Single Parenting Struggles
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,443
Life isn't to much different to be honest - and actually a little (a lot to be honest) easier without the stress and added energy of living with an A.
Financially I am actually better off. Since no longer financing a never ending supply of Budweiser I bought a new car
The hard part is just the relentlessness of it. Sun up to sun down and then some. Doing for kids. Working. Taking care of house. Taking care of lawn (I will say I did not do one iota of lawn care before - that is the one thing my xah did). My children are young (4yo, 4yo, 9yo, 11yo) and the divorce is new and they are insecure and unfortunately I was not able to take a leave of absense from work. Forunate to have a job though! However, they are very needy right now and at me and phsyically on me ALL THE TIME. So I get frazzled from that sometimes. All boys and at least one with ADHD. They outnumber me 4 to 1 so getting out of the house, is..uh..interesting. I wouldn't trade it though. Last weekend and 2 nights this week my xah has had them. That was the first full weekend he has taken them and now these 2 nights. It has been a nice break for me.
Financially I am actually better off. Since no longer financing a never ending supply of Budweiser I bought a new car
The hard part is just the relentlessness of it. Sun up to sun down and then some. Doing for kids. Working. Taking care of house. Taking care of lawn (I will say I did not do one iota of lawn care before - that is the one thing my xah did). My children are young (4yo, 4yo, 9yo, 11yo) and the divorce is new and they are insecure and unfortunately I was not able to take a leave of absense from work. Forunate to have a job though! However, they are very needy right now and at me and phsyically on me ALL THE TIME. So I get frazzled from that sometimes. All boys and at least one with ADHD. They outnumber me 4 to 1 so getting out of the house, is..uh..interesting. I wouldn't trade it though. Last weekend and 2 nights this week my xah has had them. That was the first full weekend he has taken them and now these 2 nights. It has been a nice break for me.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 693
I was going to say all of the above too--minus the tantrums of a grown man. I am now supporting 2 boys instead of 2 boys and one overgrown baby. Yes, there are times I am exhuasted and I REALLY do not want to mow the lawn. I had thought of a condo but my kids have some mental health issues we are working on and it is hard for people to understand they are not making that much noise on purpose.
BUT I can lay on the couch with my kids and watch movies and laugh without someone coming in and changing he channel. My kids do not have to run to their rooms because they are afraid of Daddy. I have just started to settle into our new home and it is finally hitting me that this is our haven and the insanity stays outside the door. Yep, we need to watch our pennies but that also means that if I can scrape enough money off the floor of the car to go out for ice cream it is a big treat and even more cause for laughter as we try to taste what the other person got (stbxah would have a fit if someone tried to take food away from him--he is the kind of person who eats and gives the scraps to the kids).
They do grow up way too fast and that is what I have the hardest time with--but am working on. Letting the housework sit on the weekends when I have the kids because during the week there is the usual hurry, hurry, hurry. I was resenting that stbxah is such a pizza and movie dad and then kicked myself and told myself that housework could wait until he had the kids--and now I play with my kids on the weekend. The dustbunnies can wait a week (although that darn lawn never seems to be able to
)
BUT I can lay on the couch with my kids and watch movies and laugh without someone coming in and changing he channel. My kids do not have to run to their rooms because they are afraid of Daddy. I have just started to settle into our new home and it is finally hitting me that this is our haven and the insanity stays outside the door. Yep, we need to watch our pennies but that also means that if I can scrape enough money off the floor of the car to go out for ice cream it is a big treat and even more cause for laughter as we try to taste what the other person got (stbxah would have a fit if someone tried to take food away from him--he is the kind of person who eats and gives the scraps to the kids).
They do grow up way too fast and that is what I have the hardest time with--but am working on. Letting the housework sit on the weekends when I have the kids because during the week there is the usual hurry, hurry, hurry. I was resenting that stbxah is such a pizza and movie dad and then kicked myself and told myself that housework could wait until he had the kids--and now I play with my kids on the weekend. The dustbunnies can wait a week (although that darn lawn never seems to be able to
)
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