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short vent......I push him to it...

Old 07-14-2010, 01:49 PM
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short vent......I push him to it...

UGH...can you believe he said that I pushed him to those statements he made...I somehow made him be mean etc...and he believes it!!! This is so frustrated!!
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Old 07-14-2010, 01:55 PM
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*deep breath*

Close your eyes.

Picture a big dumb duck with a big bill and a big butt. Now see it tip from one side to the other. Imagine a ridiculous duck voice.

*waddle waddle waddle* *quack quack quack*

Did that work? I have one more.

Picture him standing there. Face red. Neck veins bulging. Fists in the air. Jumping up and down a little big. Nekkid with a big cloth diaper on. KING BABY having a tantrum because someone wouldn't give him his way.

I might be mean but these always gave me a little laugh when I didn't know what else to do! There is nothing to say, nothing to do, so I had a little imaginary fun.
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Old 07-14-2010, 02:38 PM
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Yeah, mine would tell me how I gave him panic attacks so that's why he cut me out of his life..... for almost a year!
Nooooo, it's because you're a self-centered jacka**.
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Old 07-14-2010, 02:51 PM
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It's because alcoholics have a marked inability to take any responsibility for their actions. Because, if they did, they would have to admit the consequences of their disease on themselves and others. If he recognized how many of these problems were HIS fault, he'd have to admit he has a problem, and he's obviously still in denial.

The disease forces a total psychological maladaptation in the mind of the alcoholic to where the alcoholic will begin to even believe his/her own lies.

This is why programs like AA require brutal honesty. In the big book, it says, there are some people who are constitutionally incapable of being honest w/themselves. Those people have a much lower chance of recovery.
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Old 07-14-2010, 03:01 PM
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Though too....it seems they, or many of them, will ONLY take responsibility for their actions IF it means they get something out of it.
It was only when my XA wanted me back in his life (as a friend) that he was all of a sudden telling me I had every right to feel the way I did and he was a coward. But before that, when he didn't want me in his life, I was "psychotic".

Sadly, it's all a manipulation. Everything is always a manipulation..... it seems to me at least.
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Old 07-14-2010, 03:12 PM
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Originally Posted by Kittyboo View Post
Sadly, it's all a manipulation. Everything is always a manipulation..... it seems to me at least.
Isn't that the truth. My xah didn't really say mean things to me when we were together. After I file for divorce he'd be nice, then get ugly, then be nice, want to win me back, then say mean and awful things. Emotional manipulation and abusive tactics is a strange way to win someone back but - he's a loon. I'm so glad I'm out of that situation. It is sad though.
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Old 07-14-2010, 04:21 PM
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Originally Posted by Kittyboo View Post
Though too....it seems they, or many of them, will ONLY take responsibility for their actions IF it means they get something out of it.
It was only when my XA wanted me back in his life (as a friend) that he was all of a sudden telling me I had every right to feel the way I did and he was a coward. But before that, when he didn't want me in his life, I was "psychotic".

Sadly, it's all a manipulation. Everything is always a manipulation..... it seems to me at least.
YES! I'm psychotic as well. We should start a club.
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Old 07-14-2010, 05:08 PM
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Feedback Please

Hi

Today I learned that my ex (not my exA, but the non-A before him) just had a child with his wife.

We split because I wanted to get married and have kids. He didn't but wanted the status quo. We kept that going for almost a decade before I started dating other people (the A) who wanted to be married and have kids.

I feel hurt and sort of numb right now. He lied to me all of those years about children. He would end things because I wanted a family and he didn't. He told me that I couldn't handle a relationship like ours. Arghh! He is 14 years older than I am. I was 22 when we started dating.

He used me and I was too young to understand what was going on. I really believed him. I feel sick to my stomach now that I write this out.

What the hell is wrong with me?
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Old 07-14-2010, 05:10 PM
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wrong post spot

sorry
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Old 07-14-2010, 06:16 PM
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Of course he will blame you and anyone else for his problems.

m.i.c.k.e.y.........m.o.u.s.e, Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck...... (Anyone remember that show/song?)
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Old 07-14-2010, 06:19 PM
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peace-
B
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Old 07-14-2010, 06:47 PM
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Aaarrrgh!

Originally Posted by gerryP View Post
Of course he will blame you and anyone else for his problems.

m.i.c.k.e.y.........m.o.u.s.e, Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck...... (Anyone remember that show/song?)


of course i do!
and now it will be stuck in my head forever!



Beth

hehehehehe
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Old 07-14-2010, 06:56 PM
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Originally Posted by sandrawg View Post
alcoholics have a marked inability to take any responsibility for their actions.
ONE thing I learned in the beginning of my AL ANON recovery is this...
this is a HONEST PROGRAM if you cant be honest...the what is the use of all of this then.......

this is applied in AA also....its a HONEST Program....
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Old 07-14-2010, 07:01 PM
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Originally Posted by fourmaggie View Post
ONE thing I learned in the beginning of my AL ANON recovery is this...
this is a HONEST PROGRAM if you cant be honest...the what is the use of all of this then.......

this is applied in AA also....its a HONEST Program....
Yes, beautifully said fourmaggie.
Honest in all our affairs.
Yep.

Beth
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Old 07-14-2010, 08:18 PM
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Beth,

It's playing over and over in my head too.
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Old 07-14-2010, 09:09 PM
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Gee whizz, ta for the tune weaving in and out my head.

May I join the SR Psycho's Club? I copped that and also menapausal....tests showed I went thru that without knowing it, and was Post menapausal.

I could have stayed that way....had a looong pause with men. Now that is men-a-pausal in a way.

I would play him at his own game, eg he ignores anything you say, denies he has faults and chucks blame at you.....go same way and tell him to go quack elsewhere.

Yes, I am working on Dumb Duck and King Baby images, as they sound perfect.

God bless
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Old 07-14-2010, 09:33 PM
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I say 'Men on Pause'

M.I.C.K.E.Y.M.O.U.S.E, Mickey Mou.....opps, there I go again.
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Old 07-14-2010, 11:46 PM
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Me too! He even threatened to send me to the psych ward, when HE was the one acting crazy...throwing things at me....shooting a squirt gun at me....calling me names...screaming so loud, I'm sure it must have woken the neighbors...

Originally Posted by Mataleao View Post
YES! I'm psychotic as well. We should start a club.
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Old 07-16-2010, 10:21 AM
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I always know that when he rants and raves and gets angry with me, I need to go to my safe self and be completely detached from him. The King Baby and Duck visual will help immensely.
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Old 07-16-2010, 11:27 AM
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listen to Mel Gibsons rants..SHE made him this way.. Its HER fault!Ex wife even wrote letter to the court supporting him..YIKES!!! The everlovin insanity of it all!
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