused by AH, there is no hope qualifying for loans for some time.

I need another miracle! I'm concerned, as I don't want to dash my son's dream of going to college - BUT, I'm positive and hopeful that things will work out.

Please send up some prayers for us.
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Old 08-09-2010, 05:37 PM
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How sad, but not really surprising, right? Does your son qualify for financial aid? That was a huge help for my daughter, so it might be worth checking into. Also, if there is no other options, your son can probably get a loan through Sallie Mae that doesn't have to start being repaid until after graduation.
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Old 08-09-2010, 05:45 PM
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Active addicts and money don't mix. Been there done that. Lesson learned. Sorry you had to go through it... 200 k in 9 mo? What is he a third world country sucking on the teet of the IMF? Hope he had fun... Again, sorry you had to go through it; esp w kids involved.

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Old 08-09-2010, 06:07 PM
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I agree with Suki.
Your son may qualify for a Sallie Mae student loan for the remaining balance. Sallie Mae will wait for him to finish school before repayment begins.

I did this with my oldest daughter. I did a Sallie Mae student loan with the bulk of the loan in my name. She took the student portion. Her payments are low and did not start until she finished school.

I am now looking at my son starting this fall. He will attend a local technical college. Our state has grant money for all students (single parent) starting out at tech. After a period of maintaining a proper g.p.a., he will also qualify for scholarship monies. Hopefully, in 6 months, they will be paying him to go to school. Then after a year, we hope to transfer to the university.

Check with the college financial aid office.

I was sure my son was going to have to rely on a pay as we go plan. Because of my financial status after the divorce, and after filing bankruptcy this year, we had resigned ourselves (he & I) to both of us working to pay as we go for his college. I am glad that I started asking friends for more information. They pointed me to resources I did not know were available to us.

Now I am considering going back to college too.

Keep reaching out, you may find that miracle!
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Old 08-09-2010, 08:05 PM
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Thanks for the suggestion on Sally Mae. I applied for that and was turned down - due to my bad credit report. I was worried about that.

I'm not a wealthy person— the monies my X was awarded in the divorce was from his half of the sale of our property. I wish now that I had insisted the judge require him to set aside a portion for this college funding. But, the legal system doesn't see college funding as a parental responsibility. They view parental responsibility ending at age 18 or upon graduation from HS.

Oh well, I have a few more rocks to turn over. Wish me luck!
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Old 08-09-2010, 08:10 PM
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Good luck with the rocks, lol. FWIW, I don't think involving your son in the pursuit of funding is a bad idea either. Work/study or even a part-time job doesn't have to be off the table. My personal opinion, based on students I've known over the years, is that the ones who have a personal stake in the cost work harder at it. The students I've known who have 100% financing from their parents (like my ex) tend to take it for granted.

Just my two cents (which won't pay for a college education!),

L
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Old 08-10-2010, 04:51 AM
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I paid for my own college education. I worked and went to school, applied for scholarships and grants, used employer college benefits, and took out student loans. The interest rate on student loans that the student takes out him or herself is so low that it is practically free to borrow it, relatively speaking.
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Old 08-10-2010, 05:03 AM
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A community college may be the answer for the first two years. Generally less expensive, he can get his associates degree and then move to another college after that.
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Old 08-10-2010, 05:27 AM
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I'm paying for my own education as well....loans and grants. It is most definitely doable; whatever it takes.
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Old 08-10-2010, 05:53 AM
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I paid for my own also. I applied for every scholarship available and got a couple. I also worked at the college. The school should have a financial aid office that will have lots of info.
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Old 08-10-2010, 06:50 AM
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I think, isurvived, that if your son can establish "independence" he would be eligible for more help than if you (the parents) take primary responsibility for paying for his education. What I'm talking about is a technical definition for the powers-that-be to determine how much he is eligible for.

The very first thing to do is he should fill out and submit the FASFA form. FAFSA - Free Application for Federal Student Aid

Doing the FASFA will establish how much federal aid (Pell Grant) he is eligible for and will automatically apply for him for certain other types of aid (such as in my case a State grant program).

I seriously recommend getting a book or two at the library on "How To Pay for College" and how to locate scholarships. There are so many different sources of free college money out there, it is insane. You just have to know where to look. The libraries usually get updates of these books each year. If your local library does not carry those books (I would be very surprised if they didn't) then your local community college library will surely have the most up-to-date versions. There are also many on-line scholarship search engines.
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Old 08-10-2010, 06:54 AM
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Also, just a tip, once I chose which school I wanted to go to, I made VERY GOOD FRIENDS with the full-time lady who worked in the Scholarship Office.
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Old 08-10-2010, 07:08 AM
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Just some ideas about how to pay for college:

Since you are worrying about it, he must be starting in September, right? You don't have to pay for the full year up front... look at it on a semester basis. You have more than enough to pay for the first semester and most of the second as well. And that'll give your son plenty of time to get a job and start contributing to his own education. If he wants it bad enough... he will. It's good for college students to work and help pay for the things that are important to them. It helps them develop a good work ethic which is, IMO, more important than the degree itself.

And if you stop claiming him on your taxes now, his income will be low enough next year that he will qualify for his own loans (and probably pell grants) and your bad credit shouldn't even be a consideration.
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Old 08-10-2010, 07:37 AM
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My XAH has blown all his money and is about to lose his house. He hasn't worked because he is a felon from DUI's and too proud of taking "any" job . He is stalling selling his house and is angry at everyone refusing to loan him $. He has run up a loan from Bank of America $15,000. and has no intention of paying it back. This may be his bottom but many times he has had a (should be) bottom but kept drinking. It is a sad thing. Alcohol is a solvent. It takes everything away. I put myself through college. I had a loan and worked on campus and the $ went to tuition. I think a college would work with you since you have some of the money. This was my situation as a kid. My Dad didn't provide and I had that stress. I was real glad to go away from the situation and go off to college.
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Old 08-10-2010, 09:00 AM
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or can your son defer for a year, get some boring dead end job and save like crazy to help get through his first year/two at college? you could have extra time to get together some money for his second or final year, which will be the one he really needs to concentrate on, and this may help in gettign him classified as "independent"

cons:

has to wait a year

pros:
gets some funds
understands the value of the education because he's paying for it and he understands what working hard in a boring job is like.
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Old 08-10-2010, 09:52 AM
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That's a shame... Here in NJ, a divorced parent is responsible for college expenses (even, at times, through grad school) although a married parent isn't.

I do think THAT'S a little cockeyed.

Nevertheless, people manage to get through school all the time without help from parents. It's tougher, and more work, but I think it's a good point that kids who help earn their education value it more.

You and your son have your work cut out for you, but it CAN be done.
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Old 08-10-2010, 01:39 PM
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Depending on the college or university--many of them will accept the credits from a technical college they approve--and tuition is much less expensive at technical colleges. So that may be an option too. The first year is just basics--so maybe check to see if the school he wants to go to will accept transfer credits from a tech school.

I agree with what everyone else said. The sooer he is off your taxes and independent the sooner he will be more qualified for available financial aid. Work study is good and there is nothing wrong with him getting a job too. I agree, if he has some vested interest he may be more inclined to know the value of what he (you) are paying for.

Sometimes that first year can be a tough one especially if they are not living at home. So if he can go somewhere less expensive that may help. Also, if he decides college is not for him (hopefully that will not be the case) you will not have spent all the money that he may decide to use when he is better prepared for college. But, you would know how motivated he is.
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Old 08-10-2010, 04:24 PM
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Thanks for the ideas. I never thought about taking it a semester at a time.

This is a private college - and specializes in the arts. Very focused. My son does have a job already lined up in the city where the college is - part-time job. He got a transfer from our hometown, which I felt good about. He's very responsible and motivated.

I'll look into not claiming him on my taxes for 2010, and hopefully that will help him secure additional funds for the second semester.

I'm very pleased he actually WANTS to go to college. His older brother did not, and has not had any education past HS - and has no career or steady job. This younger boy is eager and has big dreams for his future.
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Old 08-10-2010, 04:38 PM
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Ya know, I think everything will work out for the best. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and making wise decisions.

Have faith. :-) And never give up.
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