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What a normal person would do...

Old 07-26-2010, 07:37 PM
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What a normal person would do...

Well, I don't know why, but my AH's actions STILL shock me! We are seperated now, he has been w/ a friend for a couple weeks. Anyway, he had to watch the kids tonight while I was teaching a class. Anyway, in my opinion a "normal" person who actually cared about someone or who knew their marriage was "on the rocks", wouldn't they attempt to be nice? Wouldn't they attempt to make changes where the spouse had mentioned were problems? Not my AH.....I totally believe he is waiting for me to just say OK, come back. If I'm did it would just be more of the same....him complaining about what the kids did or did not do, yelling at me calling me names, him doing NOTHING around the house. I am just still so shocked by his behavior....he really has no intention to change at all. REALITY is that he was never who I thought he was or made him to be, he was always this person, and always will be. Sorry just frustrated....although at least if he doesn't try I have no false hope for change!!
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Old 07-26-2010, 07:53 PM
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You said it in your last line, "at least if he doesn't try I have no false hope for change!! "

Be grateful, not sorry. He wouldn't be doing you any favors by pretending to make changes.
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Old 07-26-2010, 07:59 PM
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Yours and mine could be friends. ;-)

Mine got nasty a handful of occasions. Ultimately, he knows that I'm done. Moreover, I really do believe he knows I'm better off. He never did come groveling back. It's clear to me at 6-months that he is aware he doesn't love me. He doesn't love himself.
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Old 07-26-2010, 08:06 PM
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Yeah, I'm still shocked at the crazy crap mine pulls regularly.

The fairy tales just make me

I know he's not sane, I don't expect him to suddenly become sane, but it still freaks me out.
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Old 07-26-2010, 08:11 PM
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Normal! Normal? Oh, NORMAL. Sorry but thinking of A's and normal in the same sentence really threw me for a short while.

Hmmmmmmm, let's be honest here....would he know normal even if it bit him on his ****?

No I didn't think so either. Give grateful thanks that he is making your decisions so much easier to see as right.....funny isn't it? He couldn't validate your feelings when together, but he sure validates them now...just by being the man he is.

God bless

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Old 07-26-2010, 08:56 PM
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AH needs to learn by losing you, he has no solution. The faster than you leave him, the better. Alcoholic needs hit rock-bottom before he surrenders his life to the program and swears off drinking for life.
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