kias thinking
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kias thinking
just wondered what ppl thought about the paranoia side of things with alchoholics and how common it is and others experiences of it with this illness as well not going into details have no need as u can prob guess one of his dramas which has blown small issue into big one and not justifying it by even explaining it and giving it any more of my time.
Cos i do know with drugs its an issue paranoia didnt know it was as bad with drink though so any thoughts on this please xxxkia
Cos i do know with drugs its an issue paranoia didnt know it was as bad with drink though so any thoughts on this please xxxkia
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From the book "Under The Influence"
Page 21
1.
Once in the blood stream, alcohol is distributed throughout the body in simple diffusion. Its small and relatively simple molecular structure allows it to pass right through cell membranes and mix in the entire water content of the body. The brain, liver, heart, pancreas, lungs, kidneys, and every other organ and tissue system are infiltrated by alcohol within minutes after it passes into the bloodstream.
Alcohol's immediate effect on the brain is most unusual. The brain is usually protected from chemicals and drugs by an electrical-chemical filter system known as "the blood/brain barrier," which makes sure that only very simple molecules such as those of oxygen and water can pass through. The simple molecular structure of alcohol allows it to penetrate this selective screen and gain easy access to the brain and its extension, the spinal cord.
Consequently, alcohol has immediate and profound effects on behavior
Page 21
1.
Once in the blood stream, alcohol is distributed throughout the body in simple diffusion. Its small and relatively simple molecular structure allows it to pass right through cell membranes and mix in the entire water content of the body. The brain, liver, heart, pancreas, lungs, kidneys, and every other organ and tissue system are infiltrated by alcohol within minutes after it passes into the bloodstream.
Alcohol's immediate effect on the brain is most unusual. The brain is usually protected from chemicals and drugs by an electrical-chemical filter system known as "the blood/brain barrier," which makes sure that only very simple molecules such as those of oxygen and water can pass through. The simple molecular structure of alcohol allows it to penetrate this selective screen and gain easy access to the brain and its extension, the spinal cord.
Consequently, alcohol has immediate and profound effects on behavior
Curled up in a good book...
Join Date: Mar 2008
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Kia, the book Pelican quoted is really good if you want to learn about the mechanics of alcoholism. Really eye opening and I'd recommend it alongside Co Dependent No More!
How are YOU doing anyway? Are you taking care of yourself? Being kind to yourself? You know you deserve to treat yourself well! Have you got some good boundaries in place to protect yourself? Having boundaries (or at least attempting to have them!) when I was still with XAH really helped me. I stopped engaging with him when he was drunk and looking for a fight/picking on me etc. I had a plan on how to deal with these situations and stuck to it - XAH knew what I'd do and usually accepted it.
Take care. :ghug3
How are YOU doing anyway? Are you taking care of yourself? Being kind to yourself? You know you deserve to treat yourself well! Have you got some good boundaries in place to protect yourself? Having boundaries (or at least attempting to have them!) when I was still with XAH really helped me. I stopped engaging with him when he was drunk and looking for a fight/picking on me etc. I had a plan on how to deal with these situations and stuck to it - XAH knew what I'd do and usually accepted it.
Take care. :ghug3
Heathen
Join Date: Mar 2009
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Like Carol says, alcohol is a toxin to the body as well as the mind, in alcoholics and non alcoholics alike. It NEVER surprises me what damage it can do.. However, not everything 'off' about an alcoholic is the fault of alcohol either, there can certainly be coexisting conditions untreated as well. As with everything else, the control you have over the situation is your willingness to live with it, or not.
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Join Date: Sep 2009
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Kia, sweetie, you still seem more concerned with his mode of thinking than with your own.
Just as Anvil, and everyone else has basically said, the determined happiness in your life is up to you and no one else.
I really hope you stop worrying about him and start worrying about yourself.
Sending you peace.
Just as Anvil, and everyone else has basically said, the determined happiness in your life is up to you and no one else.
I really hope you stop worrying about him and start worrying about yourself.
Sending you peace.
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im actually very happy atm more so than in along time did my own stuff today and was out all day and turned me phone off so couldnt contact me had the best day massage hair done and good natter with me mate and best of all no way he got of contacting me and when i got back then went to walk the dog and oppsss forgot me phone again seem to be making a habit of that lately just wondered about the paranoia thing but he had hard time trying to control me today was him chasing me for a change im through doing that lifes too short xxxkia
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Originally Posted by bookwyrm 
Kia, the book Pelican quoted is really good if you want to learn about the mechanics of alcoholism. Really eye opening and I'd recommend it alongside Co Dependent No More!
How are YOU doing anyway? Are you taking care of yourself? Being kind to yourself? You know you deserve to treat yourself well! Have you got some good boundaries in place to protect yourself? Having boundaries (or at least attempting to have them!) when I was still with XAH really helped me. I stopped engaging with him when he was drunk and looking for a fight/picking on me etc. I had a plan on how to deal with these situations and stuck to it - XAH knew what I'd do and usually accepted it.
Take care. :ghug3
How are YOU doing anyway? Are you taking care of yourself? Being kind to yourself? You know you deserve to treat yourself well! Have you got some good boundaries in place to protect yourself? Having boundaries (or at least attempting to have them!) when I was still with XAH really helped me. I stopped engaging with him when he was drunk and looking for a fight/picking on me etc. I had a plan on how to deal with these situations and stuck to it - XAH knew what I'd do and usually accepted it.
Take care. :ghug3
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It sounds like a lot of trouble to go through. Boundary after boundary, staying gone and keeping the phone turned off. What's the point of a relationship if you have to avoid them so much and can't spend good quality time together?
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Whew, sounds exhausting to me! I'd rather be working on my own stuff than constantly having to wonder why my bf is doing this, or that. When really, it's all par for the course for someone with an addiction. Nonstop drama drama drama.
Originally Posted by anvilhead
i guess i'm not seeing the point either......being involved with someone that you spend the majority of your time avoiding??? i wonder if there's a hidden agenda here....trying to make him CHASE you, and ACT right?
i suppose tho, it's your thing Kia.......i hope it goes well.
i suppose tho, it's your thing Kia.......i hope it goes well.
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yep it is so i signed out yesterday and no its not as exhausting as it sounds was actually a good day yesterday getting me nails done today for free too the girls learning or something but sounds ok to me though and yes i suppose i was trying to make him see he cant control me i do what i want always will do xxxkia
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kia,
When I was trying to decide what to do about my relationship my therapist said, "no matter how smart you are, remember that alcohol is incredibly insidious."
I didn't know what she meant, really, until I started keeping that in mind...it was true. The disease is way more cunning and insidious than I could ever be. One day of serenity and detachment made my mouth water for more, and I couldn't have it in the relationship. I'm still sad about that, but I hold that reality along with the memories of the "good stuff".
Whatever you decide, remember that the disease is insidious. It will always outsmart and find new ways to creep back in unless the A deals with it head-on. And of course, we have absolutely no control over that. None.
What has worked for me and been my greatest comfort has been the development of my own dream for my own life. If he's a part of your dream then so be it, just understand that it comes with everything that alcohol brings to the dream, too. For a time I tried to give up my dream to accommodate that stuff--telling myself that it was okay/acceptable/I didn't want it anyway--but I won't do that anymore. To me that was akin to abandoning my precious serenity.
Sending you hugs and wishes for inner peacefulness,
posie
When I was trying to decide what to do about my relationship my therapist said, "no matter how smart you are, remember that alcohol is incredibly insidious."
I didn't know what she meant, really, until I started keeping that in mind...it was true. The disease is way more cunning and insidious than I could ever be. One day of serenity and detachment made my mouth water for more, and I couldn't have it in the relationship. I'm still sad about that, but I hold that reality along with the memories of the "good stuff".
Whatever you decide, remember that the disease is insidious. It will always outsmart and find new ways to creep back in unless the A deals with it head-on. And of course, we have absolutely no control over that. None.
What has worked for me and been my greatest comfort has been the development of my own dream for my own life. If he's a part of your dream then so be it, just understand that it comes with everything that alcohol brings to the dream, too. For a time I tried to give up my dream to accommodate that stuff--telling myself that it was okay/acceptable/I didn't want it anyway--but I won't do that anymore. To me that was akin to abandoning my precious serenity.
Sending you hugs and wishes for inner peacefulness,
posie
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Originally Posted by posiesperson
kia,
When I was trying to decide what to do about my relationship my therapist said, "no matter how smart you are, remember that alcohol is incredibly insidious."
I didn't know what she meant, really, until I started keeping that in mind...it was true. The disease is way more cunning and insidious than I could ever be. One day of serenity and detachment made my mouth water for more, and I couldn't have it in the relationship. I'm still sad about that, but I hold that reality along with the memories of the "good stuff".
Whatever you decide, remember that the disease is insidious. It will always outsmart and find new ways to creep back in unless the A deals with it head-on. And of course, we have absolutely no control over that. None.
What has worked for me and been my greatest comfort has been the development of my own dream for my own life. If he's a part of your dream then so be it, just understand that it comes with everything that alcohol brings to the dream, too. For a time I tried to give up my dream to accommodate that stuff--telling myself that it was okay/acceptable/I didn't want it anyway--but I won't do that anymore. To me that was akin to abandoning my precious serenity.
Sending you hugs and wishes for inner peacefulness,
posie
When I was trying to decide what to do about my relationship my therapist said, "no matter how smart you are, remember that alcohol is incredibly insidious."
I didn't know what she meant, really, until I started keeping that in mind...it was true. The disease is way more cunning and insidious than I could ever be. One day of serenity and detachment made my mouth water for more, and I couldn't have it in the relationship. I'm still sad about that, but I hold that reality along with the memories of the "good stuff".
Whatever you decide, remember that the disease is insidious. It will always outsmart and find new ways to creep back in unless the A deals with it head-on. And of course, we have absolutely no control over that. None.
What has worked for me and been my greatest comfort has been the development of my own dream for my own life. If he's a part of your dream then so be it, just understand that it comes with everything that alcohol brings to the dream, too. For a time I tried to give up my dream to accommodate that stuff--telling myself that it was okay/acceptable/I didn't want it anyway--but I won't do that anymore. To me that was akin to abandoning my precious serenity.
Sending you hugs and wishes for inner peacefulness,
posie
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