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-   -   Wicked Weeble Wobbling (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/205671-wicked-weeble-wobbling.html)

wicked 07-23-2010 06:34 PM

Wicked Weeble Wobbling
 
Hello dear friends on SR,

My daughter was jailed on the 18th of this month for domestic assault (against her boyfriend who she is not to be in contact with) and another minor in possession (she blew a .219). On the 17th, she was tested in the morning for another probation she is on and blew dirty on that test.
So, two blatant probation violations in one weekend.

Her arraignment was on Thursday this week, and I got to see her in person, although she was in the "jury box" habdcuffed and wearing the jail uniform. She was crying and saying "I love you" with sign language. She looked shocked when the charges were read, but, she doesnt remember much of that evening. She also asked that I write to her.

I very much want to write the perfect letter, but of course, that is just my magical thinking at work. What have I said up to now that has made any difference? I think very little.

this is what i have so far.
MB, I love you very much. I miss you very much.
I am sorry you are in jail. I will not be bailing you out, I hope you get a ninety day alternative to incarceration (rehab) and work it like your life depends on it, because it does.
Love
mommy

PS, your kitty is fine. I am taking good care of her.

Please help me with some encouragement that is not codieness.
Oh, btw, I clutched my codependent no more book to me like a holy roller at services. When the judge asked, "Are you going to bail her out?"
I said, "No way, it must stop here."
She nodded and said good.


Anvilhead, come and take the pillow I have been throwing under her a$$ for years and give it to your dogs to tear apart. My dog is a miniature dachshund with very little teeth. She can't do it. :gaah

coyote21 07-23-2010 07:04 PM

I think you did great, so does the Judge.

The letter seems fine, I'd leave it at that. And I'm glad you are minding her kitty.

Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote

wicked 07-23-2010 07:18 PM

Yes, I have to take care of kitty, even though I am not a cat person.
sigh.....
she is a beautiful cat with hair as soft as an ermine coat.
very friendly and actually plays fetch.
the dachshund doesnt understand fetch.
:grouphug:

NYC_Chick 07-23-2010 07:42 PM

I can't imagine what that must be like. All the alcoholics in my life have been parental figures or boyfriends.

Hang in there! Big hugs!

coyote21 07-23-2010 07:58 PM


Originally Posted by wicked (Post 2659813)
Yes, I have to take care of kitty, even though I am not a cat person.
sigh.....
she is a beautiful cat with hair as soft as an ermine coat.
very friendly and actually plays fetch.
the dachshund doesnt understand fetch.
:grouphug:

I was never a cat person till this 20lb'er I just dumped off my lap to type this. I think he was a dog in a previous life. I had you figured wrong, what with the avatar and all.

Any way, just because you are "wicked", and just because you're not a cat person, and just because she's soft as ermine (whateverthehellthatis), you best not be entertaining any wicked ideas about making kitty an accessory.

I had 2 different dachshunds when I was a kid, niether of them understood much at all, as I remember. But they were quite silly looking and very entertaining.

Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote

wicked 07-23-2010 08:06 PM


wicked ideas about making kitty an accessory
well, she is black and white, just as cruella de ville would like.
and ermine is like mink, (or a type of mink anyway) yeah, this cat is okay. she will live.
:lmao


But they were quite silly looking and very entertaining
of course, i think my dachshund knows everything about me. especially my moods. and since she is a black and tan, she has very expressive eyebrows! lol
i do love her, and she weighs only 10 pounds!

wicked 07-23-2010 08:10 PM


Originally Posted by NYC_Chick (Post 2659826)
I can't imagine what that must be like. All the alcoholics in my life have been parental figures or boyfriends.

Hang in there! Big hugs!

Thank you NYC_Chick,
Oh my the parental figures and boyfriend stories I could tell you!
But, just getting to know me now, before I try a boyfriend again.
There has to be a whole man out there somewhere.
yep.
Got hope.
But not withering away waiting for prince charming either. enough with the fairy tales.
:grouphug:

Beth

coyote21 07-23-2010 09:44 PM


Originally Posted by wicked (Post 2659856)
well, she is black and white, just as cruella de ville would like.
and ermine is like mink, (or a type of mink anyway) yeah, this cat is okay. she will live.
:lmao



of course, i think my dachshund knows everything about me. especially my moods. and since she is a black and tan, she has very expressive eyebrows! lol
i do love her, and she weighs only 10 pounds!

Mine were both full sized, probably around 20lbs, both black and tan. It was before leash laws, so both ran the hood and stayed very lean and muscular. No bellies dragging for those girls.

We lived in Houston, and at night there were toads everywhere in our neighborhood. The 2nd one I had use to catch toads, and apparently they had some chemical they discharged though their skin that would cause her to foam at the mouth and look rabid. Ah, good times.

"Well Christy, I can see you've been eating toads again". Ha!

Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote

keepinon 07-23-2010 10:37 PM

I love the letter, full of love, hope, and boundaries in a few short sentences. Sometimes I pray my daughter wil be arrested.. cannot believe she hasn't been yet. You seem to know just what to do..keep following your instincts.. you know about recovery:grouphug:

ChrrisT 07-24-2010 04:13 AM

My kids are younger - My biggest fear "how to protect them from themselves"
Well along with sexual preditors, disease, natural disasters and acne.

I can't imagine your pain. But you seem incredibly strong.

Learn2Live 07-24-2010 05:35 AM

Are you writing the letter for YOU or for HER?

tjp613 07-24-2010 05:42 AM

Just sending a big warm hug, Wicked. How painful that must have been to see her like that. I'm so sorry :(

wicked 07-24-2010 07:01 AM


"Well Christy, I can see you've been eating toads again". Ha!
coyote21,
foamy toads! hehehehe my dog sees squirrels as her mortal enemy, chases them up a tree and barks at them like they are gonna come back down for a whuppin! :lmao


keep following your instincts.. you know about recovery
thank you keepinon, i am trying. geez, you don't know what she has gotten away with up to now! i mean, that is why she was so shocked about being incarcerated. "What, you never jailed me before!" Well, now is the time.


I can't imagine your pain. But you seem incredibly strong.
Chrisst, I think I am trying to stay strong, and let her do this. My weakness comes when I try to help. This is my daughter's life. Mommy can't do it.


Are you writing the letter for YOU or for HER?
Ah L2L, you might have something there. Yes, I like to think the letter is for her, but using "mommy" is for me and me alone. she only uses mommy when she needs or wants something from me. I called my mother mommy until she died, but that was then, and this is now.



How painful that must have been to see her like that. I'm so sorry
it was painful to see her crying, but that is as "mommy". as a recovering alcoholic, i could see she might actually (not yet) but could get a vision of what her future is if she follows this path to the bitter end.
and thank you for the hugs, i will go to an al-anon meeting today, and get some face to face, and even let people hug me! :scared:


if you swoop in with that fluffy pillow and take away any of the discomfort, you rob HER of the lesson.
anvilhead, here, take this overused pillow and let bucky and della enjoy it. i have no more use for it and neither does my daughter.
she has the strength and the smarts to do this, my hope is she uses her powers for good instead of the same old same old.

tomorrow will be a week since she has been in jail.
i feel strangely serene and peaceful.
i miss my daughter, but not the chaos that comes with her.

Your support really means a lot to me.
thank you.
group hug, cyber style,
:grouphug:


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