mamaplus2kids

My AXH filed documents with the courts showing that he has been diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder and with dysthymic disorder. He wrote the court stating that he is also bipolar and has ADHD. He has also applied for disability benefits. He has been appealing the divorce decree that is forcing him to pay child support and to pay back his debts to me. He is trying to prove to the courts that he is to sick to work.

My question to you is: does this person seem well enough to take care of children aged 10 and 6? The visits are sadly unaccompanied but for only 4.5 hours? Until this summer, he was granted "supervised" visitation only, but a judge loosened things up. I've been fighting off this man for the past 4 years in the courts. It took me 3 years to get a divorce decree. He is now fighting the money decision, saying I owed him $800,000 for crazy reasons no one seems to understand.

In saying this, he can be the most charming person when he wants to be.

nodaybut2day

What does your lawyer say?

*I* personally don't believe that your X should be left alone with the kids (mine wasn't diagnosed but he displayed all the traits for narcissism), but the courts may not see it this way. In their minds, 4.5 hrs a week isn't much AND he hasn't harmed the kids, so why deny him his god-given right to mess up his kids? Can you offer to have a neutral third party supervise the visitation?

As for the 800K you supposedly owe him, ...well OF COURSE you owe him. So does the rest of the world. He's a narcissist remember? If anything, I think THAT claim is the one that'll be thrown out.

Freedom1990

Any chance you can ask again for supervised visitation since he's too 'sick' to work now? It seems to me he's really shooting himself in the foot in the long run for continuing unsupervised visitation.

Just a thought.

Oh, and getting disability is a nightmare. I've been fighting for 4 years now, and have another hearing on September 22nd. He's got a long road of ahead of him if he thinks he can get it.

suki44883

Yep, he's in for a long fight to get disability. I know someone who has been fighting for almost 5 years after being turned down the first time. Sounds to me like the guy is a lot like my ex who is just a jerk. I am SOOOO glad I no longer have to deal with him since my daughter is about to turn 21. He was just pistoff that I had the nerve to divorce his stinky butt.

keepinon

He showed the judge he has Narcissistic Personality Disorder? That means even his therapist thinks he's a turd? Seems unlikely to be reaping much sympathy, support , or benefits from that..wow...

ChrrisT

He will have to pay child support eventually. If the deadbeat gets a job...

Choose your fights - the "supervised" visits are the most important thing, right?

Financially - cut your loses - it's just added BS and you may never get satisfaction.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder - he might as well say he's a serial killer - they have no conscience.

Have strength - you'll need it with this one.

wicked

only a narcissist would think it is a good idea to tell the world he is a narcissist, because it is his idea.
only a narcissist would think he could get disability benefits for having this disorder, even though they can be highly functioning because they are driven to do well!
they have no empathy, and thus would not be good caretakers of children, unless they were reflecting how great he is to the world.

add to that the self will run riot when actively alcoholic and that is a disaster.
an emotional trainwreck for your children.
do what you can to protect your kids mama.
narcissists have to think their disorder is a "bad" thing to even want to get treated, and then, success rate is very low because it takes years of therapy and a compliant patient. a narcissist knows better than any doctor or therapist. so, compliance is out.

of course he can be charming when he wants to mama, it is how he gets his needs served.

let him continue to prove to the world he is unfit to have supervised visits.

it would be hilarious if there werent children involved.

Freedom1990

As an added afterthought, it doesn't make a wit's bit of difference if by some chance he gets disability because he still has to pay child support.

Amber's dad ran his own little trucking company, and since he claimed that his work was spotty, the support was based on him making minimum wage at 40 hours a week. I don't know if it differs from state to state.

Now when he was taken to court for an increase when she was 11, that's when my attorney discovered that not only was he drawing a substantial amount from disability insurance he bought as he was home recuperating from a work-related shoulder surgery, but he also had a huge chunk of change he collected in interest off of the trust fund his parents left him every year.

Your EXAH is nuts if he thinks he's exempt from child support.

Thumper

That is how it is here too. Even if the person is not working at all they calculate the formula based on min. wage.

If he actually does get disability your child will draw her own check as a minor child of an adult with a disability.