Public Service Announcement for the Newbies--THIS is what quacking looks like.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: rural west
Posts: 1,375
Originally Posted by Paintbaby 
Quacking just gives them an outlet to assuage any sort of mild anxiety they may be feeling at the loss of a codie partner, since to them , they ARE making an EFFORT here, geez--LOOK HOW I'M POURING MY HEART OUT TO YOU! But when you get right down to it---quacking is ALL they think they have to do to get us back. They just think we're that easy. LEt that sink in for a minute.
I don't think it is vanity on my AH's part. I think he cares deeply and believes himself full tilt. He has to to keep the denial running. I think it DOES give him an outlet to assuage anxiety/guilt.
My AH is full of tortured, sweet, earnest comments about how he is "right here" and "doing everything I want".
I keep saying I don't have actions to go on, so his word doesn't mean much.
He says I am cruel and just want out, but I keep telling myself I am sane and I am getting more of the same.
As I stick to my guns, I am getting more admittal of the extent of the drinking, but full assurance he can handle it without outside anything.
He compared over drinking in the past to other minor mistakes that can be quickly rectified.
LOL! Did you forget your mom is in recovery?? That alcoholism isn't minor?
"I AM NOT MY MOM! I can totally handle this!"
Yep. There's that terminal uniqueness again. (sigh)
So, quack quack quack.
He can't help himself, I look like the bad guy (to him) and on we go.
It gets easier with time to see it more clearly, doesn't it?
Peace
OSSSU!
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: West Palm Beach, Florida
Posts: 116
Originally Posted by Paintbaby
Everyone following along? :
Declaration of love and how much he misses me right off the bat--check!
Emotional manipulation---check!
Self-centredness(I,I,I,I,)--checkity-check-check!
ZERO plan to work a program----check!
Collossal arrogance in assuming I still care---check!
Usually done while drunk(as evidenced by the rambling style, and gross misuse of punctuation and the english language)---check!
Declaration of love and how much he misses me right off the bat--check!
Emotional manipulation---check!
Self-centredness(I,I,I,I,)--checkity-check-check!
ZERO plan to work a program----check!
Collossal arrogance in assuming I still care---check!
Usually done while drunk(as evidenced by the rambling style, and gross misuse of punctuation and the english language)---check!
I think mine is over for good now, though....Thank God!
OSSSU!
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: West Palm Beach, Florida
Posts: 116
Originally Posted by Paintbaby
Awwww, thanks kids! I love you guys!
Just trying to share the humor! This stuff is pure gold--the arrogance, the disconnect--it's quite astounding, really. But I gotta say--it sure is nice to SEE the humor, instead of taking it as sincere, and getting sucked back in for Round 2.(or Round 576--YMMV). But isn't it sweet? He misses the tarragon! Ahahahahahahaaaaa!!!!!!
Just trying to share the humor! This stuff is pure gold--the arrogance, the disconnect--it's quite astounding, really. But I gotta say--it sure is nice to SEE the humor, instead of taking it as sincere, and getting sucked back in for Round 2.(or Round 576--YMMV). But isn't it sweet? He misses the tarragon! Ahahahahahahaaaaa!!!!!!
It's like a breath of fresh air to read the crap they spew and get a good laugh.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 545
Paintbaby... you have found your calling! Perhaps you could open your own shop.... "Decoders Anonymous" 
Love... love... love your ciphering skills!
Beverly Hillbillies.... Jethro had mad ciphering skills. Jethro got that "advanced 3rd grade education", and would impress Uncle Jed and the Clampett family with his intellect by displaying his "ciphering" abilities!
Love... love... love your ciphering skills!
Beverly Hillbillies.... Jethro had mad ciphering skills. Jethro got that "advanced 3rd grade education", and would impress Uncle Jed and the Clampett family with his intellect by displaying his "ciphering" abilities!
Uncle Jed: (to Jethro) "Boy, show Mr. Drysdale how smart you are, do some ciphering for us."
Jethro: (enthuisatically) "Sure Uncle Jed! Do you want me to do some times or gosintas?"
Jed: "Oh, I dunno, lets do some gosintas"
Jethro: (enthuisatically) " 2 gosinta 6... 3 times." "3 gosinta 9... 3 times." "4 gosinta 8... 2 times!"
Jed: Weeeeee Doggieeee!!!
Jethro: (enthuisatically) "Sure Uncle Jed! Do you want me to do some times or gosintas?"
Jed: "Oh, I dunno, lets do some gosintas"
Jethro: (enthuisatically) " 2 gosinta 6... 3 times." "3 gosinta 9... 3 times." "4 gosinta 8... 2 times!"
Jed: Weeeeee Doggieeee!!!
Being Silent so I can Hear
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 2,521
I referred to that, when at his rehab center and later in counseling as "bloviating".
I can't claim it thought, I got it from his Mom. That's what she said he always did. She was right on the money.
1.
To speak or write at length in a pompous or boastful manner.
To speak or write at length in a pompous or boastful manner.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: At the top of my mountain.
Posts: 124
Love it, Jadmack! That picture says it all. I'm also of the opinion that the discourse from a quacker's butt is far more intelligent and "heartfelt" than what actually spews out of their mouths.... but when you come right down to it, both are merely all "hot air", and no substance.
OSSSU!
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: West Palm Beach, Florida
Posts: 116
Is it common for them to go the opposite direction if they are not getting the response they expect? Because mine went from professing his love.....To bashing just about everything to do with me.
I am boring, have no life, and my friends are crazy....blah, blah, blah.
Ohhhh, and lets not forget that he has some woman calling him....(yup, because I'm so sure he doesn't call her) HAHA.....he is a phone ADDICT...Yes, he went on to say that this woman calls him while she is out with her boyfriend....WHOA!!! Now, there's a keeper if ever I've seen one.
I really hate that he IS out having a great time, running a muck, CERTAINLY not thinking of me ........and I'm just BLAH....Call me the Sullen girl.
I am boring, have no life, and my friends are crazy....blah, blah, blah.
Ohhhh, and lets not forget that he has some woman calling him....(yup, because I'm so sure he doesn't call her) HAHA.....he is a phone ADDICT...Yes, he went on to say that this woman calls him while she is out with her boyfriend....WHOA!!! Now, there's a keeper if ever I've seen one.
I really hate that he IS out having a great time, running a muck, CERTAINLY not thinking of me ........and I'm just BLAH....Call me the Sullen girl.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: At the top of my mountain.
Posts: 124
I think it could be common for the A to do an about- face, Mataleao, but my STBXAH hasn't hit that stage yet! I'm sure once he realizes his words are not having the intended effect, he'll have a bit of a hissy fit and start slinging mud. I won't respond to those emails, either.
Re: your alcoholic ex--Well, he could be out having a "great" time--as great a time as an alcoholic can have, I suppose. But how great can that be, really? Be glad his focus is off you. That is just bad energy you really don't want to have directed at you. And now YOUR energy is free to go toward YOU and YOUR life, where it belongs--not being used up in service to an emotionally-depleting alcoholic.
Re: your alcoholic ex--Well, he could be out having a "great" time--as great a time as an alcoholic can have, I suppose. But how great can that be, really? Be glad his focus is off you. That is just bad energy you really don't want to have directed at you. And now YOUR energy is free to go toward YOU and YOUR life, where it belongs--not being used up in service to an emotionally-depleting alcoholic.
Being Silent so I can Hear
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 2,521
Originally Posted by Mataleao
Is it common for them to go the opposite direction if they are not getting the response they expect? Because mine went from professing his love.....To bashing just about everything to do with me.
I am boring, have no life, and my friends are crazy....blah, blah, blah.
Ohhhh, and lets not forget that he has some woman calling him....(yup, because I'm so sure he doesn't call her) HAHA.....he is a phone ADDICT...Yes, he went on to say that this woman calls him while she is out with her boyfriend....WHOA!!! Now, there's a keeper if ever I've seen one.
I really hate that he IS out having a great time, running a muck, CERTAINLY not thinking of me ........and I'm just BLAH....Call me the Sullen girl.
I am boring, have no life, and my friends are crazy....blah, blah, blah.
Ohhhh, and lets not forget that he has some woman calling him....(yup, because I'm so sure he doesn't call her) HAHA.....he is a phone ADDICT...Yes, he went on to say that this woman calls him while she is out with her boyfriend....WHOA!!! Now, there's a keeper if ever I've seen one.
I really hate that he IS out having a great time, running a muck, CERTAINLY not thinking of me ........and I'm just BLAH....Call me the Sullen girl.
My AH tells more lies than truths when he speaks. I'm not sure he knows what the truth IS.
Just don't allow them to take up real estate in your mind, you have better things to do with your time.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 693
I love this thread--all the humor--but the harsh reality of it too. I really had a hard time decoding quacking at first. Now, thanks to all of you, I know it when I hear and now I have so many fine visuals to incorporate into my thoughts when stbxah starts it up that it will be easy to tune out and just smile.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: central coast, ca
Posts: 1,652
Thanks for showing the intense drama that WAS you life.. .now if u want to hear this kind of BS u can watch a Lifetime movie instead (easier to change that channel!) Loved the rambling pomposity, you just don't see that kind of ego everyday!
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