lulu1974

Sorry but I have to get this off my chest. I am so angry.

Each month I get the statement from my insurance company..well my medical benefits to be exact. Now stbxah has his own plan thru his job but he is also under mine. So each month I get to see him using MY PLAN to refill his "performance" prescription to use with his girlfriend. I think this is just disgusting. When we were speaking I asked him to stop doing this. My plan is a cheaper copay than his for prescription drugs. But he keeps doing it. How low can one get.

And of course because he was never interested in being with me..it makes me feel so ugly and unlovable. He is obviously very interested in his girlfriend of 5 months because he keeps refilling them. My marriage was practically abstinent. He had zero interest in me. So here come the insecurities.....
UGH!

PS by law I cant take him off my plan until the divorce is final.

hello-kitty

When is the divorce final? Because that SUCKS! (What a jerk!)

lulu1974

not soon enough. his lawyer just replied. still need a court date..maybe 2-3 months?

Freedom1990

I think jerk is too kind of a word for him. I can't repeat what I would call him.

I know it hurts. Please keep repeating to yourself it has nothing to do with you or your desirability, hon!

Kassie2

I know it must be hard to see that but it is just temporary. Understand your complaint. Just a little longer and it will be over.

fourmaggie

should be away to put a RED flag on the insurance plan that its in final notice of a divorce...NO? just trying to help...

suki44883

Are you also under his plan until the divorce is final? If so, how about getting a prescription for birth control pills using his insurance.

lulu1974

That is a good one! No I am not. His plan is expensive to enroll in. My company covers both our plans so that is why he was on mine as well.

suki44883

Well, poop! Okay...are you positive you can't take him off your insurance until the divorce is final? Are you sure it's not just until it is filed? Can you call your insurance representative and ask if anything can be done?

lulu1974

Positive. I checked with my human resources department today and they concur with my lawyer. Its illegal. Unless the divorce is final or I have a baby of other "life circumstances" like him losing his job etc.

Helenlee

If he needs a substance to perform he's not finding the new gf all that desirable either honey.
Maybe it's all about him & nothing to do with you ... in fact, I think it's a compliment he wasn't interested in bonking you ... water always finds it's own level etc.

((((big hug))))

suki44883

Well, erectile dysfunction doesn't really have anything to do with the desirability of one's partner. But, in any case, it does show what a real jerk he is knowing that you will see what he's been doing. Do you have to look at the statements? Can you just ignore them for the next few months until the divorce is final?

naive

hang in there lulu. the end is in sight!

suki44883

For health insurance, it's allowed to have coverage under his own and her policy. One would be primary and the other would pick up what the other one didn't. Families do that all the time. It's not like property insurance where you can only have one insurance policy on your house.

lulu1974

Its ok to have two insurances. I have great coverage and i dont pay into it so we kept it on for him after he started his new job. His new job wanted an extra $200 a month to put me under his so we didnt elect that as my secondary insurance. Its called secondary insurance. And for prescription drugs it doesnt matter which one he uses..
But piece of cr*ap, I wish I never met him! Him and his lieing arse will never speak to me again!! How dare he.

The one thing I can say is good for me for not falling for all his begging back in the beginning of the year..Lets see what he said:
I will never be able to be with another woman I picture gorwing old with you..
I cant take thinking some other man would touch you...
I cry every day at work..I feel like I lost a limb...
I would do anything for you..I will work two jobs to buy you the house you want..
I would love you no matter what you did..
I cry myself to sleep....

This was in January..By march girlfriend entered the picture. Didnt take him long at all.

Quacking and I am proud I didnt take him back. Here's to that great inner voice of mine that told me to be cautious..

What a nightmare. I wish I never met him. The pain one person can cause. Its a tornado. He is like an alien to me. No soul..

lulu1974

I legally can not. My work says its the law and my lawyer said the same thing. If it was enrollment time (ours is year end) then yes I could drop him without ramifications. Why is the law so difficult at times. Ugh

suki44883

Lulu is right. We just had our annual enrollment which is the only time you can make changes to your coverage unless there is a life altering event, such as a death.

Hey! If you kill him, you can delete him from your policy! Okay, okay! Just kidding!!!

lulu1974

would it be horrible is I scanned this statement..attached it in an email..send it to his aunt who raised him and copy him on it and say:
Dear Aunt Betty,
Hope you are well. I was hoping you can help me. Attached you will see the activity on my medical plan for Rich. As you can see, he keeps using MY insurance to refill his viagra. I am sure as a woman you will understand how offensive this is being I am still his legal wife and dont want to see his s*xual activity with his girlfiend. I have asked him to stop doing this but he has not. I would appreciate any help you can provide in this. Many thanks and God Bless.

Would this be too much?
Maybe I can send this to his whole family and copy him on it. Then he would get the point.
I am just kidding .......maybe

suki44883

I can understand how tempting that would be, but it's not really a good idea. His poor old aunt Betty doesn't need to get dragged into this. It's just something you are going to have to suck up and deal with for the time being. There is light at the end of the tunnel though. Only a few short months and you will be free of him and his little blue pills and all the other problems he has. Hang in there, girl!

suki44883

On second thought, you could copy him on it and only pretend to have sent it out to the other folks. He wouldn't know that you didn't really do it. But really...nah. It's best to just take the high road, as sickening as that can be sometimes.