The Power Of Goodbye.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 29
The Power Of Goodbye.
He would not face me,so I wrote him a long message on Facebook. Basically pouring out my feelings to him,and telling him Goodbye.
The only thing he said to me? And this was regarding getting my things back..
"Okay. We will figure this out"
I should not have expected much. I did though.
It's okay. This is finally about ME taking charge and saying no more. He is free to drink/do whatever drugs he can get/and get close to his "crush"
I feel like crying,but I feel like a weight as been lifted off of me. I'm sure it will take a lot of time to heal,but I will survive.
Anyone going through the same thing,I've been listening to Madonna's "Power Of Goodbye" I highly suggest it.
"There's no greater power,than the power of Goodbye"
The only thing he said to me? And this was regarding getting my things back..
"Okay. We will figure this out"
I should not have expected much. I did though.
It's okay. This is finally about ME taking charge and saying no more. He is free to drink/do whatever drugs he can get/and get close to his "crush"
I feel like crying,but I feel like a weight as been lifted off of me. I'm sure it will take a lot of time to heal,but I will survive.
Anyone going through the same thing,I've been listening to Madonna's "Power Of Goodbye" I highly suggest it.
"There's no greater power,than the power of Goodbye"
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,103
Music, I totally relate to all the things you are feeling.
It is never easy to end a relationship, but even harder when there is addiction or alcoholism that broke you up.
It's been 3 months for me, and I still break down crying. I was watching the movie City of Angels last night. BAD IDEA. That has to be one of the saddest movies ever. Nicolas Cage was an angel, but he becomes human to be with the woman he loves-he sacrifices his lofty place in heaven just for her.
I started thinking, it seems like people only sacrifice for love in the movies. I dunno, I got really sad. It's not like I was asking my ex to even MAKE a sacrifice...just to give up his addiction, which had caused him so much pain and trouble..but I guess that's why they call it an "addiction". It's incredibly hard to give up.
It is never easy to end a relationship, but even harder when there is addiction or alcoholism that broke you up.
It's been 3 months for me, and I still break down crying. I was watching the movie City of Angels last night. BAD IDEA. That has to be one of the saddest movies ever. Nicolas Cage was an angel, but he becomes human to be with the woman he loves-he sacrifices his lofty place in heaven just for her.
I started thinking, it seems like people only sacrifice for love in the movies. I dunno, I got really sad. It's not like I was asking my ex to even MAKE a sacrifice...just to give up his addiction, which had caused him so much pain and trouble..but I guess that's why they call it an "addiction". It's incredibly hard to give up.
Originally Posted by MusicIslove82 
He would not face me,so I wrote him a long message on Facebook. Basically pouring out my feelings to him,and telling him Goodbye.
The only thing he said to me? And this was regarding getting my things back..
"Okay. We will figure this out"
I should not have expected much. I did though.
It's okay. This is finally about ME taking charge and saying no more. He is free to drink/do whatever drugs he can get/and get close to his "crush"
I feel like crying,but I feel like a weight as been lifted off of me. I'm sure it will take a lot of time to heal,but I will survive.
Anyone going through the same thing,I've been listening to Madonna's "Power Of Goodbye" I highly suggest it.
"There's no greater power,than the power of Goodbye"
The only thing he said to me? And this was regarding getting my things back..
"Okay. We will figure this out"
I should not have expected much. I did though.
It's okay. This is finally about ME taking charge and saying no more. He is free to drink/do whatever drugs he can get/and get close to his "crush"
I feel like crying,but I feel like a weight as been lifted off of me. I'm sure it will take a lot of time to heal,but I will survive.
Anyone going through the same thing,I've been listening to Madonna's "Power Of Goodbye" I highly suggest it.
"There's no greater power,than the power of Goodbye"
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,103
Don't know if this is the right song, but I can definitely relate to it! " I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know...pls don't say you're sorry...I've heard it all before.." mmm hmm!
YouTube - Madonna - Sorry official video clip HQ
YouTube - Madonna - Sorry official video clip HQ
I Love Who I Am
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
I Love Who I Am
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
And this one always works for me too, all though it might be a trigger for recovering addicts or alcoholics, just because she's drinking in it and making trouble. Not exactly al anon approved, but it sure worked for me for a short. while. Maybe I should be treating myself with these songs again, this was an empowered part of my life. I know I could do ANYTHING.
YouTube - P!nk - So What
YouTube - P!nk - So What
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 27
Music,
I'm relatively new to this site and I just wanted to say I feel your pain. It's been about 2 months since I last saw my ex. After a year and a half, he could have cared less that I walked away. Of course he acted like "good riddance" just days after speaking of his love for me, our future, his plans for us. Blah, blah.
I'm not anxious all the time. My nerves have calmed. I'm functioning better at work and with family. I am, still, sad at times. It's hard. Hang in there...
I'm relatively new to this site and I just wanted to say I feel your pain. It's been about 2 months since I last saw my ex. After a year and a half, he could have cared less that I walked away. Of course he acted like "good riddance" just days after speaking of his love for me, our future, his plans for us. Blah, blah.
I'm not anxious all the time. My nerves have calmed. I'm functioning better at work and with family. I am, still, sad at times. It's hard. Hang in there...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 29
*Huge hugs for you all*
I'm so sorry you're all going through this too. It hurts so badly to think that he is not hurting as much as I am over all this. I just think he simply does not care.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't crying while I write this. Why does it feel like MY fault? Wait,I know the answer. The alcoholic will twist things around and blame YOU for THEIR actions.
Sand,I absolutely LOVE City Of Angels. It makes me cry everytime I watch it. I noticed it was on too,but I decided to skip viewing it.
DK,yes honey. That's basically how I am feeling now,too. I want to be able to "function" again. I have so much I want out of life. I just can't keep falling apart and crying. But I suppose this is part of the healing process.
Trans,great music suggestions! Thank you Dear. I have a few good ones too,but I'm a bit too tired to type them out. I'm going to go attempt sleep.
Be well all.
I'm so sorry you're all going through this too. It hurts so badly to think that he is not hurting as much as I am over all this. I just think he simply does not care.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't crying while I write this. Why does it feel like MY fault? Wait,I know the answer. The alcoholic will twist things around and blame YOU for THEIR actions.
Sand,I absolutely LOVE City Of Angels. It makes me cry everytime I watch it. I noticed it was on too,but I decided to skip viewing it.
DK,yes honey. That's basically how I am feeling now,too. I want to be able to "function" again. I have so much I want out of life. I just can't keep falling apart and crying. But I suppose this is part of the healing process.
Trans,great music suggestions! Thank you Dear. I have a few good ones too,but I'm a bit too tired to type them out. I'm going to go attempt sleep.
Be well all.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 545
It's okay. This is finally about ME taking charge and saying no more. He is free to drink/do whatever drugs he can get/and get close to his "crush"
I feel like crying,but I feel like a weight as been lifted off of me. I'm sure it will take a lot of time to heal,but I will survive.
These two songs do it for me! I'm not a huge fan of Madonna... but these kick butt
Madonna... "Bye Bye Baby"...
YouTube - Madonna - Bye Bye Baby
Madonna "Words"...
YouTube - Madonna - Words
I Love Who I Am
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
I choreographed a street performance to Bye Bye Baby in 1989-we had a ball. Loved hearing it again, thank you. Does it make you feel good to see me cry? I think it does. That's why it's time to say goodbye...It's the first time and the last time you'll ever see me cry
And I LOVE City of Angels. Someday it will not make you sad. Even though I'm concerned right now about being able to maintain NC and sanity from my AH, I KNOW someday I will experience that sort of unyielding love. It's not just in the movies, sandrg. You have to know your worth.
But, as the ever so wise DesertEyes has reminded me: I don't have to stay away from him forever. Or for the rest of my life. Just right now.
Ah, that's better.
And I LOVE City of Angels. Someday it will not make you sad. Even though I'm concerned right now about being able to maintain NC and sanity from my AH, I KNOW someday I will experience that sort of unyielding love. It's not just in the movies, sandrg. You have to know your worth.
But, as the ever so wise DesertEyes has reminded me: I don't have to stay away from him forever. Or for the rest of my life. Just right now.
Ah, that's better.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 29
I choreographed a street performance to Bye Bye Baby in 1989-we had a ball.
Oh how I love Music.(I think my user name is a give away of that)
Another good Madonna one is "You'll see" Or "Take A Bow"
I've been listening to a lot of Alanis,Fiona Apple,India.Arie. Another good song for all of this is evanesence "Call me when you're sober"
I've been trying to do more for myself. I've put in some job applications.(I haven't worked for a bit because of my illness)
But for some reason,I keep blaming myself for what happened with the X. I could have been more supportive of his Grandmother passing,but he did not ALLOW ME TO BE. Plus he was acting like an A$$ long before she passed on. I just keep having the sinking feeling I could have done more. I'm also feeling I LACK something.
I'm trying to convience and remind myself that it isn't ME. It's probably not even about the "other girl" I believe that he obviously doesn't know how to treat a GOOD relationship,so he decides to chase that which he can not have.
It hurts. Ugh. I guess I sound like a broken record. For that I apologize.
I love this place and all of you. You,plus some dear friends of mine have been so much help to me. And I thank you.
I Love Who I Am
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
I just keep having the sinking feeling I could have done more. I'm also feeling I LACK something.
I forgive you for not knowing then what you know now.
But I need reminding when engulfed in self criticism. I recently had a melt down here at SR about my behavior. I was afraid I can't change.
But I can. And so can you. Just keep coming here and posting and being honest with yourself. And we love you too.
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