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When did everyone around me start using?

Old 07-10-2010, 11:15 PM
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When did everyone around me start using?

I just joined this site tonight. It feels like I am in a foreign land...like everything has been turned upside down.

I have a son, a sister-in-law and a best friend all using some substance to "cope" with life.

My son is smoking marijuana to "keep from being so angry and stressed"

My sister in law wont admit to smoking Meth...but people have told me she is and she definately has signs (I am learning what they are by searching the web). I have her daughter 80 percent of the time and am afraid to let my daughter go over their house any longer.

My best friend has always been what she calls a "binge drinker" and thru out our long friendship has times where she falls off the wagon and drinks for days on end and then sobers up. She has recently changed her MO and has left home for weeks and returned and now left again...staying with "friends" she has met out drinking. She is like another person and I don't know what to make of it.

I don't want to be an enabaler...but I am lost. Where do I start?

Help please:rotfxko
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Old 07-11-2010, 12:11 AM
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I know what you mean. I live in L.A., and it seems like everyone smokes pot here. When I used to query my xbf about why he drank so much, he's say "well, I can't smoke pot, cuz it makes me sick."

It's like, HUH? You either have to have 1 or the other top cope? What is WRONG w/our society?

Then I heard on NPR that although we are only 5% of the world's population, the US consumes 2/3rds of its illegal drugs. Can you believe that? 2/3rds!

It makes sense tho esp if you consider alcohol a drug. Everyone I know drinks. Many of them to excess, too often. The younger generation seems even worse (I'm 43).

Our society has become a nation of pill-poppers, too. Look at all the drug ads. It's like we can't figure out how to deal with the stress and anxiety of our problems, without resorting to pills, legal or otherwise.
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Old 07-11-2010, 02:14 AM
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Where to start? Well, have a read of the stickied posts at the top of the forum. There is a wealth of information there. Reading these posts helped me see that my situation wasn't unique. I wasn't alone in this any more! I'd also recommend getting and reading a copy of Co dependent No More by Melody Beattie. It's a really powerful, life changing book. A must read for anyone with an addict in their life.

I'm so glad you found this forum - it has helped me so much, I'm sure it will help you too!
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Old 07-11-2010, 02:19 AM
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Welcome to the SR family!

Pull out your keyboard and make yourself at home. You will find lots of information and support for yourself here.

This link is from one of our permanent (sticky) posted at the top of the forum:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html

Some of our stories and lots of wisdom are in the sticky posts. Please feel free to post and read as much as needed. We are here to support you!
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Old 07-11-2010, 03:16 AM
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hi kdka-

i must agree, it seems recently that more of the people around me are using substances or one kind or the other to excess. i feel humanity is under a lot of stress and this is one coping mechanism.

the hard way, to face this world sober, appears to be too much for many. if it's not alcohol, it's pot and if it's not pot, it's pain killers, heroin, opiates, synthetic drugs, pharmaceuticals, codeine, tamazapam, valium long term, etc...

they dull themselves so that they don't have to deal with their emotions. they use drugs as a crutch, to cheat or escape life.

life is hard to face straight on, as everyone here can attest to.

for those of us facing life as it is, i think we must very much follow our own internal compass as we are surrounded by people of poor judgement, substance abusers, who have become foggy, un-wise, un-reliable, and half of themselves.

i also feel like a stranger amongst the chemically-altered masses. i find it a bit lonely actually, as conversations and real-ationships with the chemically-altered are unfulfilling on deep levels. in relationship with the chemically-dependent, the relating only goes so far before the underlying emotional imbalance the chemically-dependent person is seeking to escape rears it's ugly head.

then the relationship goes flat because the other person is not willing to deal with this emotional damage. rather, they'll just get stoned or drunk and everything is cool again.

their unreliableness makes it lonely for me too, because we know we can't count on them 100% because perhaps they are drunk or stoned. we must handle everything ourselves without their assistance. sometimes, if they are not drunk or stoned they are helpful, but we never know when they will become unreliable.
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Old 07-11-2010, 05:22 AM
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I am a senior, I am amazed at how many seniors are on prescription drugs, Xanax, Valuim, oxy, morphine and so on. Many abuse these drugs, yet their mantra is "My Doctor Prescribed Them". They go from 1 Doctor to another and get meds from all over the place.

It's no wonder that they cannot remember where they live and who they are!

I too, would suggest meetings, and keep posting here, it will help.
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Old 07-11-2010, 05:55 AM
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I know what you mean KDKA.

I kind of want to get a tattoo on my forehead that says "If you are living in reality come and talk to me. I'm living in reality to"

Everyone's off their faces
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Old 07-12-2010, 08:26 AM
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I agree too. Now that I understand that the majority of alcoholics aren't homeless people living on the fringes of society; they are people with jobs and families, I am better at picking them. It's not that I see them abuse it; it is an attitude they have. The priority of people at work is 'let's celebrate' and the excuses for the after work drinks are getting more and more pathetic; and it sounds like the nights are getting messier. I am in danger of turning into judge and juror. I try and think "Well I don't live with them so why does it bother me? My life is good," but it does bother me. I figure it means I have to recover more to get rid of the negativity. It's taking others inventory to avoid looking at myself.
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