lulu1974

Hello SR!!

I had a bumpy week but I am rebounding. I went out to NYC with friends last night to one of the most beautiful lounges I have ever been to. It was a rooftop lounge and the view was unbelievable and I realized that I have stopped thinking of my staxh whenever I have something I want to share. I had a really nice time mingling..ate dinner at midnight in NY (lol) and came home. I realized I am getting closer to my friends in NYC again after being absent for so long and it felt so nice. Last night I didnt really want to seek out guys or anything I really just wanted to enjoy the night.
I got weepy coming home which happens every so often but then realized when I get scared I want to run back to my comfort zone. Comfort zone doesnt necessarily mean a good thing for me. MY comfort zone of being with my staxh and having someone to come home to is no longer available and I think that makes me scared because I dont have him to fall back on. It was a big AHA moment. I was so proud of myself. I have been through so much and it still gets tough sometimes as the roller coaster still continues at times but I keep getting back up and starting again.

Hugs
Lulu

ItsmeAlice

I sometimes rate my success in recovery in how well I come back from a stumbling block rather than worrying about getting set back at all. It's a process not a complete cure.

Sounds like you are really forging ahead and doing very well!!

The night in NYC sounds amazing. I've got lounge-envy.

I feel a little nostalgic and a bit sad after I have a great night out with friends or family. Once the fun is over, I tend to feel like I'm returning home all alone with no love to keep me gowing.

I find it helpful to plan some "recuperative" time when I get home. Something I like to do that relaxes me. Maybe a home facial, or a favorite playlist of music while I get ready for bed. Gives me something to look forward to on the way home rather than getting blue over what could never have been with XABF. Also makes the house seem a little less lonely when I view it as happy alone-time.

New healthy habits always stomp the nuts out of old unhealthy habits. The sooner I started healthy habits, my unhealthy ones quickly went on life-support. Poor things.

You are a vibrate woman with a busy social life other gals only wish of when they watch Sex In The City reruns. You keep doin' what you're doin'!!!!

Alice

SoloMio

Lulu, I"m SO happy you connected with friends in NYC, sounds like a great time. Doing simple things like that is so much fun when it's not all convoluted with alcohol. Also it's great that you don't have that cloud over your head thinking about STBXAH. Also so happy that you realize your weak spots and you are learning to overcome them.

You're doing great! Do more of the same!!

Anna

Good for you, Lulu!

It is about creating new ways to deal with situations and learning to feel comfortable with the changes, and you're doing great!