WHY do the 12 steps work??
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Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,103
WHY do the 12 steps work??
Today as I've been working on my 2nd step, I started wondering why the 12 steps work so well.
It actually occurred to me...I used to have an anxiety disorder. I was put on meds for it..that was a BIG mistake. My whole life came tumbling down because I tried to medicate my fear, rather than learning how to live with it.
Actually, the best, most effective therapy for anxiety has proven to be CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), where you actually do some work to change your thoughts, which changes your feelings, which changes your behavior. It's all about adopting a whole new world view. Instead of obsessing over worst case scenarios about some unknown, which makes you afraid, why not consider the best possible outcome? Our worst fears are hardly ever realized, anyway.
See, I think addiction is a fear-based disease. I think people are afraid to face the normal pains and issues of life, so they self-medicate with drugs and alcohol. Codependents are afraid of what will happen to the alcoholic or addict they're addicted to, so they develop crazy behaviors that are harmful to both themselves and the addict.
The 12 steps remind me of a form of CBT, in that the goal is to change your thinking, which will therefore result in a change in your behavior. Thus it makes sense that WORKING the 12 steps, just as you would work a process of CBT, would be effective against addiction.
What do you guys think??
It actually occurred to me...I used to have an anxiety disorder. I was put on meds for it..that was a BIG mistake. My whole life came tumbling down because I tried to medicate my fear, rather than learning how to live with it.
Actually, the best, most effective therapy for anxiety has proven to be CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), where you actually do some work to change your thoughts, which changes your feelings, which changes your behavior. It's all about adopting a whole new world view. Instead of obsessing over worst case scenarios about some unknown, which makes you afraid, why not consider the best possible outcome? Our worst fears are hardly ever realized, anyway.
See, I think addiction is a fear-based disease. I think people are afraid to face the normal pains and issues of life, so they self-medicate with drugs and alcohol. Codependents are afraid of what will happen to the alcoholic or addict they're addicted to, so they develop crazy behaviors that are harmful to both themselves and the addict.
The 12 steps remind me of a form of CBT, in that the goal is to change your thinking, which will therefore result in a change in your behavior. Thus it makes sense that WORKING the 12 steps, just as you would work a process of CBT, would be effective against addiction.
What do you guys think??
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A link to this article was posted here on SR not too long ago.... I found it VERY interesting reading: Secret of AA: After 75 Years, We Don’t Know How It Works | Magazine
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I too think it really is retraining your brain to think differntly. It really reminds me alot of buddihsm.. the worry and striving and grasping brings suffering. I wan't sure about the alanon program, I'm not religious, but I saw the people ther and they wer HAPPY..I was MISERABLE and decided to give it a try.. I feel better than I have in along time.. bottom line..surrendering works.
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Funny timing as I was just thinking about this very same thing last night. Was watching a reality drama called obsessed, about OCD. They take 2 cases and profile them through their CBT. The therapist doesn't allow the people to perform their compulsive behaviours and then helps them work through the anxiety until they are calm. I thought this was rather the way I felt a lot of the time - I felt compelled to check on my AH, search his stuff, check his email etc. After getting help in al anon I was able to not go through with doing any of it, and working through my fears/worries. I saw lots of parallels.
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Agree... Also gives people a reason stay out of the bars while their brains rewire and the body heals; great social support as well. Numerous CBT studies have shown that group CBT is better than individual sessions for addiction. Any one else hate the iphone's auto spell check? If you get well in AA you suddenly realize how sick the average AAer really is. Accordingly pick a sponsor wisely and don't be afraid to swap out.
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IMHO, whether the 12 steps work or not is entirely dependent on the person. Just like there are some alcoholics who go to AA for years and never get sober, there are codependents who go the Alanon for years and never change. There are also alcoholics who get sober without ever setting foot in an AA meeting, and codependents who completely change without so much as one Alanon meeting.
I like to think of the 12 steps as one path to recovery. And it works for those who are committed to recovery. But, it's not the only path. There are many. And none of them will work unless you are committed to doing "whatever it takes" to recover.
My two cents.
L
I like to think of the 12 steps as one path to recovery. And it works for those who are committed to recovery. But, it's not the only path. There are many. And none of them will work unless you are committed to doing "whatever it takes" to recover.
My two cents.
L
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Midwest
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Originally Posted by tigger11 
This is a good thread for people like me who have studiously avoided the 12 steps. (confession time)
I've been reading "Codependent No More"... it's been a real kick in the gut... and a lot of internal work... it has helped ME get my head on a little more straight.
I do believe in the 12 steps working for many people... fine examples and inspiration shown and shared by members of SR on a daily basis. Evidently... I'm not ready to go there yet.
baby steps...baby steps...baby steps....
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
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I think your OP was RIGHT ON Sandrawg; makes TOTAL sense to me.
I'd like to add that, for me, the "miracle," or the essence, of 12-Steps has been that my eyes were opened to mySELF, and I have been able to see and accept ME (for the most part) ever since. Yes, it gave me a new way of perceiving my world and what was happening in it. And secondly (and equally as important) it allowed me to see how I have the "habit" of making (and even recently have made) OTHER PEOPLE my Higher Power (which is my understanding/definition of MY OWN Codependency). I have come to realize that this making other people my HP is VERY subtle and I hardly realize that I am doing it at the time, because I CALL it something OTHER THAN what it really is. In most cases, I call it, "Falling in love." Now, I am able to not do that. I have a non-human Higher Power, and I can accept others as simply HUMAN and take full responsibility for ALL of my choices and behaviors.
So, I am better able to comprehend the Steps in relation to my Codependency, and further apply that understanding to my alcoholism.
GREAT TOPIC!!! Thanks for sharing. See why I am so glad you are back to SR?
I'd like to add that, for me, the "miracle," or the essence, of 12-Steps has been that my eyes were opened to mySELF, and I have been able to see and accept ME (for the most part) ever since. Yes, it gave me a new way of perceiving my world and what was happening in it. And secondly (and equally as important) it allowed me to see how I have the "habit" of making (and even recently have made) OTHER PEOPLE my Higher Power (which is my understanding/definition of MY OWN Codependency). I have come to realize that this making other people my HP is VERY subtle and I hardly realize that I am doing it at the time, because I CALL it something OTHER THAN what it really is. In most cases, I call it, "Falling in love." Now, I am able to not do that. I have a non-human Higher Power, and I can accept others as simply HUMAN and take full responsibility for ALL of my choices and behaviors.
So, I am better able to comprehend the Steps in relation to my Codependency, and further apply that understanding to my alcoholism.
GREAT TOPIC!!! Thanks for sharing. See why I am so glad you are back to SR?
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Sand: great thread and in my opinion, you're bang on with this analogy.
I'm not so much a believer anymore in this whole "I'm a codie" perspective and more a believer in "unhealthy thoughts and perspectives"
I once spoke to a spiritual teacher who told me "Miracles are only a chance in perception"
The 12 steps should be taught in school at a young age to give everyone a healthy focus
I'm not so much a believer anymore in this whole "I'm a codie" perspective and more a believer in "unhealthy thoughts and perspectives"
I once spoke to a spiritual teacher who told me "Miracles are only a chance in perception"
The 12 steps should be taught in school at a young age to give everyone a healthy focus
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Originally Posted by sandrawg
I started wondering why the 12 steps work so well
for having a spiritual awakening as the result of taking those Steps, but it doesn't contain a chapter called 'Why it Works'.
I don't believe that is an oversight.
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I'm working this version of the steps right now. Kinda stuck on the 2nd but I know I'll get through it.
Originally Posted by anvilhead
Did ya ever check out the PROACTIVE version of the 12 steps?
Step 1:
I realize I'm stuck. It makes no sense to keep trying to solve my problems with "solutions" that aren't working.
Original wording (AA):
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol--that our lives had become unmanageable.
Codependency:
We admitted we were powerless over others - that our lives had become unmanageable.
Generic version:
We admitted we were powerless over things we believed we should control -- that our lives had become unmanageable.
commentary
Step 2:
I'm willing to let go of my usual ways, in the hope that this will help me see things from a broader perspective.
Original wording (AA):
Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
commentary
Step 3:
I shift my focus, from being fixated on my problems, to
seeking a sense of wholeness and contentment in my life.
Original wording (AA):
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of our Higher Power as we understood this Higher Power.
commentary
Step 4:
I honestly look at the effects of my actions on others and myself.
Original wording (AA):
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
commentary
Step 5:
I take responsibility for my actions.
Original wording (AA):
Admitted to our Higher Power, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
commentary
Step 6:
I see that my knee-jerk reactions have to do with being in the grip of more or less conscious fears.
Original wording (AA):
Were entirely ready to have our Higher Power remove all these defects of character.
commentary
Step 7:
I strive to find my motivation in a deeper sense of who I
really am, rather than fear and defensiveness.
Original wording (AA):
Humbly asked our Higher Power to remove our shortcomings.
commentary
Step 8:
I stop blaming and feeling blamed, with a willingness to heal the wounds.
Original wording (AA):
Made a list of all the people we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
commentary
Step 9:
I swallow my pride, and sincerely apologize to people I've hurt, except when it would be counterproductive.
Original wording (AA):
Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
commentary
Step 10:
I live mindfully, paying attention to the motives and effects of my actions.
Original wording (AA):
Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
commentary
Step 11:
I stay tuned inside, in touch with a broader sense of who I really am, and a deeper sense of what I really want.
Original wording (AA):
Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with our Higher Power as we understood this Higher Power, praying only for knowledge of this Higher Power's will for us and the power to carry that out.
commentary
Step 12:
As I feel better about myself, I reach out to others who feel stuck.
Original wording (AA & others):
Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to other (alcoholics, codependents, people who feel stuck...); and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
commentary
The Proactive 12 Steps are an alternative inspired by the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anolymous and other addiction programs.
Step 1:
I realize I'm stuck. It makes no sense to keep trying to solve my problems with "solutions" that aren't working.
Original wording (AA):
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol--that our lives had become unmanageable.
Codependency:
We admitted we were powerless over others - that our lives had become unmanageable.
Generic version:
We admitted we were powerless over things we believed we should control -- that our lives had become unmanageable.
commentary
Step 2:
I'm willing to let go of my usual ways, in the hope that this will help me see things from a broader perspective.
Original wording (AA):
Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
commentary
Step 3:
I shift my focus, from being fixated on my problems, to
seeking a sense of wholeness and contentment in my life.
Original wording (AA):
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of our Higher Power as we understood this Higher Power.
commentary
Step 4:
I honestly look at the effects of my actions on others and myself.
Original wording (AA):
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
commentary
Step 5:
I take responsibility for my actions.
Original wording (AA):
Admitted to our Higher Power, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
commentary
Step 6:
I see that my knee-jerk reactions have to do with being in the grip of more or less conscious fears.
Original wording (AA):
Were entirely ready to have our Higher Power remove all these defects of character.
commentary
Step 7:
I strive to find my motivation in a deeper sense of who I
really am, rather than fear and defensiveness.
Original wording (AA):
Humbly asked our Higher Power to remove our shortcomings.
commentary
Step 8:
I stop blaming and feeling blamed, with a willingness to heal the wounds.
Original wording (AA):
Made a list of all the people we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
commentary
Step 9:
I swallow my pride, and sincerely apologize to people I've hurt, except when it would be counterproductive.
Original wording (AA):
Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
commentary
Step 10:
I live mindfully, paying attention to the motives and effects of my actions.
Original wording (AA):
Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
commentary
Step 11:
I stay tuned inside, in touch with a broader sense of who I really am, and a deeper sense of what I really want.
Original wording (AA):
Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with our Higher Power as we understood this Higher Power, praying only for knowledge of this Higher Power's will for us and the power to carry that out.
commentary
Step 12:
As I feel better about myself, I reach out to others who feel stuck.
Original wording (AA & others):
Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to other (alcoholics, codependents, people who feel stuck...); and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
commentary
The Proactive 12 Steps are an alternative inspired by the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anolymous and other addiction programs.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 255
This is an interesting topic. My AW was diagnosed about 25 years ago with OCD. She also had depression, panic attacks and (in my opinion) hypochondria. It finally got so bad that she sought the help of a psychiatrist. This particular Doctor, and those she has seen since, chose the medication route.
While the medicine kept her disorder in check, it never cured it. She gradually became unable to work, and then became an alcoholic.
I wonder sometimes if things might have turned out differently had her original doctor chosen some type of behavioral therapy instead of pills. Who knows?
While the medicine kept her disorder in check, it never cured it. She gradually became unable to work, and then became an alcoholic.
I wonder sometimes if things might have turned out differently had her original doctor chosen some type of behavioral therapy instead of pills. Who knows?
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,292
TeM: Personally, I think medications to treat depression and or anxiety or OCD is good to get over the hump, but these issues can never EVER be solved with meds.
It takes "elbow" grease to overcome these disorders.
The 12 steps are the "elbow grease" and meds are the "booze"
My opinion is not to offend anyone on meds. For me, I made the choice to fight my serious panic disorder and depression without any medication. Had I drugged myself up, I would have never gone to battle and faced it and overcome most of it.
It takes "elbow" grease to overcome these disorders.
The 12 steps are the "elbow grease" and meds are the "booze"
My opinion is not to offend anyone on meds. For me, I made the choice to fight my serious panic disorder and depression without any medication. Had I drugged myself up, I would have never gone to battle and faced it and overcome most of it.
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