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so I think I am in the right place this time..

Old 07-22-2010, 08:56 AM
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so I think I am in the right place this time..

I posted yesterday in the newcomers and I apologize for posting in the wrong place.
So I am leaving my alcoholic husband because he is really taking an affect on my kids a very negative affect. He is really trying to get me to stay, all those same promises he has been making and breaking for the last 7 years. I am just trying to stay strong and tell him no I will not stay, no I don't believe you when you say to me you won't take another drink, and no I don't believe you when you say wanna quit when just yesterday you said you are fine when you drink unless it is around me. I am just venting I suppose..this is just the hardest choice to make and I wish I didn't have to make it.
My new place will be ready in two weeks. I kinda feel bad for how excited I am to get my own place. I mean no more arguments over anything and everything, no more fighting for control of the situation and above all no more tears from my children for the wrong reasons. I mean yes I know they will be sad to leave daddy but id rather have them sad for a short while leaving daddy then them sad every time he drinks and my god my oldest has even asked me "are you sure daddy loves me?"
WOW..you know just getting it all out and re reading I can see what damage has been done and I know that by leaving I will be preventing so mush more.
I remember after I posted yesterday about my 5year old daughter drawing my husband hearts and rainbows after a blow up the night before, some one commented on how it brought them to tears and after I read it...it was a huge wake up call...my kids are being affected in the worst way, they are thinking its their fault and I cannot allow that anymore.
I am leaving, I am going to heal along with my children and I will always be there for a hand to hold if he wants to quit!
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Old 07-22-2010, 09:01 AM
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Welcome!

I commend you for making the right decision for your children. They are the eyes and ears of the world. They hear and see everything. You are so right, this toxic enviorment is hurting them, and, they deserve so much more.

Keep your resolve, keep posting, we are here for you!

You are a good Mom, be proud!

Dolly
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Old 07-22-2010, 10:41 AM
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Originally Posted by kittymammas View Post
I kinda feel bad for how excited I am to get my own place.
Don't be This is you taking care of yourself and your children.

Welcome to SR!
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Old 07-22-2010, 10:55 AM
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hi kittymammas and WELCOME to SR! This is an awesome place to be for Experience Strength and Support (ESH). I'm glad you're here.

I think it's wonderful that you're beginning a new chapter of your life, for yourself and your children. I know there are feelings of guilt at play (I had them too), but try to gently remind yourself that you are creating a safe and loving environment for your children to grow up in. That's priceless.
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Old 07-22-2010, 11:49 AM
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WELCOME Kitty! I'm glad you found us! If you stick around for awhile I know you'll find the support and friendship you are looking for.

I know it's really hard doing what you are doing now to protect your children and I'm sorry you are going through this. On the other hand, once you get into your new apartment and the children get settled in, you'll be amazed at how things will start looking up!

I was reading your other posts and it sounds like you might be looking for some educational material about addiction/alcoholism? It's very difficult to understand (and forgive) unless you take time to learn the scientific facts about it. HBO did a series on addiction a couple of years ago. If you can get your hands on the DVD's that's awesome...but if you can't, their website has that information and much more and is available 24/7! Here's the link: HBO: Addiction

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying "understand and forgive" in the sense that it encourages you to take him back.... just for your own understanding and to help you make sense of your world.

You're a great mom.
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Old 07-22-2010, 12:28 PM
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Its so hard for me. I have been reading about addiction and trying to understand what he is going through. I have read a few posts on here about other addicts suffering on day 3 and they feel like there world is over...I wish I could help him, I hate knowing how hard this is for him. He is begging me to stay and he is my husband that I love and MORE THAN ANYTHING I just wanna hold him and say its OK we can do this. But I just can't stay any longer. I cant..I want to soo bad but I just I cant.
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Old 07-22-2010, 02:27 PM
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Maybe you should take the "hearts and rainbows" picture and keep it in a prominent place...to help encourage you. (((Hugs)))
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