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Old 07-29-2010, 07:17 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by mrphillipctrs1 View Post
Hey transform,

I wish I was making this stuff up. This is only 3 weeks of the life that is my XAGF. I have so many more stories, that would shock even the most veteran of SR folks. I just want to move on, and permanently close this chapter in my life.

A few years ago, I'd have been PMing you for her number. HA!

Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote
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Old 07-29-2010, 07:27 PM
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Originally Posted by coyote21 View Post
A few years ago, I'd have been PMing you for her number. HA!

Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote
Now Coyote,

A few years ago, yes the thrill of police chases, the chaos and fear of losing your job might have been very appealing.
But we all know what happens next, yes?
She tires of you and the abandonment begins.
sigh.......
she sounds like someone i used to hang out with in my twenties.
oh the adrenaline rush, sick, i tell ya, sick.
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Old 07-29-2010, 08:03 PM
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Coyote! Hilarious!

Mr. Phil, I hope you're being kind to yourself. Being involved with a mastermind criminal is enough to shake anyone. You're going to be fine..
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Old 07-29-2010, 08:23 PM
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I knew her since college back in the 80's. We had some really wild times, but oh my, I have never, ever seen anything like this.

Thanks everyone for your support, I am feeling a bit better, and know that I am not a [email protected]@.
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Old 07-31-2010, 02:17 PM
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I broke no contact and was back into the drama/chaos fast.....and out fast. XAH emailed me after nc for almost a year. He emailed Xmas, Merry Xmas.....I replied ditto....he emailed Happy Valentines Day Feb. 14th and I replied ditto.....so last month he emailed "I wonder if we can still comunicate?".......He asked me was I still living where I had been. I replied I did live in the same place. A week later he emails he has really messed up his knee. I ignored him. Bank of America calls me looking for him. We never had an acct. with them but now he has one and has run it up $15,000. They are calling me looking for him. This pissed me off. I ask him what is up with that? Then he is trying to borrow $10,000 to finish repairs on his house so he can sell it for more. Quack, quack, quack......H--- no.....I will not loan him money. He just wants to sit and use.....not work on the house. I email him he should sell it "as is". He calls me funny or stupid.....he isn't sure which. There for a seond I felt sorry for him.....out of money, hurt with no insurance, no job, no car or liscence( from many DUI's).......THEN he called me stupid........for selling the house "as is"......He did me a favor. I have not been in contact with him since and will ignore any poor me's or quacking from him. Lesson learned.....
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Old 08-02-2010, 10:45 AM
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I did it again....at some level I enjoy the chaos or the drama. XAH emails me he never wants to hear from me again, threw away the cats dishes and gave the cat to a neighbor, and I ruined his kids lives......(hum)........he got a dui, went to jail, lost his job, walked out of two treatment centers, and is now losing his job and it is my fault......(hum)......let go or be dragged......no contact.......I still need to vent.......I am still hurt and angry even after being divorced 3 yrs. He is going crazy....he has a f---ed up brain.I need to pray for me in the situation. His kids loved me....and they have nothing to do with him.......hum........I'm a drama queen.......I need to stop though.....he can be dangerous.......
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Old 08-02-2010, 10:50 AM
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Sorry....I meant he is losing his house....lost his job several years ago and has lived on inherited money that is now gone. He needs to blame somebody. His kids don't know the half of it....like him secretly filming me getting dressed.....and having cameras in the bathroom. Sick......secretly taping phone conversations.....being on Match.com saying we were divorced when we weren't.......by the grace of God go I......
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Old 08-02-2010, 11:14 AM
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If you do not have children with this man, then there is no reason for you to have any contact with him whatsoever, unless you aren't done with him. The only way to get past being sucked back in is to go no contact. No email, no postal mail, no texting, no phone calls, nothing! You hold the key to your chains.
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Old 08-02-2010, 04:26 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by suki44883 View Post
If you do not have children with this man, then there is no reason for you to have any contact with him whatsoever, unless you aren't done with him. The only way to get past being sucked back in is to go no contact. No email, no postal mail, no texting, no phone calls, nothing! You hold the key to your chains.
I had to learn my lesson the hard way, but at least I learned it. No contact is the only way to protect yourself, and the only way to work on yourself.
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Old 08-03-2010, 06:41 AM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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Yep....I know. It feels like an emotional relapse. I think I will do 90 in 90. I need to do some sponser work too. I am done. Thanks everyone. I talked to the neighbor- the cat is fine. She has the cat. Yep........I have been a dumb---. Back on the beam....steps.....meetings.....4th step......write him a letter and burn it......I did not realize how much work on hurt and anger I still needed.....Thanks Suki and MrPhillip.
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Old 08-03-2010, 06:54 AM
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Carol and mrphillips,

Thanks for sharing your stories. I need the reminder that no contact is SO important. There are times when I think, "Gee, wonder if I could have contact/be friends with my exA someday? Maybe if the drinking stopped??" Right. The adult me totally knows that's a load of BS, and absolutely a state of totally asking for chaos and drama in my life. That's a slippery slope that I need to stay off of...thank you, and hugs to you both.

posie
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Old 08-03-2010, 07:45 AM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by mrphillipctrs1 View Post
Hey transform,

I wish I was making this stuff up. This is only 3 weeks of the life that is my XAGF. I have so many more stories, that would shock even the most veteran of SR folks. I just want to move on, and permanently close this chapter in my life.

Hehe...I am sure I could give you a run for your money, in swapping stories! Stay strong my friend!
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Old 08-03-2010, 08:38 AM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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Hey Kev,

Too bad there isn't a paid competition for these stories, I am sure we would be rich!

Thanks for your post, sometimes it feels like I am the only one that had such a crazy one.
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Old 08-03-2010, 09:13 AM
  # 34 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by posiesperson View Post
Carol and mrphillips,

Thanks for sharing your stories. I need the reminder that no contact is SO important. There are times when I think, "Gee, wonder if I could have contact/be friends with my exA someday? Maybe if the drinking stopped??" Right. The adult me totally knows that's a load of BS, and absolutely a state of totally asking for chaos and drama in my life. That's a slippery slope that I need to stay off of...thank you, and hugs to you both.

posie
Yep. Sounds like me. I entertain the idea that maybe I can be friends with my exAGF, but then the lies, manipulations and deceit start up immediately, heck, they never stop, and she has a vast array of enablers who participate in the lies as well, so you simply cannot win. It gets nasty almost immediately. I end up on the defensive against all the falsehoods spread about me, and then I get sucked in. It's like entering the twilight zone, every single aspect of her life is phony, false, and lie filled. It's like wading into a muddy bog and getting your boots stuck in it.
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Old 08-03-2010, 09:52 AM
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Yep it's like drowning or being underwater.....oh......but I would win with the stories......scary, creepy, who the heck was I married to? stories.......he's an alkie and sociopath, psychopath, all the above.......conman, player, lier, all in one. Oh what's the won that hates women..?..that one too.
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Old 08-03-2010, 10:08 AM
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I think in a lot of cases it really does go so much more deep than mere drug and alcohol use. So many of them are frauds, con-men and liars. It's pathological.

I got sucked in this weekend myself, it happens, and now I need time to get back to sanity.

I spoke with my exAGF's ex-husband. He reminded me that, nope, I am not losing my mind when I talk to her, it well and truly is like losing your grip and entering into her own private reality. He's dealt with it for ten years and had his sanity taken apart in various doses.

I don't see it ever changing. He reiterated to me once again that is has always and will always be the alcohol. The denial has become so huge that you cannot being to take apart the layers.
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Old 08-03-2010, 11:19 AM
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Originally Posted by Duped View Post
I think in a lot of cases it really does go so much more deep than mere drug and alcohol use. So many of them are frauds, con-men and liars. It's pathological.

I got sucked in this weekend myself, it happens, and now I need time to get back to sanity.

I spoke with my exAGF's ex-husband. He reminded me that, nope, I am not losing my mind when I talk to her, it well and truly is like losing your grip and entering into her own private reality. He's dealt with it for ten years and had his sanity taken apart in various doses.

I don't see it ever changing. He reiterated to me once again that is has always and will always be the alcohol. The denial has become so huge that you cannot being to take apart the layers.
Hey Duped,

I also had contact with my XAGF's exhusband just recently. She had painted him to be a socio-path and I bought it hook, line and sinker. After we spoke, he told me the same things, we compared stories and it was all the same. I don't feel as crazy about it anymore and it helps a great deal when coming to acceptance of who she has become because of the addiction.

There are just a few people left for her to lie to now, almost all of our mutual friends are done. She does have a new man in her life, but he is just getting started in the madness.

We no longer have to live in the craziness, the truth has set us free.
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Old 08-03-2010, 11:40 AM
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Originally Posted by mrphillipctrs1 View Post
Hey Duped,

I also had contact with my XAGF's exhusband just recently. She had painted him to be a socio-path and I bought it hook, line and sinker. After we spoke, he told me the same things, we compared stories and it was all the same. I don't feel as crazy about it anymore and it helps a great deal when coming to acceptance of who she has become because of the addiction.

There are just a few people left for her to lie to now, almost all of our mutual friends are done. She does have a new man in her life, but he is just getting started in the madness.

We no longer have to live in the craziness, the truth has set us free.
Indeed, he and myself compared notes for a couple hours.

I have a daughter with my exAGF, so I do have some contact, but luckily she (the mother) too, has pushed all of my friends and my family out of her life, and like yours, she has few people left to lie to - her enablers are only a handful, and her therapist, whom I'm sure sees through a lot of her stuff.

She never wanted to know my friends or family because they were a threat to her disease I suppose.

Of course, the big lie continues onward. She still insists that she does not have an alcohol problem, only that she had a drug problem.

Luckily when I went no contact, she got a new person in her life and he too has only got started in the madness. Of course, she also painted her ex husband as a real nasty guy, but quite the contrary, he is level headed, easy going for the most part and fully understands the lunacy of her life.

You can bet she is busy painting me as a nasty SOB as well.
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Old 08-03-2010, 03:03 PM
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I think I am done with trying to make sense of the madness.
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Old 08-03-2010, 03:04 PM
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I think I am done with trying to make sense of the madness. I am worn out from it.
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